What should I tell my 13-year-old daugher when her strung out on meth dad lies to her over and over again?

Answer 1

I think you should keep this child away from that man. This could damage her psychologically. Get her some help, drugged up parents are NEVER fun. Explain to her that adults sometimes say things they don't mean, and how daddy is having problems right now. I know she is thirteen, and at that rebellious stage. She might know more than you think she does, and might be more understanding. This is the real world, and not everything is as perfect as we like to imagine. Keep her near, tell her how much YOU love her, how YOU will always be there to love her. She might want to talk about it, and in that case, do so. It's better to have hardships out in the open, than bottled inside. I know without my sister, I couldn't have gotten through the hard times. Sometimes all you need is someone to tell you they love you!!God bless you

Answer 2

Speaking from experience with my nephew, Don't bad mouth the dad. I spoke bad of my brother to my nephew. My nephew doesn't care what's wrong with him. He just wants to know why his dad was not there. I now tell him that his dad needs sometime to think and will come back into his life. Only you and I should know the eventually part. Don't tell the child the dads problem as the are grown up issues. Don't bad mouth him or the child would think you would bad mouth them when they do something wrong. We are all entitled to our mistakes even if it hurts other in the process. Just tell the child he said he would come or call. You and I know it maybe today, tomorrow or never. Let the child come up with their own opinion. Just be their to pick up the pieces and listen, just listen without bad mouthing the dad. Just take her out and just focus on your good time you are having at the moment. The will remember how great you are then.

Answer 3

Your going to have to tell her that her father is sick and he doesan`t believe he is.At 13 she is not capable of understanding the terrible grip that drugs can have on a person and the destructive life it creates.I hate to say this but you are going to have to protect her from him being able to hurt her emotionally.She will believe him because he is her father and she will in time blame herself for the pain she is feeling and the cycle could repeat itself.Do not alienate her father,this is difficult but you need to protect her and slowly tell her he does things wrong that he does not understand himself and do not think you are the cause.He has a serious problem and the family should intervene and stop the addiction.He needs to get clean.I`m so sorry for your difficult situation.Good Luck!
Do not listen to these people telling you to hate.Your daughter will suffer more than he will in the long run.He needs to know that either he stops with his family's support or he has a decision to make about being able to hurt his family anymore.If you handle this correctly with the help of professionals your family can grow stronger.Get some numbers to call tonight from the net.You can search for addiction clinics in your area.He needs to stop,stop now or his contact must be slowly stoped.He needs to be made aware of the horrible risk to his family he is taking.this is serious shi*t Talk to professionals NOW!

Answer 4

Unfortunately for your daughter, she has been put in a situation that she must face some of lifes realities a bit earlier than normal.

You have no choice but to be honest with her. If you lie and try to cover up what he is doing to save her feelings, then you run the risk of her believing that dad is this great guy who is just getting the worst breaks in life. And in this case she will never believe that he would do anything wrong, and only feel sorry for him and she will become his champion when he is forced to face society and its rules.
By being honest with her, you are telling her that you know she is old enough to handle the truth, that this is something that she needs to know because it is something that you want her to avoid, and that you know that the things that her dad are telling her are either not true or, in the case of when he says that he is going to do something, that they wont happen and you don't want her to be hurt when they do not happen.
You want her to know that while what her dad is doing is wrong, that you know he loves her and that maybe one day he will realize what the drugs he is doing are making him miss out on, and that maybe one day he will be better and will be the dad to her that you both know he can be. ( I know you don't want to talk good about her dad, cause you probably really loathe him, but remember he is her dad, and she loves him, so the nice things that you say about him are not for him, but for her cause it will be harder for her to talk to you about him if she thinks that you hate him, so say something positive about him - for her sake.

Answer 5

Firstly, you must insure you tell your daughter how much you love her (reassurance).

Go for a walk, taking a mother/friend position and just gently advise that it was just diagnosed that her dad is a bit sick. Explain that this is not a killer decease so he will live for long time (!) but there is something happening to his brain and she must not be hurt but be happy that he will be alive for a long life: with an exception that she constantly lies as he does not remember what he said before so he need to justify that he never said it etc etc.. (such as split personality). After all, this is mental decease so you will not be lying to her. But then you must insure you will ALWAYS tell her the truth as she will have one stable and honest parent no matter what it takes. Child needs a stability and you will need to offer her.

Answer 6

You don't need to tell her that he's on meth if you don't want to, but I would sudgest honesty. It hurts at first, but you both might be able help him get help. My family had kinda the same problem with my sister-in-law, who recently passed away from a drug overdose. And we had to find a way to explain to her son for several years why his real mom didn't come to see him, like she promised. We just told him that she was too sick, and didn't know when or if she would ever get better.

Answer 7

Why is her strung out on meth dad in contact with her at all??? Call the courts, get his rights taken away, and his a** thrown in jail! She'll be plenty angry, but let her know that YOU didn't do it to him, HE did it to himself, and to her. She's a teenager, so she'll be moody. Just be prepared. Do the right thing, though, and she'll respect you more when she's an adult.

Answer 8

Your daughter is not stupid and she probably already has an idea that something is wrong. It is most important that u explain to her that it is not her fault.. children tend to take responsibility for things that are going wrong in the parental relationship.. ask her if she feels something is amiss and then let her decide what the best course of action should be.. You choose to accept it as an adult, knowing human fault.. she does not have to..she is developing as a person and her boundaries are most important.

Answer 9

She is old enough to understand what is going on. Just be honest with her about her dad - she needs to know what drugs do to a person. Tell her the truth and when he does lie to her she is already going to have an idea that what he is saying is a bunch of crap.

Answer 10

Tell her "I'm sorry honey for your dad's actions. He loves you but he has a crummy way of showing it." Remind her of how much YOU love her and anyone else that is a positive influence in her life. You may explain to her, without explicit details, that he is ill and it makes it hard for him to keep his promises. It doesn't excuse his actions, but it might cushion her to know that he isn't a reliable dad. When she get's older you may then decide to explain more.

I'm sorry you have a crappy father for your child. I have friends in very similar situations and there isn't an easy way to let your kid know their dad is a deadbeat. I hope he may one day come to his senses. But I wouldn't count on it. Meth is as bad as heroin. It's a nasty drug to get caught up in. My sympathies go out to you.