what do you think of these poems??

Question

go to:
http://allpoetry.com/poets/perplexed-broken

plz read um all and tell me what you think of each.

Answer 1

I read one of your poems very carefully. It's clear from the comments on your website that your writing makes contact with a lot of people who suffer in ways that are similar to you. I hope that you keep on writing! I wonder if you might be able to reach a broader audience by expressing some things in fewer words and just letting the poem express itself through its images and through just a few carefully selected emotional statements. I'm no poet, but I did think that the first lines of your poem could be tightened up. See what you think of the following. Something I don't do is to make much use of repetition, of internal rhymes (rhymes within lines) or near-rhymes--all of which I expect could be powerful techniques for you. Another thing that it might be interesting to do in this particular poem: you draw a strong line between the speaker and the reflection. When they are talking and interacting, might there sometimes be a sense of their switching roles in relation to one another? If so, does that help the speaker to feel any better about herself? Best of luck, be good to yourself, and keep writing!!

That leering girl with bloated eyes
Why do I look in the mirror, why with my friends do I smile?
These lips are fake this mouth is fake,
You can put whatever you want in them.
I drank vodka but it was fake too, the girl in the mirror couldn't see it
she just sneered while i cried my invisible tears my invisible drunken drink
But the knife was real and silver like glass that first drew ruby beads to that thin skin:
This is beauty, red ruby lipstick beauty
And the best part is, there is always more.
(As every woman knows, the techniques of beauty can always be improved.)
And so I perfected the razor and the wrist,
And rubies ran to crimson rivers
pooled instead of tears on the white tiled floor,
Springs flowed in its grout....

Answer 2

all of them are very good