Why is it that marriage seems to be taken so lightly these days? Doesn't it mean anything any more?

Question

I mean my grand parents have been married for over 50 years. They don't get a long all the time( in fact all they do is fight) BUT they love each other. What makes people get divorced so freely? Would people still get married if divorce was against the law? I always tell my friends that I don't want to be a (baby momma) that I want to be married before starting a family but really there's no guarantee my marriage will last. Sorry I asked like 4 questions!

Answer 1

There are no gaurantees in life either way. My grandparents have been married for over 50 years too. My parents however got divorced when I was 12 and remarried again when I was 14, only to turn around and get divorced again, well they are in the process anyhow. I think if Divorce was against the law, then more people would have multiple affairs, kill their spouses or hire a hit man to do it. Either way they'd find a way to rid themselves of their spouse. I think it all depends on what's important to you, and marriage is important to you. You also have to realize that marriage is way more then that special day where you get to wear that pretty white dress and get alot of gifts from people you haven't seen in years. It's WAY more than that. You are going to have stupid fights and disagreements, it's how you settle them that's going to matter. It's how you communicate together and if you put eachother above yourselves. Along with being married you have to embrace a certain unselfishness, or it won't work. Life brings along alot of suprises and trials...all to bring us closer to God and make us stronger partners and families. If you use "stinking thinking" then you won't last, infact you'll end up like most of the world today, divorced and searching for that one perfect mate. There is no perfect mate! You have to work at marriage, you really do. The sex will become monotonous, the kids will get on your nerves as well as the mothers in laws and etc. The thing is that you have to realize that your relationship comes first! Another good thing to do even after marriage is to date eachother at least twice a month,even after the kids come into the picture. I give you kudos for not wanting to become just another "baby momma". I suggest waiting, making a list of what you want in a spouse and then comparing notes and maybe even getting premarital counseling before the big day. I've been married for almost 11 years, and it has been no cake walk, but I made a vow and I take it very seriously. I have seen also many blessings in my marriage. We've been through alot together, and are still enduring the storms of life, but we are weathering them together because that's what we promised to do, not run the other direction when the going got tough or look for another person to have an affiar with when the romantic waters get a little still. Also remember, we can't read eachothers mind and it's foolish to assume that the other person can. Keep the lines of communication open, and don't do anything that would break the trust. I pray that you will be blessed and will be one of the few marriages out there that will make it until "death do you part". It's a constant work in progress.

Answer 2

Marriage was an institution that was created when people didn't live past 40 on a regular basis. This probably explains why the divorce rate started to go up. The problem is, children of divorced parents, are much more likely to get divorced themselves. The reasons for this is beyond the scope of this answer, but have a lot to do with following examples about how to have a relationship.
If you want to find a stable relationship, find a partner with parents that are still together, and those parents are both on their first marriage (barring death of a spouse). The divorce rate for couples where both people are on their first marriage is much lower than that of those on their second (or later) marriage. So, avoid those divorcees if you want a long term marriage.

Answer 3

Back in the days, the entire family got involved in the selection process. The man had to ask for the hand in marriage and know that he made a vow before God. Nowadays, people's word is not their bond, like in the old days. They had divorce in the old days, but their word meant something. There are still men who honor their word, you just have to take a long time getting to know them.

The problem is whirlwind romances and then the woman is left for a younger model or does not realize who she is married to and divorce seems like the perfect out for both. If you have long relationships before marrying, where you know the man you are with, you will make better decisions and will have a lasting relationship. Lovers become friends become confidants become a couple who will never part. By this point, they complete one another.

Answer 4

I actually think it's healthy for the ADULTS in a relationship to split up if they're unhappy and there's no chance it will work out between the two of them. Adults used to feel they had no choice, they had to stay in a marriage no matter how unhappy they were, and that's bad for anybody.

The tough part about divorce is what it does to the children if there are any. Since many divorces come when the parents are so angry at each other that they literally HATE each other, that's very bad for the children. Amicable ones, where the parents still work together for the benefit of their children, are a little better, but it's still hard on the kids.

There's no easy answers :)

Answer 5

People go into marriage on a whim a lot of times because it is so easy to get a divorce. If divorce was against the law then I think people wouldn't get married as much.

Answer 6

Since the divorce rate is higher than the marriage rate I think 49% of the married people get the commitment part! VOWS are spoken and each time we feel like deviating from the proverbial beaten path we should remind ourselves of the promises we made to the other and to God. The ability to keep our word and tough it out makes up the character we lack or have, moral maturity!

Answer 7

it is so because a guy and girl feel they can enjoy all the goodies there is in marriage while stil single without having to do the commitments ( i mean if i can get honey without having to go to a bee hive and stand the chance of being stung by bees, of course i'll opt for it. that is why marriage is being abused today.

people get divorced freely cos they are not able 2 face the challenges marriage offers.

of course people will stil marry if divorce is no option. even with freedom to divorce not all couples opt out.

nothing in life comes just like dat, in school u have to study hard to get good grades, you have to work hard to get a dirty environment clean. so also you have to work hard to have the kind of home you so desire, by working hard at relationships and be sensitive to the kind of person you finally settle for.

Answer 8

Life has become very complex these days and each person is becoming selfish and self centered these days.It creates problems.
marriage to me is a union of two hearts having positive vibes for the other.It is also a life full of enjoyment,security,love,care,affection and sharing for each other.Every-one has mood-swings and if your spouse is rude to u ,u must either pacify him with cool and calm mind or submit to him and be a patient listener.he will regret 4 it later when he cools down.If instead one also behaves in the same manner there can b problems leading 2 break up.So one should wisely enjoy his married life and make compromises where ever necessary.Probably u have seen negative side of things around u.Look 4 a positive side and b inspired by it B optimistic it will lead to happiness.Dont let pessimistic approach rule u Instead u turn it down

Answer 9

good question, all i could think of is people fool around more these days than b4, they don't respect 4 eachother like b4, they get tired of the realtionship easily, i agree once u get married it should b 4eva, but unfortunately ithat's not da case these days.

Answer 10

they just give up trying i think it is sad. If they want a marriage they should try for it and just be like ok it doesnt work lets break it off