From Texas.....Ive been married for 6 years, have three kids who i ADORE. Problem is my marraige. She is someone who has to have everything "her" way. Is an anal-relentive, control freaks worse nightmare. Yells, screams and puts me down for the fact that i dont do everything the way she wants it done. Everytime we sit to have a talk about things...its her telling me what i do wrong (a list that goes on for hours). Constantly tells me, in ways that are very hurtful....whats wrong with me. We havent had sex in a very long time (which again is my fault) and i dont see that changing because....i cant. I cant be sexual with someone who bites my head off whenever she feels like it.
what should i do?
2006-06-16 05:00:00 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i take care of the kids in the morning....and at night when im not working
2006-06-16 05:12:07 · update #1
Take her hunting in her brand new bearskin coat!!
2006-06-28 05:22:11 · answer #1 · answered by athorgarak 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have to give you a honest and helpful decision on this one.
I am a married man of 9 years.
My wife was the same way at first and I told her this one time
and stuck to my decision. If you don't stop biting my head of and blaming me for everything and try to work things out (FOR REAL). I will go through the process of leaving you where you will have NOONE to yell at. Relationship is 50/50. Even on the blame. If all she can do is blame you and have no answers then she is not trying to work things out. She is just trying to be right! Stick to your guns and take the hard right. Show her that you are not trying to be the boss but you are sticking up for your own opinions. Make sure you mean business and don't go back on your word or she will always no she has you in the palm of her hand. I know kids are an issue but if you are a good father let her know that there is no court that she can threaten you with. I know some women love to use that one.
2006-06-16 12:08:25 · answer #2 · answered by dd 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is "was" my exact situation........I always took it ans just agreed and finally got tired of it I was "nothing w/o him" well I cracked one day and brought home separation papers and he was shocked he said he didn't think they were real so I said call the lawyer listed there on the paperwork. It took him 3 weeks of begging and sorry and he finally signed then I was scared to death at the same time to start over after 9 years ans 2 kids but I did. We have been divorced for 1. years and I'm recently engaged and the kids love the new guy!
Life can be good but sometimes you have to stand for yourself to get it there. Though we are divorced we get along better now then before and in all it's so much better this way!
Good luck all will lead you to what it is you should do.
2006-06-27 11:13:52 · answer #3 · answered by vcaring 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, grow a pair would ya?
That whole statement made me cringe for the males of the world. What kind of wuss are you?
Stand up and be a man, you let her put your nuts in a jar on the shelf.
Have another sit down, and TELL her how it's gonna be. Not, "we should", not "why don't we", not, "let's try".
At the very least you need to even out the relationship, because your kids know you are a door mat too and they will start to beat your *ss also.
If you don't get back to square, you gotta leave, you have to take care of yourself. That's all I got. Good luck.
Ever see "Major League"? Huevos? Got it.
2006-06-16 12:45:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if she'll speak to a professional. If you can't reason with her and if she isn't willing to listen to how you feel, you have no choice but to get outside help.
I've been in your shoes, and it's not an easy thing to get out of. In my case she wouldn't change so I had to do what was best and go my own way. It was an easier decision for me because there were no kids, but do you really want your kids to be in a house where there is constant fighting? Maybe you can be better parents if you are living apart? Don't give up until you've tried getting outside help first though. Too many people give up without trying.
2006-06-16 12:04:01 · answer #5 · answered by aqsgtriad 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about you tell her that you just cannot take any more and you need her to go to marriage counseling with you.
The way she is dealing with relationship issues is not working. Marriage is a TWO way street.
And, you have to decide if she refuses to go to counseling and try to work to improve your communication, are you willing to stay in the marriage as it is?
You cannot give an ultimatum if you are not willing to back it up.
You could always try to get custody of your kids. Even joint custody will let you see them frequently.
But this situation is NOT good for your self esteem!
Good luck to you.
2006-06-16 12:08:24 · answer #6 · answered by Kyawoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for divorce and full custody then leave after youve done that ..make recordings of the way she treats you and her yelling and screaming.If you just leave and you dont take your children then her abuse will be directed at your children without you there to take the brunt of it.Just make sure you dont tell her you want a divorce until youve filed for it and custody .Otherwise she may try to hurt you by using your kids against you .
2006-06-16 12:07:30 · answer #7 · answered by N M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get professional help. Maybe her hormones are off? Maybe she needs a personalitly change. Tape her sometime and see what she thinks of her own behavior. Don't let the kids suffer through this. Life is too short to be so misserable. I imagine you can't do a thing to please her. Give me your email and I will send you a couple of articles, one called..Fight Fair.
You guys definatly need help. Stand up for yourself
I wish you the best.
2006-06-26 03:44:56 · answer #8 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce
2006-06-16 12:03:32 · answer #9 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am feeling the same...but with no kids. don't let her make u believe that you have everything wrong with you. i have no clue what you should do as kids make the decision very difficult. but just remember "take a stand"...remember the Alamo! at least that's what i am trying to do. and get my nuts out of the jar they have been put in.
2006-06-16 13:07:55 · answer #10 · answered by pinched 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude, i just got out of one of those. sounds alot like you're blaming yourself too....if you can't have sex with her because of her attitude, that aint all your fault, it's not you with the attitude and control problems.
I say, offer her counseling one time, if she refuses to go then take your kids and get out, get the best lawyer you can find cuz if she's really a beyatch, you'll need a good lawyer. don't give in too much, she'll just use it to her advantage.
2006-06-16 12:28:26 · answer #11 · answered by stratplayer1967 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋