How do some men deal with the mother of their child who is literally unbearable. Very arrogant and selfish?

Question

I have been to court and won custody. After having a soft spot for my son and his mother I decided to let my son stay with his mom. His mom however is very crude, vile, arrogant, ghetto, and acts like she still hasn't grown up. She tells me one thing and then her mother and her sister say another but she say's its nothing but a plot (easy to believe b/c the grandma used to be very conaiving and deceptive). IN any case my son is staying with me during the summer and I wanted to let him attend a summer day camp at YMCA to give him some extra curricular activities and to meet and mingle with kids his age. Mother is beligerant n very disrespectful constantly cursing n is saying that she doesnt want him to be in a program. She never lets him do anything to provide him with fun experiences so I'm told nor does she help with his HW from school...in any case she now refuses to send me important documents such as birth certificate and SS card to have me enroll him......how do some deal?

Answer 1

Dont keep in contact with her then. Only see your son when he is only with your ex or husband. Dont see or be around her alone ever! Talk to the courts about the papers and stuff and get things redone!

Answer 2

How often do you have him? If it's as bad as you say you might want to consider taking her back to court and getting custody. To get a birth certificate just go to your local courthouse and they will give you one. It usually costs $5 or $10. As for the social security, go to the office and fill out the papers. You should be able to get a copy of that too. If not, talk to a lawyer. You are the father and have a right to copies of all the important papers including report cards. Also, just sign him up for stuff anyway. We have my stepdaughter every other week and we signed her up for T-ball. She went every other week, but that's better than not at all. Good luck. We've been dealing with it for 3 years now and figure it won't end until they are 18. Yes, congrats on getting custody! My hubby got joint custody and we were really happy with that.

Answer 3

If you won custody then you have the upper hand legally. You can decide if he goes to YMCA camp etc. However, the reality is that she wants to make your life miserable for whatever reason. Best idea is to somehow convince her that it is her idea to send him to the YMCA Camp (and other activities) and that you are screwed because you have to pay for it all (I assume you don't mind paying). Anyway - she sounds like a miserable person who revels in your misery - so play that game: make her think you are miserable for sending him to YMCA camp, etc. Regarding the birth certificate - you can get it at the town hall where he was born (if you have ID proving you are the father on his birth cert). Not sure how to get SSN card - but assume he lost it and you need a new one - it is possible if you are his legal father. By the way congratulations on getting custody!

Answer 4

If you are on the birth certificate you have a right to have a copy. You can get that from the health department in the county your child was born. As for the SS card, I'm not sure about that. There has to be a way to go around her to get him enrolled in the camp. I think the camp would be a good idea.

Answer 5

well if you once had custody of the child why did you give it back, you know she s not a good parent, and if you think you can do a better job, go back to court and take this kid home with you.....
good luck and best wishes..

Answer 6

if you have custody then go back to court she is in comtent of court and you are in titled to the necessary paperwork. i don't understand why you didn't get it to start with. also i wouldn't let your son live with "mother" ever again.

Answer 7

Contact an attorney for advise. You should have some legal recourse.