can you name any jokes?

Question

i can

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Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

A. He wanted cold hard cash!


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Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

A. "Is that you mommy?"


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Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

A. Frostbite.


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Q. How do crazy people go through the forest?

A. They take the psycho path.


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Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?

A. Cell phones.


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Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?

A. Spoiled milk.


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Q. Where do polar bears vote?

A. The North Poll


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Q. What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane?

A. ME!!!


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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?

A. In snow banks.


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Q. What's brown and sticky?

A. A stick.


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Q. Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?

A. Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!

Answer 1

Things to do in an elevator:

1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.

5) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day your day been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

9) Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, They open up again."

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.

18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, Got enough air in there?"

20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."

26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
passengers, "This is my personal space!"

27.) ask "excuse me, my butt itching, can anyone scratch it for me?" (you are holding things in your two hands)

28.) Turn against the wall and start talking to the wall.

29.) Look at your "invisivle" watch, and take your wrist and ask one of the people "Is this time right?"

30.) Start hummong really loudly like you are meditating "UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

31.) start doing jumping jacks.

32.) Look at your hand and say out load "woooooow, coool" and wave your hand at the people and say "isn't it wow and cool?"

33.) Sit on the floor and close your eyes, and start snoring really loudly.

34.) Look suddenly at the floor of the elevator and start screaming at the "invisible" squirrel.

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Answer 2

George W Bush

Answer 3

My niece simply bought braces and I pulled her card immediately. Nice face Brace face, and thank you for the relaxation Ironwoman, and Tinsel Teeth, and Metal Mouth. It's all in amusing and those persons we would not shaggy dog story with until they recognize we adore them and it is all in well humor. We do not have got to move postal over a few inisent braces jokes

Answer 4

Great ones!

There are thousands at the web sites, below. One of my favorites is:

What did the chicken say after she laid 100 eggs?

- "I'm eggs-hausted!"

HA!

Answer 5

How do you catch am unique rabbit?

A: Unique up on it.


I think that's cute. I call it Bob.

Answer 6

How do you a keep a turkey in suspense?

I will tell you tomorrow TURKEY!

Answer 7

ok i got one
Q: the person who makes it doesnt use it, the person who buys it doesnt need it, and the person who uses it doesnt know they're using it what is it?





A: a coffin!

Answer 8

You didn't name them...you just told us them. Therefore, you can't. ;)

Answer 9

lol You sure know your jokes...