My husband and I just broke up a couple of weeks ago after almost 16 years of marriage due to his anger management problems and emotional abuse. He's now in Michigan with his family and the two kids (13 & 15) and I are in Wisconsin. They don't want to visit him. Should I make them spend time with their dad this summer anyway? Please respond and let me know if your opinion is from the parent or kid's perspective.
2006-06-16 02:11:03 · 9 answers · asked by wickedvicked1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Supervised visits are the best in this case. However, if the kids don't want to visit him and they are obviosly old enough to make there own decisions then don't force them. They are to the age where they should be able to decide what they want. They must not like being with him that often and you don't want to force them and have them feel like that when they are with you.
Let the kids be adults and make their own decision.
2006-06-16 02:20:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Despite all of the advice to let the kids decide or to do what ever you want, this is a very important decision, because the wrong decision could come back to haunt you later.
Parents have a duty to promote their children's relationship with the other parent. Failing to allow the father access, even if the kids don't want it, could be interpreted as not promoting your children's best interest. Denying access can result in the court taking custody away from you and awarding it to the other parent.
It's common for teens to not want to visit the other parent, especially right after the breakup if the children have heard too much about the parental conflict. They may align with the parent who was "hurt" the most and be angry at the parent who left. But they need to resolve that, and allowing them to decide whether they want to spend time with dad is a poor parental decision.
Talk with your attorney about this. Never deny access by the other parent unless there is a legitimate danger to the children (not just one made up in your mind to justify not sending them to him). If you don't make the right choice here (from a legal perspective), you could really muck things up.
2006-06-16 09:45:00 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. Doom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kids are old enough to have a "voice" regarding visitation, but your (ex) husband also has visitation rights. Is he demanding that they come visit him? The good news right now, is that no visitation has been established, so in the eyes of the law, you have custody and the power - just be sure that it is what the kids want or don't want, and that you are not being their voice, projecting what YOU want or don't want. Good Luck!
2006-06-16 10:05:15 · answer #3 · answered by working mom of 3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check with an attorney they may not have to go visit him if they choose not to. At a certain age kids can decide for themselves if and when they want to go. I think your kids are old enough to make that decision for themselves. Again, check with an attorney as laws are different in every state.
2006-06-16 09:25:54 · answer #4 · answered by ladysteelersince1976 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find out exactly why they don't want to spend time with him. And have him visit at your house till they feel comfortable with him. Don't make them. I am a Mom with an ex husband.
2006-06-16 11:00:13 · answer #5 · answered by Molly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't force them. Try to get to the bottom of why they don't want to see him. You may be able to answer this question yourself! Good luck to ya!!
2006-06-16 09:25:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Supervised vists at your house only, parents view. as a visitor he would be more likley to be on his best behavior and you can always have him leave. It would kill me never to see my kid again.
2006-06-16 09:16:11 · answer #7 · answered by Tom H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your children are old enough to make that decision not to see their dad dont push it.
2006-06-16 09:31:39 · answer #8 · answered by arizonabrat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not if they are afraid of him please be for you force them think of what you went thru and how it affected them and not force them to do something you couldnt take any more
2006-06-16 09:17:51 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋