Who can convince my parents to accept my love marriage after 10 years. No jokes please?

Question

Yes we both are from hindu religion and normally marriage is arranged. I was asked to leave their house when i told them that i am getting married to my girl friend.

The only reason they told me is, she is not good enough for me and their family.

I left my house on the same day with only a cash of 5000 INR and now i am in a good position and abroad. I have not spoken to them since then, but i collect information about their health.

I can't do much because i think they hate me for this reason. Also they don't need me becuase they are with my sister

Answer 1

Nobody can after 10 years. You need to quit trying and accept that you won't get their approval and move on. A thing like that can eat away at you and cause all sorts of damage. Maybe it would make you feel better to confront them alone, explain that you fully understand their position but you no longer are wanting their stamp of approval. If they treat your spouse rudely, ask them to be civil or risk not seeing you either. You need to finally take a stand on behalf of your spouse.

Answer 2

First of All, My congrats to you. U have chosen not to disregard one for the other. The care U show for your parents is commendable.

My suggestion would be to go in person, and meet them. It can be the hardest, but in the end, it is the best one. The lasting solution to any problem can come, only if the principal players come face to face.

If it cannot be done, try this.
I guess from your Q, that U still retain and practise the customs/traditions followed by ur family. Try to make a Video of ur following the traditions, also, a normal day in ur(entire family) life. Somebody, who is in close touch with your parents must be providing you inputs about them. Use that person. Make that person play the video, when ur parents visit him/her (preferably as a coincidence). Sometimes, that might just do the trick and thaw the ice.

Hoping for the best, and awaiting an update on the forum, that U have been happily re-united.

Answer 3

Priya, i am going to in undemanding words recommend in this serious situaltion that attempt to convience your moms and dads. to shrink short i am going to in undemanding words say through your one decision any such enormous quantity of lives would get replaced in a unmarried way or the different, in simple terms take the decision wherein few human beings frequently is the sufferer. Surly your moms and dads frequently is the most effected through your decision. even if you're autonomous and could be earning good bucks yet you comprehend the way a lot your moms and dads would have executed that you need to make you so effective and in the present day you're of your own. you'll get each element out from this international with money even if the advantages and maximum proper desires of your moms and dads is totally not there once you receives married with available consent. At your inlaws position also in some unspecified time sooner or later or the different you'll visit and there'll be someone to discuss or criticize . i am going to in undemanding words say in case you extremely love him enable him to start up his own existence and one element more effective i'd pick to inform you is that love is continuously sacrifice .

Answer 4

After 10 years, I think it's a safe bet that they are not going to change...however, if you are in love and your marriage is solid, I wouldn't give too much thought to it anymore...your parents are from a different school of thought, so they are as adamant in their beliefs as you are about your marriage...keep checking on them like you have been, and move on with your life...life is short, don't waste any more time trying to change things that cannot be changed...good luck to you and congrats on the duration of your marriage, that's a rarity these days.....

Answer 5

Was she from a different religon or a lower caste?
I appreciate you for your courage. If you had not married her, in Indian culture, her reputation would have been ruined.
I can sympathise with you - it must have been lonely for you. The best advice I can give you is, try to find some member of the family who will accept your wife and be friends with them. Then it will be a gradual process.
You can contact me if you want to talk more. I know people who have experienced similarly.
meanwhile, go here to read
http://members.tripod.com/~goodnewsforyou

Answer 6

I've been sort of in a situation like this and I can tell you how to solve it. The real problem is you're licking their boots and trying to suck up to them and they know they have power over you. They're using it, too. Quit calling, quit writing, quit visiting, and quit caring. It won't be long they'll come sucking up to you, wondering what they can do to stay a part of your life. The more you distance yourself, eventually, the more they'll do to try to stay connected. Then the power's wielded the other way. That's much better. That's how I deal with my family. It's worked pretty well.

Answer 7

After 10 years I would be tired of trying! Now it is your choice to pick, I say either Grow up and be married or run back to mommy and daddy and let them make the choice of how you need to life your entire life! You cant have your cake and cookie too. That isnt fair to your partner! Your parents raised you for 18 years..move on

Answer 8

No one can convince them to accept your partner. They were raised with different beliefs than we were. All parents have an idea of who you should marry. They can accept someone close to their ideas. You just have to love your partner and not worry about what your parents think. If they truly respect you they will accept him/her no matter what they actually believe.... Good luck

Answer 9

Honey, Theirs nothing that u can do to convince them that your in love because if they have'nt been around for the past ten years and can't support u even if the think its a mistake u. ust move on with your life and when hey come around, they come around.(Even If it's hard to move on , because who does'nt want their parents approvel,you have to move on).

Answer 10

if you haven't gotten them to accept it after 10 years, then they probably aren't going to. why don't they accept it? what does he do wrong? DOES he do anything wrong? what's the deal? i need a lot more information if i'm to help you out.