Can you help me understand bisexuality?

Question

I have several female friends who are bisexual. I understand women are more sensitive and deeper, seeing less superficial qualities, than men. I easily understand the physical attraction of women. By knowing these women well and through in-depth discussions, I realize where they're coming from in their female relationships from a mental, emotional and physical aspect. But they've tried to explain to me the power exchange dynamics that occur between them and that I don't get. But above all that, I cannot understand how a woman can be attracted to both sexes or switch back and forth--no matter what great qualities the person may have. I've searched the deepest recesses in my mind and I have no feelings for other men--there is no physical attraction there. Guess that's why I'll never get that aspect.

Thanks to all. Blueowlboy especially did a great job of offering a logical explanation; however, since we have to choose an answer, what did it for me was Irishbifemale’s “I don't even know myself how to explain the way I feel ,or how I can feel, for both men and women, I just do. I can't help it” came from her soul.
That said to me that generally women are more emotional and nurturing whereas perhaps men are more sexual and supportive.

Answer 1

The reason you will never find attraction to men is because your straight. Bi sexual is the same as being gay or straight, its a sexual orientation, we just are this way. I don't even know myself how to explain the way I feel ,or how I can feel, for both men and women, I just do. I can't help it, sometimes I don't understand it, but it's the way I am and the way I'll always be.

Answer 2

I don't know if I can help you understand it. Many people, even bisexual people, don't understand it, but just accept it. In the interest of full disclosure, I am gay... way gay, in fact.

Many people expect something to be just one thing or the other: land or water, male or female, homosexual or heterosexual. It isn't easy to understand things fall "between the cracks." That's why bisexuals rarely find complete acceptance in either the gay or straight communities.

And, there are varying degrees of bisexuality -- rarest of all, apparently, is the "perfect balance" of equal amounts of feeling for and attraction to both sexes.

I think (and I have dated some bisexuals in my time) that it's a matter of what feels right at the time -- like food. Some days I HAVE to have Asian... Others, fried chicken is the only thing. I don't know what causes me to have a particular craving or desire, it just happens. For bisexuals, something just happens to click with another person and it can express itself as attraction, romance, or sex. Sometimes, they may feel a particular craving that can only be filled by a person of one sex or the other.

You don't have to have a physical attraction to men to understand why someone would be attracted to one. You hope that women will be attracted to you, don't you? Have you ever thought about why? Not that you need to do so, and there may be no real answer other than because you're a man (which is not to say you don't have other nice qualities -- after all, you seem like a sincere guy).

But there is something in you that is only attracted to women -- just as for strictly heterosexual women, there is something that attracts them only to men. Who knows why... it just happens. I would say, don't worry so much about trying to understand it... just accept it. If you worry, you'll get wrinkles.

The whole "power exchange dynamic" is just a way of finding a justification -- leathermen do the same thing, couching their feeling in a phrase (that phrase, in fact) rather than saying, "I just like leather."

Answer 3

If anyone knew that answer they'd be famous. Kinsey the pioneer of scientific studies into human sexuality and even he didn't claim to have the whole picture. It's just a mystery why one person is attracted to another sex, person, or both sexes. It's probably a mix of different factors that vary from person to person. I don't even think that understanding what makes someone attracted to someone else is the most important thing to keep in mind, rather I think just remembering that they're still a person and that for all our differences we're more alike than not.

Answer 4

well, first of all it's more socially acceptable for a woman to be attracted to other women. i've know men who are completely homophobic, but would love to see two women together.

taking that into concideration, an open-minded, free-willed woman can allow herself to be attracted more easily to ppl who have characteristics that she finds sexy, whether it's a man or woman. this is much more difficult for men, unfortunately, due to the social stigma our society burdons male/male relationships with.

as far as "power exchange dynamics", i'm not really sure. i think that can happen between any two ppl who love, care, and are strongly attracted physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally to each other; not simply two women, but anyone. i've had this experience with both men and women, but i do think it's more rare with men simply because they are more guarded with their emotions.

Answer 5

Speaking as a bi-woman, I do not see gender as a reason to love or not love someone. I look for the loving characteristics of a person's being. The way the person is inside. The true, heart-felt passion in a person's soul.

Answer 6

ofcourse you would not understand, first of all you're straight! second you are not them and they are not you. I mean, theres no such a person could really explain who you really are than your self. And not all the time you could understand all the peoples doing around you. just open your mind and dont judge them based on what you see on them. I understand you because curiousity bring us to the question that could hardly explaine.

Answer 7

Bisexuality is simple. Bisexuals simply see gender as lower on the list of what they find necessarry to be attracted to someone else. For most heterosexuals, it's top on the list. The lower on the list it is, the more evenly bisexual you are.

Answer 8

What is there to understand? We are attracted to both sexes.