i left my husband 6 mths ago b/c of his drinking and drugs now he went through rehab. do i give him a chance?

Answer 1

well you should try spending time with him to see if he's changed. Go out to eat, to the movies, to the beach, and talk for awhile. Then you can decide whether to work things out again or not.

Answer 2

I would give a little bit of tome after the rehab to make sure he does not relapse. You need to ask yourself, was this the only reason or was it something else that made me leave? If this was the only reason, why not give it a go. This seperation must have impacted him b/c only people that want help go through rehab. People are not perfect and when you married him it was "for better or for worse" I'm sure he needs as much support he can get and I'm sure you would be the strongest rock he could hold on to. Just watch yourself and keep up with his progress.

Answer 3

Years ago I would have said yes. I was in exactly the same situation. Now I would say no. I feel this way mainly because the two of you have probably been through very trying times together. There wil always be hard feelings here. It would probably benefit you both not to try to relive the past. He will blame you later if he fails because you are a crutch for him because of your love. You will always have hard feelings and friends would probably be very helpful to you both. A loving caring person to lean on is worth more than a sexual relationship now. Try your life as his friend or not before jumping back in. Try to find yourself , know that their addiction is not because of you. You must be a strong hearted person, I am but i was also harming his healing process by aiding him. Good Luck write me if you would like to ever talk!

Answer 4

I was in this same position and decided after 30 days of sobriety to go back. It's the best thing I could have ever done I went to his meetings with him and so did our kids. If you can encourage him and support him and still love him go for it. If he's true he'll stay off 6 months is a huge step for an addict it's so awesome to see the people @ the meeting that have 30 years. Encourage meetings and try to go too, it will provide the support & understanding you both need. Good luck!

Answer 5

My first husband also drank and did drugs, before you can give him a second chance you need to heal from the relationship as well- my ex like to hit as well- it took awhile for me to get over being abused even if it is just verbal- If he has really changed let him live separately from you and see how he does on his own- A new life is in store and so I feel you need to start on neutral ground- give the rehab time to work old habits do die hard give it time- From experience time is on your side- I pray you have success in whatever you choose-

Answer 6

Give it Time see if he is for real on the rehab thing, also an addict should never start anything that needs work, because he needs to "work" on himself for at least the first year at least thats what they told me. most recovering addicts will relapse within the first month after they're out of the center. oh they're good for awhile, but, there is that chance. So take it slow if he's serious then hell be there at the end of the journey

Answer 7

I would, but make sure he goes to meetings. Maybe you can go too. My father died 3 months ago because of excessive drinking/drugs. He became clean and sober about 2 years prior to dying. So people CAN change and when they do it is AMAZING!! It was very hard for him, but he had our support. Unfortunately it was a little too late. Tell your husband it WILL kill him. My dad stayed sober for the last two years by going to meetings, exercising, and making new friends. I never thought my dad would change but he did. He went to rehab dozens of times and most of the time it did not work...but eventually it did. So if he only went once make sure he goes to those meetings and STAYS BUSY. I would love to help anyone like this since it was too late to help my dad. If you have children then you have to work it out. My dad and I became BEST friends when he stopped drinking. Remind him of how much it will mean to his family. No body wants to watch their loved one die!!!!

Answer 8

I left my husband for the same reasons and they have to keep going with there recovery. Also therapy just for you until the therapist suggests otherwise is a good idea because of what you are going through in dealing with an addict. You need to not get into the relationship right away,stay friends but the general rule in recovery is no relationships for at least a year it messes with the Path to staying sober.

Answer 9

It depends on how long you were married, if there are children involved and how much you can stand being around him. I was married to an alcoholic and after a while, I couldn't stand him when he was sober, and wished he would have a drink. The marriage didn't last, but there were two children who suffered because of it. Life was better without daddy, but it was still hard as hell. Footnote: he only got sober after 30 years because he literally almost drank himself to death. He is kinder and a little more responsible than before, but I still find it hard to be around him for very long.

Answer 10

Do you still love him? Does he still love you? If he was into drugs and drinking before you split up, you may have never known the real him and he may not be the same man you loved. But if it's what your heart's telling you, go for it. Everyone should deserve at least one chance to be forgiven.

But be careful, many people who go through rehab will fall into a relaps.

Answer 11

I am glad my wife gave me quite a few chances!!!

She left me 4 seperate times because of my drinking!

But, after 27 years of marriage, she is happy that I was able to kick the habit!! (I hated it myself, and it ruined my health, but, I was unable to do it, until the LORD stepped in and helped me with it).

It depends, on what you want to put up with. And if there are any kids involved. If he really wants to quit, then he has to have help, and lots of it. He has to go through rehab, maybe a few times, until it sticks. But, once it does, you both will be happy about it..

I wish you well..

Jesse