newborns and naps?

Question

I am just starting to watch a little girl she is 3 1/2 months old and for the first 2 months she was watched by her grandfather and he spoiled her to what seems to be no return, you have to hold her until she falls asleep and then you have to carefully place her in the bed or she wakes up screaming and won't stop screaming and i cannot hold her all the time because i also have a son who is 6 1/2 months old who needs my attention too, just not as much, she will not sit in a boucy seat, carseat, swing, nothing she just wants to be held all the time what should i do to get her to learn to go to sleep on her own i do not know because i never had this problem with my son he has always slept alone with no problems he put himself on a schedale i just need some help form people who have been through this before

she will "cry it out" for hours and still not fall asleep so that is not going to work she will scream until you go pick her up and feed her even though she has just eaten she takes a pacifier but will not keep it in her mouth because she is to busy screaming

for everyone who says that i do not care about or like the child you are wrong i have known her mother for years and i love her child i was just looking for some ways to get the baby to learn to go to sleep on its own and it is possible to spoil a child that young if you hold a child all the time that is what the child knows so if you put it down it is something new i really could not care what "studies" say they are not parents they just know what they can see from some children and i am capable to take care of both children i am not an idiot my son does not require a whole lot of attention but he does need to eat i do not neglect either child i just want to know how to put a child on a scheduale because i have never had to do it and also how to get a child to sleep alone i have never had to deal with that either so unless you can tell me how to do that just keep your comments to yourselves and thank you to all the people that have given suggestions

Answer 1

If you can live without the money stop babysitting the child.Your mental health and ability to care for your own child is more important then caring for the 'spoiled' child of someone else.

Answer 2

Yes crying is the answer; however you need to do it carefully. First of all because she is so young you should do it gradually. You don’t want the whole process to back fire on you.

First: During the time she is awake put her in the bouncy or play mat and sit down with her. Talk to her, play with her, keep her occupied. Once she gets used to sitting without crying, go to the next step.

Rock her to sleep. When she gets really drowsy put her in the crib. But don't try to sneak out. This will cause separation anxiety. Just stay with her and hold her hand or something to assure her you are there. She will cry. Let her cry little bit while you are in the room. Remember she is not ready to be alone yet. And yes I know you have your own kid :). Do this till she is ready for the next step.

Now, feed her and change her. Make sure she has no gas either. Tell her it is time to go to sleep. Kids can feel the negative energy from you. Be calm and don't look worried or in a hurry to leave the room. They do not like being rushed. Put her in the crib. Kiss her good night. Put classical music on and leave the room after talking to her little bit. May be read her a story.

Remember kids like a routine. If you repeat your routine everyday consistently at the same time in the same order, she will know what to expect from you. For instance put her to sleep 10-1, 2-5 everyday. If your routine is change diaper, feed, burp, read a story, kiss good night and put classical music on, do it exactly the same way everyday.

Keep in mind kids get more aggressive if they don't sleep a lot. Unlike adults it is hard to sleep for them if they are tired. It takes patience but key is consistency. Good Luck to you :)

Answer 3

Actually, it is probably the mother who spoiled her. She held her constantly--24/7--for nine *months*!! Not only that, she fed the kid *constantly* so that now, she thinks that is *normal*. I understand the mother *even* held her during naps--can you BELIEVE it?! And I hear that the first time the mother let go of her daughter for just a few seconds, the baby cried. No wonder the kid is so spoiled. Any mother who holds a baby for months on end like that is obviously spoiling her, don't you think?

Maybe you need to be a *caregiver* instead of a watcher. You're the adult in the relationship.

Answer 4

I almost spoiled my daughter like that. I held her all day and couldn't put her anywhere. Since I am home all day it was driving me crazy. So I started to put her in her carseat in the stroller and talk to her and let her watch me. I put her in the bouncy seat or rocking chair and I won't pick her up unless something is wrong. Then I'll fix it & put her right back down. It was hard at first but now she is 10 weeks and ok. She'll even watch Between the Lion and Reading Rainbow in her rocking chair without a peep.

Answer 5

Crying it out is the answer. I have a 2 month old. Here is what I started doing yesterday after snack feeding him for weeks and letting him have his way: put him down in his bassinet for a nap. He cried for hours like you say in your question. I went to him every so often to calm him down but DID NOT pick him up. I tried the pacifier a couple of times but he was too upset to take it. I just kept on doing this. Usually during the day he would sleep in his swing but he will be going to daycare soon and I need to teach him to sleep on a flat surface. It may take some time but eventually the baby will get tired of crying. Mine fell asleep in the bassinet on and off yesterday but the real cool thing is that I found I went through less bottles. When he was awake and crying I just let him and if he was awake and not crying I didn't automatically go to the bottle. It takes patience but you have to try tummy time, a swing, a play mat and doing other things to keep her interested. We just talked to our doc yesterday about all of this stuff. He said to let them cry it out. My baby just doesn't sleep much during the day and you may experience the same with the baby you are watching. If your emotional or mental health is at stake, don't be afraid to let her cry. She should be able to sit by herself. It is important that grandpa is on the same page when the baby is at home so as not to confuse her.

Answer 6

Poor little thing! I agree that you cannot spoil this aged baby. She is having anxiety separation issues. (I sound like an expert, sorry, I'm not) That seems pretty obvious to me. She needs attention, more than your son. I'm not saying ignore him, please don't get me wrong. What I mean is, he is secure enough to be less needy than she because you being his Mom, is near. Her Mom is not and she misses her. Try a sling so she will be close to you. Have her in a stroller and talk to her, sing, hold and rock her whenever you can. I wouldn't have the courage to try looking after 2 young uns by myself though, so good for you! and lots of luck!!

Answer 7

First of all, it's impossible to spoil a baby that young. Studies have shown that babies younger than 6 months of age don't have the ability to reason.

Second, I don't know what to tell you other than your son should be your number 1 priority, so maybe you shouldn't watch this little girl if she's going to command all of your attention.

Answer 8

my twins did the exact same thing... except it was my babysitter who did the spoiling...I obviously couldn't hold them both all of the time so I HAD to break them of this. What I did was I weened them off of being held, it was a long process but it worked... first I would rock them until they were just about asleep then I would put them down and pat their butts to sleep, then I would put them down and pat their butts to sleep and then I only did that when they seemed to be fighting it... now 2 months later they both go to sleep by themselves and I had to advise the babysitter of what I was doing so that she wouldn't keep ruining it for me. Lastly, she may just like the tightness of being held so you can also wrap her in a blanket really tight...that way your killing two birds with one stone she's warm and snug and you'll get something done!! lol Mine for the first two months that was the only way they would fall asleep!!! GOOD LUCK! :) AND TO THE MOTHER JUST ABOVE ME YOUR KIDS ARE THE ONES WHO EVERYBODY THINKS ARE ANNOYING AND WHO BREAK ALL OF THE RULES BECAUSE THEY ARE.... SPOILED....YEAH.... SORRY TO BE SO BLUNT.... BUT GET OVER IT

Answer 9

You apparantly cannot take on the responsibility of your own baby, and someone else's. You should drop the babysitting job, because it sounds to me like you are more interested in your own child. It's not a bad thing, but it also at the same time isn't fair that you are blaming a tiny baby for being spoiled. I feel like you don't like this baby. Quit this job please so they can hire someone more capable of CARING for their child.

Answer 10

Wrap her snug in a blanket and put her in a carseat and cover the car seat this might take her awhile to get used to but it will work i did this with my second child and she slept in her carseat until her feet were hanging way over the the edge. It makes them feel more secure like in the mothers womb. good luck!!!

Answer 11

It will be difficult, you will have to lay her in her bed and shut the door. Let her cry for a while, go in give her some loves and lay her back down. She will eventually cry herself to sleep. Soon she will get used to it. Her parents are going to have to help with this, they can't hold her till she falls asleep at home, because everything you will be doing will be a waste of time. Good Luck!