My question is for parents who have had or have now kids 10 and up.? (About bedtime)?

Question

When did you allow them to stay up when you went to bed?

I have 4 kids ages 6y,7y,10y, & 14y.

I still don't allow any of my kids to stay home alone.
They go to bed at 8:30 school nights and 10 other nights.

Since summer vacation started today, the older two keep bugging me to let them stay up longer.
But I have said no, because I don't like to go to bed if my kids are awake.

Answer 1

Letting the oldest two stay up a few times might be a good way for you to see if they are ready to be trusted alone sometimes.

This way you are still at home if something happens, and they have two heads to put together to figure out any problems plus my 10yr old and 14 yr old would be the first to rat each other out so I would know the next day if anything happened.

I definately think you do need to let the 14 year old start to earn some trust with you. Start small then you can both feel proud of the milestones.

Count your blessings that theese are the worst of your problems lol. You must be raising a very good family :))

Answer 2

ok, at least let them stay up at about 10, 11:30 at the latest for the 10 and 14 year olds and 9-10 for the younger ones, during summer vacation. im 11 and i usually sleep between 11-11:45 on other nights and around 9:30 on school nights.

if you dont like them awake while you're not, at least explain what the older kids can and cannot do. you should either get the youngsters to go to bet first, or the the more responsible older kid to watch over the young ones. if either the older or younger kids do something wrong, one of the others will usually tell you (usually the younger sibling).

Answer 3

I have two daughters ages 18 and 15 now, but when they were younger, we did basically the same times that you are doing except on weekends, we allowed till 11, now that they are older, on school nights it is 10, and on weekends as late as they want, but 99% of the time they are asleep before midnight. Rarely did we ever go to bed before they did, but if we did, we never had any issues with them being awake, as they got older. Now that summer is here, they can go to bed when they want, but they also know not to leave the house, or open the doors or anything. Not sure if this will help, but it is all about trust. Good Luck.

Answer 4

You sound like a caring and well planned parent. You're kid's should not be up after u are asleep. They can watch inappropriate TV, sneak out, sneak others in, and do a lot of other things u probably don't want them to do.

Maybe u should explain to them that they can stay away in their beds and read or quietly listen to music. Also, it keeps them on schedule and return of school will be easier for you and them. But that's plenty. I'm assuming you go to bed early so that u can get up for work. They should be able to understand this.

And you shouldn't let them stay at home alone, just yet. There's plenty of time for that. When your oldest is 16 that will be a much better time.

I'm a teacher and I wish more parents would put this much thought into their children's well-being. I would make my job much easier.

Answer 5

I've got three boys, 23y 10y and 6y. The oldest one has his own family, so I just have the younger two. They go to bed at 9 on school nights, and 10 on Fridays and Saturdays. I agree with one of the other answerers; build up some trust with your oldest child, then the others will follow suit.

Answer 6

It all depends on whether or not you trust your kids or not. If they get into trouble or like causing trouble then I would agree with you. But if they can be trusted and they know that you have limits and they do what you ask of them and they are smart enough to do what's right then staying a little later may be OK. Also Once you have gained trust and good communications with them then your worries should be lessened. I like this quote which has a lot of meaning and maybe you might know where I got it from,

"Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Pr22:6)

Answer 7

iHey dad it is summer vacation let them enjoy it. I know what u mean about not liking to go bed when they are wake but u just need to lay down some rules and have them to understand them. The younger ones u can keep them at the normal time or let them stay up 30 mins later. 10 and 14 cut them some slack and give them a chance and see what happens

Answer 8

Sorry to say this ivy... BUT at 10 I was staying up until the early hours of the morning. without my mum . I used to read and write and the stuff that little girls do. It wont kill them to stay up late on night a week.
I have an idea. If the keep asking you to let them stay up, do it and let them stay up real late and then wake them up at the usual time in the morning, they will then see that it isnt cool to stay up late.

Answer 9

just to let you know that at 14 they should be and allowed by law to stay a home by themeselves you should losen up alittle bit if you know you raised them up well then you should trust them to go to bed earlier. If you don't give that freedom right now they will break away hard from you and you'll be sorry

Answer 10

8:30!!!!???? me and my sisters (5,8 and including me 10) go to bed at 9!!!!!!! u r really srict! lossen up a bit! since summer started, let them stay up longer!