I've been in this relationship for one year. I thought that we were made one for the other, but know I realise that I have no feelings for her.
Still, she doesn't wnat us to break up, b/c she says that she invested too much in this relationship
How could I make her understand that things aren't the way they used to be...?
2006-06-16 04:22:06 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You must be firm. Break off contact with her for at least three months to show her that you are completely serious about your intention not to be with her.
Just before you break off contact, make sure that she has a clear explanation of your reasons for not wanting to be in a realtionship with her. Be clear and decisive. If you hesitate, she will take advantage of that.
2006-06-16 05:59:56 · answer #1 · answered by Fluorescent 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Another fickle man...made for each other and then realising having no feelings for her. Extremes. I don't know how you do that.
Well, you still need to be honest with her. Don't let her harbour false hopes if you no longer feel for her. It's better for both of you in the long run.
As for how to tell her - you figure it out and take the hits and the guilt. Cos 1 year of something becoming nothing - well, I can only say that fickleness has it's price - and you have to pay for it. Try to stay as friends if you can - parting nicely instead of badly. She needs closure and only you can give it to her cos you're the one who hurt her badly.
2006-06-16 04:35:29 · answer #2 · answered by Bugsy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she doesnt want you to break up because she has invested too much into the relationship. That doesnt sound right to me, You both should be putting into the relationship. My relationship went a tad stale after a year but we worked it out and another year on we couldnt be happier. If there is absolutely no love at all, then end it and have time to yourself and be happy. Who knows you might end up getting back together and having soooo much fun like i did.
2006-06-16 04:32:07 · answer #3 · answered by amy d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The girl will get upset with you because you probably told her she was the best thing that had ever happened to you and then changed your mind. Girls feel more deeply than that and cannot turn their feelings on and off so she really wont understand it. She will feel like you have led her up the garden path. Just tell her straight and face the consequences. Next time you get with a girl and you feel like you really like her just hold back a little and take it slow. Don't profess your love until you know for sure.
2006-06-16 05:52:29 · answer #4 · answered by Amanda C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her that you understand a lot of time has been invested in this relationship and that it would be unfair to you and to her to continue with it. Your not interested in her anymore and you can't force yourself to be with her much less love her. Although you at one time loved her the love is lost and the feelings just aren't there anymore. Let her know that she'll always have a place in your heart but that it's just not going to work. You can't be in a relationship if your not willing to be fully committed and willing to give your all. In time you will both find someone to share your life with, to grow old with possibly but all you know is that she isn't that person. Good luck buddy!
* Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising everytime we fall ! *
2006-06-16 04:30:44 · answer #5 · answered by Mia A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry but if you told her and she dont understand well tuff ti*s! What you gonna do live a life of unhappyness until you start to resent her because you got no backbone to tell her and actually walk out the door because she cry's. Chances are if the relationship is all good and working for her but isnt for you then you aint never gonna make her understand!! Sit her down and tell her sorry but......... Then leave.
2006-06-16 04:47:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, just say it straight out. Be firm, honest, but kind.
No one really wants to stay in a relationship with someone else who has no feelings for you.
Waffling around and letting her beg you to stay is doing neither of you any good.
2006-06-16 04:29:00 · answer #7 · answered by Kyawoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a silly reason to stay together because she has put to much time into the relationship?
You know she isn't right so why stay and be miserable? Because now your just wasting each others time!
2006-06-16 04:30:02 · answer #8 · answered by MaryJaneD 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel guilty. She needs to understand that you are being honest with her. By her trying to keep the relationship, she's lying to herself. Buddy, you need to just move on. She's being selfish. She should appreciate your honesty and compassion to tell her the truth. If you stay in the relationship, you will be miserable. Move on!!!!!!!
2006-06-16 04:27:37 · answer #9 · answered by gab_b_i 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get through to her that wasting one year is a whole lot better than wasting 16, like I did. Tell her you are going, then do it. Good luck to you.
2006-06-17 12:58:39 · answer #10 · answered by k0005kat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋