She used to be very active, but after our second child ... her interest is very seldom at the best
2006-06-15 12:40:29 · 39 answers · asked by Chris 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is horrible to say, but it happens to most women. She needs to know you aren't just one more person wanting something from her. She has to feel you truly care and you have to surprise her with your thoughtfulness and then take it slow. You might be having sex less but it could be better than it ever was.
I second that good-smelling man thing -- it really helps!!!
2006-06-15 12:44:47 · answer #1 · answered by swdMO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys need a serious talk. Go to the doctor. Go to a sex therapist. Don't wait to be married for 25 years and misserable.
There are medications to increase her drive.
She is probably overly tired by the demands of the kids and the house . Try this.pick an evening. Help her get the kids to bed. Help straighten up the house, get the dishes done. .......tell her you want to get it all done so to have some quality time with her.
There is a book called Sex Starts In The Kitchen. Not that is where to have sex. it means that women need to feel the chemistry not just in bed but during the day. Never stop seducing each other.
2006-06-25 20:28:29 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After the birth of my second child, I was totally wiped out from the demands of 3 people. I really needed a break from it all. Maybe what your wife needs is more time to herself and some help with the kids. Do you have someone who can take both kids for a weekend? It would be great if you two could get away for a couple of days. If two days isn't possible, even an evening out can help. It sure helped me.
2006-06-24 07:56:25 · answer #3 · answered by Garfield 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i have five kids so yes i know how she feels. women go through this phase when they have more than one child she's tired and it's not that she isn't interested in sex it's just that you need to understand we tend to the kids clean the house cook barely having anytime to pamper ourselves. we are drained by the end of the night we still love you very much. sometimes we dont feel sexy after a long day so thats where you come in stay with the kids send her to get a nice manicure pedicure then have dinner reservations book a room and have nice oils bubble bath and a bottle of her favorite drink to unwind massage her and before you know it she'll be in the mood. be romantic dine and wine her at least once a month everything else will fall in place. Good Luck!
2006-06-15 12:48:56 · answer #4 · answered by gia666@verizon.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will take awhile for her body to recover from birth. When a woman's hormones aren't functioning (birth control & meds also zap female juices), it's just not happening for them. Or is it you? Are you a source you'd go to (if you were her) for affection and/or sex? Do you mess w/ her when she's in a bad mood? Tired? After an argument? In short, are you inconsiderate? She might be getting used to the lame sex & she's not viewing you as a 'male' and a source for satisfication. Thinking you treat her like a blow up doll. No excuses. Let her know disappointing her would make you feel less of a man. Mean it!
2006-06-29 05:33:56 · answer #5 · answered by Ann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever thought of talking serious with your wife and not just be one sided about it? Obviously your not doing your job as a husband if she's lost sexual relations with her. Sit down alone on a quiet evening and talk it out. Caress her and let her know that you still love her and are wanting to know why she is being so cold to you. Hey! Remember...us guys make mistakes too, maybe you just need some correcting to bring the best out in your wife again.
2006-06-28 03:11:51 · answer #6 · answered by AL 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe right now she doesn't have time for anything but the babies. That is if she has small children.
Maybe if you show her a good time and get her away from the kids for a while she'll start feeling like her old self again.
Get someone to watch the kids and plan a night just for her. make her feel special again....
All women go thur it it just takes some longer to bounce back.
Good Luck
2006-06-15 12:45:30 · answer #7 · answered by ▒Яenée▒ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
romance her , throw hot n sexy words at her, make a surprise dinner for her, give her compliments on everything and anything. Pop-in your wedding video if you have one and tell her to come watcha movie with you...ummm if the kids arent around walk around naked with just an apron on lol.
Take your kids and have her go out to a spa to treat herself for the day, thats always a nice thing to do and maybe she'll be refreshed enough to want to have sex after..thats when you can get a sitter while she is gone and make dinner, fill a bath and play soft music....oh there is so much a man can do and a man has done all this for me in the past even though im always in the mood lol.
2006-06-27 06:01:47 · answer #8 · answered by apleasure2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely agree with all the women who have answered that a woman is more interested in sex when she feels you are interested in her. I also agree that this is pretty common for young mothers. We get worn out. If she is on birth control realize that any hormonal contraceptive can lessen sex drive. But there are things you can do. Ask yourself what you could do to make her life better and then go one step further by asking her what you could do to maker her life better. It might be something as simple as a quick shoulder rub before bedtime.
2006-06-29 08:18:48 · answer #9 · answered by BeccaBoo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do u show her how much u love her with kisses and hugs and by helping her out in the house or doing nice things for her and to her? well maybe she just needs to feel ur love more. maybe she thinks ur too interested in sex only and dont view her as ur partner, ur other half. remember all of those things u probably used to say to her when yall were just going out. strive for a deep sentimental connection not just physical so she maybe won't also feel just used. being loved is always good, wouldn't u agree?
well, there could be many reasons y she's acting this way. reasons that may be deeper than what u may think. maybe shes too tired of taking care of the kids cuz ur not.. idk wats going on in ur home but im sure u'll find out if u ask her. just let her know u want things to get better for both of u. never forget to communicate and UNDERSTAND (not just see ur views. be more open minded of her needs and come to a middle ground, pride and stubborness doesn't get u anywhere)
sorry if i sayed too much just trying to help :D
2006-06-26 17:52:01 · answer #10 · answered by sweetness_n_passion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best way is to get her interested in YOU again, not just sex. help with the kids so she isn't exhausted, if you are sitting on the couch waiting for her to get the kids to bed then thats your problem (many men make this mistake) then give her some time to relax and get out of mom mode, romance her and do the things you did to get her interest when she fell in love with you. remember that arousal for women happens much more in the mind than in the body. plus make sure you look good and smell good like you would've for a date, let her know that being with her is still something special.
2006-06-15 12:45:50 · answer #11 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋