am I wrong for going back to school and getting a good education while i'm pregnant.?

Question

I just found out that I am pregnant by this boy and people judge me because I am still going back to school and i don't want to be like other girls who get pregnant and don't go back to school I want to do things with my life after I have my baby I am turning 20 in august so I want to know am I wrong for going back to school while I am pregnant because people tease me and it really starting to bother me because I know I made a mistake but I am handling it so was I wrong or was I right.

Answer 1

My name is Cyndie, I used to work with teens who were pregnant. The majority of these pregnacies were unplanned. However, you do have a plan for your life, which includes your education. Part of growing up is fitting the unexpected into the plan, and making adjustments where necessary. Don't lose focus of your dreams.
I have a girlfriend that I met when I was 22 years old. She got pregnant at 12. She choose to raise her child who is now graduating college.
I know girls who have chosen adoption families for their child by interviewing many couples. I worked in a hospital family birthing unit and helped transfer custody of the babies to the new families. Each state has different laws, and you maintain your right to change your mind ususally for a specified period of time--in Illinois 6 months to change your mind). Also, when unsure, many adoption agencies have units where they can keep and care for the babies for a couple of days to give you some peace when making a decision.
Please get the health care (pre-natal care) you need. It is available from your local health department for free. Also, they can link you to support groups and others who can help you get through this time. You are not alone, and there are more people in the world than just the small minded one's who want to make fun of you.
People who make fun of others have one of two agendas:
1. they don't understand and don't know how to respond
2. they are so insecure about themselves the pick on those they see as weak to try to make themselves feel better.
There may come a time when it gets uncomfortable to sit at a desk and walk around. I had a best friend in high school who planned ahead with her teachers so that when the time came when it was harder for her to get around, she was able to complete her studies at home. Talk to the school to see if you can get a tutor at that time (they should by most state laws be obligated to provide you with a tutor if you cannot get around at school). She became good friends with one teacher who was a tremendous help and support to her. There are kind people in the world--you just have to keep looking until you find them, and pass up the rest.
Finally, "this boy" you refer to, is he being supportive to you in any way? Emotionally, taking you to MD appointments, financially, helping to make future decisions, etc. And how about your parent(s)? After the initial shock wears off, they know they have to adjust the plans they had too--but as adults this is not the first time they have had to adjust to something unforseen, so they will manage. I hope you have supportive parents and that they can help you talk about what you want to do. Also, the health department (also known as the department of human services) has counselors available, so should your school, and anything you say is confidential (unless it is against the law).
There was a program I volunteered for called Healthy Families, they assisted with all kinds of advice and information for young parents. I had two girls, both 19 that I made weekly visits to their homes for support and to answer questions. I don't know if there is such an agency located near you--again, the best place to find out what is available locally is from the health department. Also, there are public health nurses who can answer questions and at times make a home visit.
Also, if you have a spiritual belief, I would remind you that all children come from God as a gift, maybe for us, maybe for another couple who cannot have thier own child. Your local spiritual organization can also be a place of great support and comfort, as they do not judge, they only want to help those who want to help themselves.
Words can hurt, when people tease you it is not so easy to let it roll off your back. That old saying that goes "...but words can never hurt me" is not true--words are powerful and you are learning that they should be chosen carefully. You cannot change others, and getting back at them only fuels them on. I would just kindly thank them for their comments and suggest that before they share their opinions they might want to either get some information on which to base an opinion or just keep it to themselves. Since you never asked for their opinion in the first place it is not necessary for them to share it. After all, tell them you don't give them your opinion of them unsolicited, no matter how true or factual it may be. It is call being discrete, and hopefully they will get the concept.
Long answer to a short question. Hope all goes well for you.
cyndie

Answer 2

There is nothing wrong with that. I would love to do that. My fiance is in the military, though, so I cant b/c he wont be home to help me with much. I am taking a year off, and then going back. It wont be easy to go to school and be pregnant, I'm doing it right now, but it will be the best thing for you. You should do all the school you can now, because once the baby gets here, it will be a different story. Good Luck!!

Answer 3

I think you have full responsibility and ability to decide the direction you want to go! They who say you should not go must consider you need to provide for the baby. That education is the means by which you will attain the work to do this. But, you must make sure you don't hurt yourself or the child in doing this. That, I believe is the concern. Just balance your life now. You need to take care of yourself veeery well right now in concern for the baby's growth and well being. The baby has feelings and emotions tied directly to you...How the baby developes depends on the environment and how well you understand everything is being learned by the child starting now. Not just after birth!! Strange but true. Character of the child starts in the womb.

Hey, hope you have a healthy and vibrant child. May you be the mother they love and cherish. I pray you be strengthened and supported well through your pregnancy. =-) Take care,

Answer 4

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you going back to school. Honestly, I respect you for doing so. So many women this day in age get pregnant and don't receive a proper education for themselves, which makes it hard to raise their children. Jobs are not easy to find and if you get a degree, they seem to be able to flow in a lot easier. You don't want to be on welfare and foodstamps all your life. That is an awesome thing! You go girl and show all of those people that you can not only be smart, beautiful and successful...but that you can also be a wonderful mother. Great mom's are well educated. I'm proud of you!

Answer 5

Right now your #1 priority isn't yourself, your school, or what your friends think.... it's this child you decided to create. You need to think really hard if you want to have & keep this child when you don't have financial security, an education, or the selfconfidence to ignore people who "tease" you.

If all you can do is worry about yourself & your feelings, you're not wrong for wanting to stay in school but you ARE wrong for wanting to raise this child when he's not your #1 priority. When you have kids nothing else can matter. You have got to be prepared to put everything else on hold for them.

Where is the father in all this? Is he going to help raise his child? Why not talk it over with him to see how much he is planning to support you & his new child, both financially and emotionally.

Answer 6

So what if you're pregnant?!? These people have no right to judge you! So you're in a bad situation by becoming pregnant (I'm assuming this wasn't planned) but you obviously have a good enough head on your shoulders to realize that you (and your child) are going to need that education to get you ahead in life.

Hold your head high, girl! It'll be tough to juggle both but well worth it in the end! My hat's off to you!

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong with going to school while you are pregnant. In fact it is a very smart thing to do. Good for you. Dont let other people's opinions get you down. You do what you feel is right.

Answer 8

YOU GO GIRL! not many people have the courage to keep going. When people found out I was gay it would have been easy to simply drop out of school and walk away from the teasing but if you stick to it they will admire you in the end for your courage. Go to school. Get good grades. Have your baby and show them that you can do everything they can't!

Answer 9

It is never a bad idea to further your education. You sound like you are a very sensible person who knows what she wants. How any one can be so insensitive as to tease a young woman for being responsible and working towards making a better life for herself and her unborn baby is beyond me. Stay strong and keep doing what you feel is right. Good luck

Answer 10

Absolutely NOT!!! An education is your key to life, for you and your child. You obviously have a good head on your shoulders so don't waste it. Get your education while you can. If it happens that you have your baby before you finish your schooling, take a leave, but make sure you go back and finish your education. good luck to you!

Answer 11

Good for you to try and be independant. There's absolutely nothing wrong with going to school and being pregnant. If you don't want people to tease you, then don't tell them your situation. Keep your personal life personal.