My sister got pregnant with both of her children to keep a man in her life. (A fact she reluctantly admitted to me one night). The first time it was with her husband, who ended up leaving her when the baby was one and getting custody of their daughter. The second time was with her boyfriend, who did marry her, but they divorced when her son was 3 (she now has custody of him). Now she is dating a new man that she claims she loves and wants to marry and I know for a fact that she's not on birth control. I really think that she's trying to get pregnant again to keep this man in her life. How do I tell her that she is only hurting herself, her children and all those around her, not to mention her chance at a real relationship by doing this? I tried telling her this before her second child was born, but she refused to listen and even stopped speaking to me for almost a year.
2006-06-16 02:00:47 · 22 answers · asked by yogazen 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I would like to add that it is myself and my mother and grandmother who take care of her son most of the time! He is 5 now.
2006-06-16 02:09:03 · update #1
There's not much we can do when someone in our lives is bent on not listening. You can only try pointing out that it didn't work the first two times and it won't work this time. Of course, you then have to sit through her not speaking to you again. You probably aren't going to get through to her on this. I am so sorry.
2006-06-16 02:06:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
If it's bothering you enough to ask for advise, then you obviously want to talk to her. My suggestion is to approach it casually. The next time you two are sitting around chatting about life and daily things, start probing her gently on how she feels for this man and why. Sit and really listen to her. As the conversation progresses, let you feelings known, but also make sure she knows how much you love her and that you will support any decision she makes. Then move on the happier topics and leave it at that.
If you try to preach or judge, she will not listen and you will only damage your relationship. Be honest, but loving.
2006-06-16 02:15:51 · answer #2 · answered by stacey797 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I have a sister of my own and well what can I say...they might listen or they will just ignore, but me and my sister is close so we talk about alot of stuff if we are confortble.....well anyways
Just tell yor sister that her doing the same thing that she has always done is not gonna make nobody happy...not even her self..think about her children and put her feet in that guys ...would she want a guy to get her pregnant she so he would marry him even though he and she knew that she didn't want a big relationship that quick..
2006-06-16 02:04:59 · answer #3 · answered by sexii4m3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time your sister doesn't listen to you,just grab her and sit her down.Keep her sitting down until she listens to you.Tell her that your her big sister and that you need to listen to me cause it is my responsibility to take care of her.
Ask her why she is getting pregnant with all these men.What your sister should do is get a real man and she should ask him,will you ever leave me or just ask love questions.The guy would start to get the point and he probably won't leave her.Or your sister should ask her boyfriend,are you only dating me for sex?,or are you dating me because youlove me?these are like serious questions.
So try to make more time to talk to your sister.If she still don't listen,then your luck.
2006-06-16 06:51:10 · answer #4 · answered by lolladybugs_alexia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that obviously her method of havng a baby to keep the man obviously isn't working. When she finally gets a real marriage wiothout having the child he might not stay because she has like 5 or 6 other kids. He will be a little upset that all of them have a different daddy in which she was married and divorced. He might leave her because of it. I mean if she isn't going to listen to you she will just have to learn the hard way. I mean you are trying to help her out. For her own good. I mean really if she is not going to listen you have to just either keep trying, Or just sit back for a while. She is not going to change her mind until she learns. You have to still worry, but don't worry to much to the point that you always find yourself wasting your breath to tell her not to do it. but keep your head up. Just don't give up too much hope.
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DONT GIVE UP HOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KEEP YO HEAD UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-06-16 02:18:41 · answer #5 · answered by homeskilletbiscuit102 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so take a hint the girl is confusing sex for love and thinks a poor child will replace the love when the guy leaves obviously she has some unreslved childhood issues only you would know about so go there with her and try to address these with her instead of dumping on her
2006-06-16 02:05:32 · answer #6 · answered by bridgettemarie123@yahoo.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's really tough...you can only try talking to her but if she doesn't want to hear it, you can't make her. she is probally dealing with some sort of abandonment and confidence issues, just reassure her that you will be there for her through her whole life. telling her this might make her feel more secure without a man. she sounds to be relatonship hopping, i think she may need some time without a man. best of luck!
2006-06-16 02:04:51 · answer #7 · answered by lovemeforever229 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's a tough one but i wanted to respond anyway...it's a difficult situation. i think what you need to do is give her what is referred to as "tough love." you need to get in a space that makes you ok with the possibility of her being mad at you, but you have to say what she needs to hear. it's not easy to hear by any means, but it really sounds like she is hurting herself, her children, and the people that love her. I'd just try my best to be ok with the possibility of my sister being mad at me because it's a sister's job to do the unfun things like tell her she's being an idiot when she's being an idiot. i know it's not much help but i couldn't believe more that you need to say something so it doesn't happen again.
2006-06-16 02:05:23 · answer #8 · answered by boredatwork 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't want to seek help, then walk away. She's only digging a hole for herself and taking you with her. If she refuses to listen, then you should refuse to be her shoulder to cry on once reality sets in. Good Luck.
2006-06-16 02:09:15 · answer #9 · answered by RX2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her not to bring another baby into a relationship until she knows she and her mate are really happy together at least. Tell her how it only hirts the child.
2006-06-16 02:04:54 · answer #10 · answered by nastaany1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋