how do I get my hubby interested in me? Instead of his friends?

Question

all he cares about is his friend's and his habits. How do I turn his attention back to me. ? I only want him and I'm getting lonely. we have kids. what should I do?

Answer 1

~Try getting interested in his friends yourself. Maybe he'll share. Depending on what his habits are, he may not be physically capable. But do keep the kids out of his stash.

Answer 2

Sit him down and put it all on the line. You have no right to be lonely in a marriage! That is the saddest thing I have ever heard. If you only want him then fight for him. It's going to be a hard battle. In my first marriage, my husband friends took first priority. I fought, and fought but it was a losing battle. He just did not love me enough to let go of his friends. However, I'm glad that I did everything in my power to save my marriage. That way I could walk away knowing that I had given it my all. It's time for you to do the same thing. Be honest, and put it all on the line. The kids, the loneliness, the friends, the habits, you only wanting him, not wanting to cheat or get a divorce...these are some serious issues, and if he really loves you, then these should grab his attention and make him shape up. Good luck, and may God bless. I hope that I was of some help.

Answer 3

Well, when you figure this out, let me know. I am a married housewife and mother of 4 kids ages 12 and under. Exactly this type of situation led to me cheating and us separatig for over a year. Take my advice and do NOT try it my way. You do NOT want that kind of attention. the best advice I can give is two fold. First, be open to getting involved and showing interest in the things he likes to do. Second, take an active role in planning things to do. Come up with your own. Say something like..."Ok, we can go fishing today but I would like to go see this new movie tomorrow". Maybe not exactly that but you get the idea. Provide alternative activities that you enjoy while at the very least participating in his interests even if you do not enjoy doign what he does. he probably won't like doign "your" things either but I bet he will be more willing to do it if you are doing his things. Interestingly enough, My hubby and I JUST had this arguement LAST NIGHT!!!! Go figure!

Answer 4

Get the communication going - talk to him and tell him how you feel and that you miss him. Try getting a sitter once a week, and then you two go out and do something fun, or maybe give the kids to grandma for a weekend and spend some time together at home alone.
The key is that you both need to spend time alone together - without his friends/your friends. You need to rediscover how much fun you have together and how much you enjoy eachother's company. You can even try going hiking or doing something out doors w/your hubby and the kids (if they are old enough).

Answer 5

First, you need to tell him exactly how you are feeling. Then let him tell you what's going on with him. After all is said between you. Try to suggest something that you could do as a family. If you miss his company; I'm sure the children do to.
After you start building the family unit up. Work on little alone time for the two of you. Maybe when you are about to go to bed. You don't necessarily have to have sex. You can cuddle, talk, a little lite massage. Build the relationship up. Give him a reason to have little time with his friends. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Try to plan together time with him. Don't expect him to sever contact with friends. If you can set up time with the two of you, you will re-connect and he will want to spend more time with you. When you are together don't make it all about chores or complaints. Thirdly, when he goes out with his friends, you do something. The worst thing a wife can do is sit home waiting for her man to return. You resent him for being gone and trust me no matter how hard you try to hide it the anger is there for him to see when he returns which is another way to push him away. Talk to him, say I am lonely, I don't want to infringe on your activities since they make you happy but can we plan a day or a few hours a week for just us. Then be sure if the plans fall through once in awhile don't get mad, try to reschedule. If you try all the above and it doesn't work consider that he isn't doing his job. A marriage takes two and you are ultimately responsible for each others happiness, if he is not trying to make you happy and satisfied in your life he is not doing his job. A marriage is about both of you, not just him. Hopefully he loves you and is smart enough to realize how important you are before its too late. Good luck!

Answer 7

If you have kids together, first discuss his relationship and quality time with the kids. Is he spending enough time with them? Then, mention some things you would like to do with him. For example, go on a dinner date with your husband.

Reconnect with your friends and family; you should always continue to do things that interest you. Although your husband is married, he is maintaining healthy friendships; you should do the same thing. Your husband will find you fascinating and interesting once he sees your independence and love of life, especially your ability to go out and have a good time without him.

Your happiness in life depends on you.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Sadnblu22 gave good advice..
I've been there and still going. There has to come a point when you have to focus on yourself and not expect anyone to make you happy. Get out, hang out with friends, even do something you've always wanted to do. I've always been interested in acting. So I'll be taking a workshop within the next few weeks.

Focus on yourself, make improvements to yourself and don't nag him.
Good luck!

Answer 9

the very first thing you do is to talk to him and tell him what you feel. when that has no effect, then find your own interest and and do things that you have always enjoyed and even find new and different interest. once he sees that your intrest are elsewhere, then maybe it will draw attention to his lack of attention to you, besides, you need to be able to entertain yourself, especiallly during times such as this. never make yourself so accessible to anyone. after you are unavailable enough times, then he will appreciate you more and the time that you two spend together. (other interest do NOT include having an affair)

Answer 10

I sure wish I knew the answer. That would be one of the reason why I left my hubby a week ago. That and we were living with his parents for 5 years. I also have kids,3.