There's this guy at work that i really like. He doesn't know I'm gay. I've been holding it in for quite some time now. Some guys on here said that it was the best thing to do. So today I finally let loose and asked him out for drinks this weekend. Should I just let it all out this wekend or not? I might not get to go out with him again. He's straight and he has a girlfriend. I can't seem to move away from what I'm feeling coz he says the nicest things to me. Eg. "you have such a kind heart" or "I've never met anybody like you, you're the most sensitive guy I know", etc. I fee like I'm going crazy! Please help?
2006-06-15 12:52:56 · 14 answers · asked by overdude 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Hm...those aren't normal 'man to man' comments. Sounds like he may be having some feelings that he is confused about. As for telling him-I might wait. How do you think he would take it? Do you want to risk the friendship or do you have the 'all or nothing' mentality goin' on right now?
2006-06-15 12:57:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awww. :) Your so sweet! Why do all the good ones have to be gay??? lol My best friend was gay and I wanted him forever and I told him more then once! But he was cool about it.. This situation you might have to be more cautious of. I would say yes, pour your heart out to him, maybe he feels the same way if he says so many kind things to you everyday. But then again.. be careful because if things do blow up in your face you'll have to see him at work and it would be so awkward.. So maybe see what happens when your having drinks first. If he seems more into you then not, go ahead and take the chance. It's better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all. You may regret it big time if you don't. Sorry if I wasn't much help... Good luck!!!
2006-06-15 19:59:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is really not open to a relationship with a man, nothing you can say or do will change that. Besides, you wouldn't want a relationship where your partner felt strained or compulsed or put upon, would you? I know it's so hard, but you have to just try and move on to people who are interested in you as a more than a friend and keep this co-worker at a more casual level of friendship.
2006-06-15 20:29:29 · answer #3 · answered by oldwhatshername 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would advise u to play it safe by not letting him know for u'r liking for him and telling him that u r gay at the same time. First , on u'r drinks "thingi" just judge how would he react to news u r gay. And then subtely let him know u r gay. For a few days notice if u see a change in his behaviour. If not just quickly let him know that u have feelings for him. And be done with it.
Just make sure man, whatever happens don't let u'r moral come down. You r always capable of finding good guys, he might not "just" be the right guy.
But hope for the BEST
ALL THE BEST !
2006-06-15 20:01:53 · answer #4 · answered by Niki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most guys i have encountered do not say things like that to other men. my guess is that he has an attraction for you, that is only my guess, i would go out for drinks and see where the conversation leads outside of the work place..i am a lesbian who had a huge crush on my very married friend for a while, we started hanging out and she confessed to me her feelings and desire to leave her husband and be with me, she was married for ten years and had three kids,(so i would say that this guy you like having a girlfriend may not be all that important) we have been together for 7 years now, so yeah i would say go for drinks get to know each other more besides work conversation, see where it takes you..just be careful, there is always a chance of someone getting upset and out of hand..it's sad but alot of violence is directed towards gays...best of luck!
2006-06-16 03:35:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's hard to feel for someone who won't be attracted to you, I feel your pain. When I was younger, I was in love with a gay man and he knew it and he was so sweet to me but all we could ever have was a great friendship, which was better than nothing. I think you should do the same, if he is as great as you say friendship is better than nothing. Good luck to you, I'm sure you will find someone who is your perfect mate someday, just keep your chin up!
2006-06-15 19:57:46 · answer #6 · answered by prettypixie1997 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to take it SLOW. Slow down. I mean I don't agree with homosexuality but, I can give advice. You don't want to make it hard for you ... see how he feels about homosexuality and go from there. Don't push. That will be a HUGE mistake. Besides, he has a girlfriend ... you wouldn't want to take him away from a relationship. When that happens that same happens to you ... honesty is good. Just be friends with him.
2006-06-15 19:57:47 · answer #7 · answered by CuriousGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems you let the cat out of the bag now didn't you? I would just take it slow if your going for drinks with him and see how it goes first before you tell him how you feel
2006-06-15 19:56:56 · answer #8 · answered by preciousmoments1962 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go, go to a nice place -- have drinks I guess (I don't and have never drank, so I'm shaky on that part). Talk -- don't get drunk. Be his friend -- he may not be as straight as he seems BUT LET HIM DO ANY AND ALL MOVES.
Peace,
Reyn
2006-06-16 00:32:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you are pushing it. r u ready to accept the consequences of backlash?!! that he can't possibly even look at you at work when he found out that you are interested in him? How much do u really know about him? People react differently when it becomes personal......
2006-06-15 22:19:03 · answer #10 · answered by sstooc2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋