How important is EMPATHY or 'Being Listened to' to you?

Question

When you are feeling low, do you feel an urge to vent out your emotions without being dispensed immediate advice?
Do your fear you're not being 'listened to' when you need it most?
Do people who you talk to over-empathise or not-at-all empathise when you talk about your emotions?
Please share your experiences...

Answer 1

Very important if it's someone that I love. If I give that to them they better give it back. I beleive in give and take. It's important to me, but sometmes you can't expect it from people who just don't care or who are selfish. Therefore, I would do that for them, but if they don't do it back I'll confront them or just never do it for them again.
When I'm upset I don't want to talk about it or "vent". I usually want to keep it to myself or tell no one. I often don't tell people anything about my life. But my boyfriend expects this from me. He usually forces it out of me and it ends up a fight because I get even more upset. He listens to everything I say. Even if it's nothing. I was always used to having no one to talk to or people that would make fun of me or not care. Usually my parents.
I don't fear not being listened to when I need it most since I was used to it when I was a kid. It was harder on me when I was a teenager and often became extremely frustrated and depressed. But I have learned that lesson of not expecting anyone to listen to you or care when you need it most. Now my boyfriend is here to listen and he has given me the confidence to open up. For me opening up to him, he talks to me about things he wouldn't normally talk about with anyone except his parents.

Answer 2

When I feeling low...
I guess sometime what I feel is not an urge to vent out my emotions, but it is a rather a desire to write it down for later review. Because my inner guide would advice me in an empathetic way, and I just write it down for him to read later.

Looking back my up bringing and even now, I noticed that I always to be ignored in most situations, no matter at school, at work or in the family. My voice seems go unheard. I don't know why and I don't bother to find out, I just get use to it with those who ignore me, including my biological parents. But there is an old couple I know for almost 5 years, thought we live half a world away, yet we emotionally close to each other and connected in some way. And I definitely fear that one day our connection would just cut off when they are no longer living. I guess that I am fear of not being listened to in some way.

I think I have some understanding of empathy, so I know when people are being empathetic or not. So far, people only show sympathy to me. Seems to me that they still have no clear knowledge of empathy - they think that they are being empathetic while being sympathetic.

I guess I won't share more of my personal experience, but if you are interested, please email me.

Answer 3

If I am venting emotions, I want a sounding board, not someone to resolve, solve, and save the day for me. Example: Work issues:
Had a bad day venting to husband , He can't solve my work problems, but I need him to just listen, and throwing in a poor baby, tomorrow's another day doesn't hurt to hear.
When talking to close friends about issues in care giving to elderly parents, or at one time a rebellious teenager, they could not only empathize but give me ideas on how to handle those problems, because they experienced them.
Fortunately I am lucky enough to be surrounded by people who do listen and hear me when I need it the most.

Answer 4

I only need a select few to listen to me -- I don't need the whole world to stop because I have a problem. These people include my mom (I'm 41) my sister and my husband. I also like my kids (they are older) to know something about what is going on so that they can give me the space I need to deal.

Answer 5

Well, I do need to talk when I'm stressed and I can with certain friends. I found with others, family included, I don't even finish my sentence when they're already talking. They haven't heard a word I've said, so I stopped telling them anything at all.