I am currently in Iraq, I have been married for going on 4 years and I have 2 beautiful baby boys.. They are 2 and 3 years old.. I called home the other day and my wife told me that she wasn't happy being married to an army man.. She said that she is tired of worrying every day if I am dead or not.. How can she just up and forget about someone that she was married to for 4 years??
2006-06-16 00:44:26 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am so sorry to hear about your divorce.The only thing I can think of is the stress of being a military wife and acting as a single parent has become to much for her to handle.You can suggest that she seeks counseling before going through this but in your situation its hard to have an control over the situation.
2006-06-16 00:48:55 · answer #1 · answered by rachellynn200 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Let your chaplain know what is going on. Have some of the other spouses contact her to see if she needs anything. She could be feeling overwhelmed. And she could just be having slight mental break down with taking care of the kids by herself.
See if there is someone who can go and visit her and your kids for a week or so.
I think it is very unfair for people to say that she may be having an affair, they don't know and with 2 small children to kept control of I am sure she doesn't have the time for it. I am SURE she is DRAINED of energy right now. Let her know how much you love her and the kids.
And for another military spouse to call another military spouse a b---h is unacceptable!!!!
Taking care of a 3 and 4 year old by yourself is DRAINING. ( my oldest 2 are only 18 months and 2 days apart) You get no breaks, no time to yourself. Then when they get sick....she has a lot of her plate.
Like I said, Have people at your home unit go and check on her, the chaplain. See if family can go and visit her and your kids.
But most of all she needs to know that the deployment will pass....
2006-06-16 05:02:20 · answer #2 · answered by shop4tots 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get so sick when I hear about women who spend all the money and then up and leave right before their spouse returns. It's so awful.
I don't know what state you're stationed out of but most require you to file for separation first and the time you've been in Iraq won't count. I don't know what that does for you but I thought I'd mention it.
I wish you the best and I'm sorry to say this but your wife is a b***h. Honestly, the majority of the time when it happens here (I live in a town with four marines bases) the woman met someone else. If that's the case, it'll help you to get custody of your boys.
Good luck and God bless.
2006-06-16 01:51:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the true AXIS of Evil! Sorry baby. Remember that time heels ALL wounds. Try to be strong. She is going through a hard time and was having an awful day. You just stand on your square as a husband and father as diligently as you do fighting that war, sweetheart. REMEMBER how coniving the enemy is that you face daily? Well the devil hates marriage as much as Bush hates Bin Laden. Imagine that battle and you fight just as hard. It will be worth it in the end. It is not over, it is part of a hard process. God is on your side and we are on the side of your marriage staying together. Tell her to believe that you will come home and tell her to remember her wedding vows, the most prevelant one being for better and for worse...she promised to stick in there. I'm praying for you. You know the answer to the question. Be the strong man that you are and know that it is WRONG to divorce or give in to a divorce and that it is right to rest assured that things will work out and you will return home alive and well to your wife and kids one day soon. You've got to believe, Soldier!
With Love
2006-06-16 01:14:15 · answer #4 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is very sad. Unfortunately, many spouses "love" the idea of being married to a military person until the $hit hits the fan. She knew what you did for a living when she married you and had your children. At this point I am sure that there is nothing you can do. Keep your head up, continue to love your beautiful children and come home safely. God Bless You and Thank You!
2006-06-16 01:09:16 · answer #5 · answered by squashpatty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I am sorry to hear that. Coming from a fellow grunt everything will work out soldier. Keep your mind on the mission, the task at hand. She is just just worried and scared. Hang in there, keep your head high and your *** low. Make it home safe(hooah). I am leaving in Aug for 18 months deployment and leaving behind a wife and four little boys. Believe me I can understand how you are feeling. This is my wifes post but I seen this and thought I would give my thoughts. Good Luck!!
2006-06-16 01:01:30 · answer #6 · answered by jennifer f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Soldier !
Please understand that not every woman can be an" Armywife",and during time of war,many of them give up on the marriage,simply because it is easier that way than to live everyday with the idea of becoming a widow.My husband spent 20 years in the army and i had to send him off to a warzone several times,it is one of the most difficult things i ever had to do in my life,and while you guys are gone,it is a silent war within us every day trying to make it thru each day and night.
It is wrong for your wife to do this over the phone,but please ,as hard as this must be for you right now,keep your focus on what you have to do over there right now 'cause we want you to come home safe and sound.Once you get back home,things might just work out a bit different than they look right now.
You are in my Prayers!
HOOAAH !
2006-06-16 01:50:48 · answer #7 · answered by sabine_white 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Despite the fact I am completely opposed to the reasons for the invasion of Iraq, I feel really bad for you. it's bad enough that you are, I'm sure, trying to do a great humanitarian job of turning Iraq into a viable democratic country and I hope you succeed and the iraqis get a peaceful prosperous nation. But to have this on top of all the hatred you may be subjected too as well must be overbearing.
I only hope you have not been contaminated by Depleted Uranium as well. Ask her to go to councelling and forward your concerns to your chiefs of staff and Don Rumsfels (for all the good that will do).
I hope your President is impeached for his actions and tried for war crimes, but I Hope you find a decent outcome to your troubles. Your spouse is being harsh. show some understanding, but they need to get a grip.
2006-06-16 00:55:58 · answer #8 · answered by kenhallonthenet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find she is absolutely right to want to divorce you. She's under stress all the time, she's always worried , she's being a mother and a father to your babies and she wants a real life with areal husband, who will sleep next to her at night and wake up with her in the morning. What's wrong wioth that. Of course she will still care for you, you're the father of her children, but if she leaves you she will be able to abstain herself from all the worring. Of course she should have thought of all that before she married you, but you cant blaim her for wanting to have the fater of her children and the man she loved and married next to her and not to Iraq fighting a stupid war!
2006-06-16 01:00:20 · answer #9 · answered by metafrastria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a military spouse myself, I would suggest you suggest she speak to the Chaplain. I can understand how she feels when you guys are away but I think she needs to reconsider what she wants to do. If she speaks with someone they may be able to help her throught this period and give her some advice on how to cope with the worry. There are a number of groups that provide assistance for spouses who feel the same way as she does. We all have the same fears when you guys are away but she did know what she was getting into when she married someone in the military. She also needs to think about your boys and how her actions will affect them.
2006-06-16 00:57:57 · answer #10 · answered by MsMi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋