My husband doesnt want to have sex and is never loving anymore.?

Question

My husband and i have been married a year come this july and have a 8 month old child. As the typical relationship...yeah we were all over each other in the beginning. It died down. Then it turned into me not really ever being in the mood. Seeing how my labido went to hell after popping out a kid. But now its back. And just recently he just went off telling me how its been 8 months and im still not skinny enough. Sex is not enjoyable more or less for him..."do kiegals!!!". I have been working on losing weight...its always been for me, not him. And now i feel like im not doing it for myself anymore. But to save a relationship. I feel so unloved. Like im just here to get him off. This morning he asked for head. Ive had a really sore throat...so no. Then it goes straight to can i have anal. He wants nothing to do with pleasing me. And on top of that we dont see each other very much because of work as it is. When im around him hes just nasty. Hes in a bad mood so everything i do is wrong.

Answer 1

Steph,

I'm sorry to hear how things are turning out. Someone earlier said you need to copy & paste this question and send it to him. Basically I agree. Marriage takes work - sometimes a lot of work.

I wouldn't pretend to know how your relationship was before the pregnancy, but a lot of marriages struggle when the mad, passionate sex starts to subside.

I think it is time you got these issues out in the open in a non-threatening way - not during a fight. Many couples deal with similar issues - a pro might be a lot of help. If that isn't practacle, you might start off by being more up-front with him. Tell him what is on your mind and ask him to do the same.

You might be surprised by his answers. Hopefully, you will both reach a better understanding of each other. It is sometimes tough for a guy to be "involved" but it is a legitimate need you have and one he needs to work to fulfill.

He has needs too, do what you can. My guess is that he will be more receptive to working to please you if he senses you are making a concerted effort to do the same.

Also, recognize that you both are under a lot of stress. Marriage, a new baby, job, etc. It is a to deal with. You also need to ask him some hard questions about your weight. Is his love for you conditional on your appearance? If so, what happens when you get old?

Well, good luck.
C

Answer 2

Talk to him and tell him how you feel!! Be honest and open with him. Try spicing things up in the bedroom for him with new ideas and posistions. By whipped topping and have fun! Take a nice long bubble bath with him and just talk and communicate! give him a nice full body massage. Dress sexy for him in and out of the bedroom! Buy some flavor and give him oral tonite or in the morning and surprise him with that. Does he give you oral at all? Doe exercises with him and walk... See if he is open to that. Try a diet of fruit and salads and chicken! Eat lighter but yet healthy. I would also talk to your doctor about this too. Are you breast feeding your baby? If so drink lots of low fat milk and orange juice is good too! I am here if you would like to talk more! You also may need to go to a sex therapist with him or marriage and relationship counseling! I wish you the best and I will be praying for you and you marriage! http://www.marriagetoday.org

Answer 3

I think maybe you both need to go see therapists because hes got some major issues to work out. There is nothing wrong with you but you both need to get it straightened out and he needs a serious attitude adjustment.Make him realize that you are one of a kind and that hell never find anyone else as good as you.Good luck.

Answer 4

Your husband is a jack... . It shouldn't matter how you look, if he really loves you. He must have always been a selfish bast... . People don't just turn this way. He probably is jealous of all the attention that the baby demands. Some men just can't grow up! Good luck! I would learn to masterbate!

Answer 5

you should copy and paste your question into an e-mail and send it to him. He's your HUSBAND now, not just some guy, you should be able to talk to him and tell him how you feel. He married you, he loves you, talk to him.

Answer 6

THE THRILL MUST BE GONE, THE WEIGHT HAS GOT TO BE A PROBLEM, I DONT KNOW ANYONE WHO IS FAT OR CHUNKY WHO IS HAPPY WITH IT, IF YOU DONT LIKE IT HE PROBABLY HATES IT. LEAVE AND SNEAK OUT TO THE GYM AND LET HIM COME CHASING AFTER YOU

Answer 7

well u guess need to get together and have a long talk or go to your preacher. and get some personal help.