Ok i have been married 12 yrs , left him 4 years ago for 3 months and came back to give him a chance, only planned on staying 1 1/2 months if it did not work. Needless to say i was going on my 1st interveiw after returning to the state our home is in , ended up in a bad accident that then caused over 1 1/2 years of surgery so i was in not condition to leave, even though our issues never resolved, then just when i was about to head out again due to this i found out after we were told 10 years earlier we would never have children, i was pregnant, we actually had no fights til our son was born and now it's 3 years later and i can not take anymore of this, as yes i did cheat on him which is what started it all and i do understand why he is mad and unforgiving about this issue, but hear me out. I forwarned him he was not giving what i wanted in marriage , someone to come to bed with me nightly not just when conveinent. It's killing my self esteem , and i have no support from family.
2006-06-15 17:58:17 · 20 answers · asked by foxzkat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
haz
2006-06-16 08:35:33 · answer #1 · answered by oliiana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are in somewhat of a mess!! No i'm not trying to be funny but after reading that it does enlighten me. The marriage went stale right? Did you anad hubby sit down and talk about it? Having an affair was by far the worst thing you could have done. I'm sorry but i have no sympathy for people that sleep with others because their relationship dosn't appear to be going anywhere. What happened to good old fashioned talk?
Then you left and came back? well i think that fate put you back there-- although you had an unfortunate accident, but that was the last straw for hubby. And not forgetting the child in all of this- Watching you two fighting not good. If he cheated on you would you be so forgiving? You need to try counselling other than that one of you has to leave be adult enough to make arrangements for your son and move on
2006-06-15 19:42:19 · answer #2 · answered by Scatty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2015-01-28 12:13:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-22 11:44:15 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you cheat on him to begin with if i may ask? You need to ask him to forgive you for the affair you had and if you are not sorry then divorce him and set the poor guy free. What you did to him in this marriage is wrong and you need to be the one to help try and save and work on it. Seek marriage counseling and help with your husband. If you dont want the marriage then set the poor guy free so he can find someone who will love and stay true to him! I think the reason why there is no support from family then maybe it is because of what you have done to the marriage. I am not trying to be mean i am just being honest with you! You do need to ask him for forgiveness though for what you have done to this and to this marriage and in divorce i think it is 50 50. You made the choice to be unfaithful and untrue so now you have to be prepared to face the consequences for your bad choices. I am here if you need to talk!
2006-06-16 01:11:44 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you actually love this guy! You've given him a chance before and he has obviously given you a second chance too. You have been given the gift of having a child when you didnt think it possible. He has supported you though your injuries and is still around. Talk to him about coming to bed with you nightly if thats what you want. Maybe he needs to know that you want him to him to be there.
2006-06-16 04:39:17 · answer #6 · answered by natstar36 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. It's not easy but worth it in the long run. I left my husband after 28yrs of marriage and nobody could understand why. I was sick of giving everythig to my marriage and getting nothing in return. Life is too sort to be unhappy and the people that matter will be there for you. The ones that dont you can live without. Good luck.
2006-06-15 20:42:50 · answer #7 · answered by carrie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will probably only lose half of them. I was in a similar position once, it takes time to sort things out but I told myself that it was the start of my new life. Things have worked out well for me and if I was in a similar position again I would be even more excited as there is a lot of good people out there that can make you and your son happy again.
Good luck
2006-06-15 18:25:34 · answer #8 · answered by Paul J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest,it's got nothing to do with anyone (even your family) so if you're not happy then you should get out before you end up doing something you might regret! Explain to your family how unhappy he is making you and if they choose to jump on his side then they're not worth bothering about! Time's a great healer and before you know it everyone will accept it. Any decent family or friends will stick by your decision. I hope it works out for you.
2006-06-15 18:52:10 · answer #9 · answered by I know nothing! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are unhappy, get out! Trust me i have just come out of a similar marriage. For your marriage to work, your partner needs to forgive you for the affair, he will need time BUT if he continues to 'dig' it up, you will never be happy.
Would you rather your child grow up seeing mummy and daddy fighting all the time OR would you rather bring him up in a happy environment?
With regards to your family, its your life and you've got to live it, not them. Those who love you will stick by you, anyone who doesn't is not a true friend.
Good luck. Its not easy!
2006-06-16 23:38:11 · answer #10 · answered by snow.-.angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. You'll be fine, and anyone who doesn't support you isn't worth having in your life. You and your son will be fine without him, and you'll both be much happier. Don't waste another second of your life being unhappy. Just tell him you no longer want to be in the marriage and you'd like a divorce.
2006-06-15 18:48:12 · answer #11 · answered by smurfette_au2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋