Why do people think...?

Question

Why do people think that because we're [I am 14, turning 15] do not understand love just because we're not adults? Why do they say we are too young? I think we would know our own feelings better than them and that you're never too young to fall in love. I mean I was 13 and he 17. I fell in love with him, but it didn't work out. It was not a crush, trust me. I know what crushes feel like and this was so much deeper, so much more feeling involved. And it hurt like heck when he left and I found out he was a player and only wanted one thing. To this day when I see him I still hurt that we could have been and yet happy that we weren't. Does that sound like someone who doesn't know love? To all those people who believe, sincerely believe, that if you're not an adult then you don't know love, get a new idea. People can't control their feelings and you can't tell them when they are old enough to fall in love. They decide that for themselves when they mature. I know.

Answer 1

My first serious bf and I got together when we were 15. We are married now, and I heard the same thing, " you are too young to know what love is". But you know that is there reality because that was what they went through. We never left each other because of what other people said or thought, and if we would have ever left each other it would have been for natural causes. I mean I do agree, with "how do you know when you are in love?" But after what you said that you felt I would have to agree that you felt love, and so therefore you DO know what love is. You never know what life will bring you and in your case you fell in love early. ANYTHING can happen! Although may I suggest that I strongly recommend abstinence until marriage.

Answer 2

This is coming from me-- I was 15 when I met my 17 year old boyfriend. We were young, but we fell in love. Somehow we knew from our first date that it was forever. He was my first love and my only love.
We weren't careful, a month before my 17th birthday we had a baby. We gave our daughter up for adoption.
We were never apart for a day. Fast forward----- 6 1/2 years later, I'm 22 now, and he's 23, (24 in August). We got engaged last Christmas and our wedding is June 16 2007.

We have been through so much together in our 6 years. It is a miracle of God that we are still together. We waited so long to get married, because we were waiting for the right time.

It’s not that people think that 15/16 year olds do not know love. They just understand that is terribly unrealistic that love from such a young age will last. Between the ages of 14-20 people change the most they will ever change in their lives. People at such a young age do not know the person they will be in 5-8 years. They will not know how their bf/gf will change either. People just grow and change, they develop new interests, and ideals they might "outgrow" an immature boyfriend/girlfriend. People at that age don't have the "life experience" necessary to see down the road. Most people date many people before finding "the one". It is highly unlikely or impossible that you will find "The One" at such a young age, nor would you necessarily want to. Also, the statistics show that there is a greater chance for divorce when people get married at a very young age.

And even if you truly love someone with your whole being it doesn't necessarily mean you will be together or stay together. Time heals, and sooner than you think there will be a new person your heart beats and dances for. It’s all in the timing, you WILL meet “the one” when you are both ready.

Now that I am a little bit older and a little bit wiser, I look back at the person I was at the age of 15. I really was very young, inexperienced, and overly optimistic. I had my head on my shoulders and I was fairly mature, but I couldn’t see that time is helpful, and so is age. When you are older you will look back and think that you were “stupid” at 16. Trust me, everyone including myself thinks that about themselves. You’ll see I promise. Until then don’t worry about it! Just have fun and experience life, love and friendships. Don’t be in such a hurry.

I am truly blessed, I am soooooo happy and grateful for my life. Everything in my life is perfect and I wouldn't want anything to have been different, except having my daughter at a later age so we could have kept her. My fiance and I are "lucky" that we grew together over the years and not apart. Even though some of my interests are different than his, he makes a point to get involved with my hobbies. And that’s what it takes. Some people are willing to do that for their gf/bf, others are not.

I hope this helps you, and the last thing I'd like to say is that-- when it comes down to it, it's your life and your relationship. Do what you think is right, don't let others bring you down. But give the people who love you and care about your happiness the chance to guide and advice you. They have known you your entire life, they have more experience than you, and many things they have to say are logical and only meant in your best interest. They love you, trust them.

Good luck, take care of yourself, and respect yourself. Make sure whoever you are with loves and respects you too!

Answer 3

I love your speech, and yes its true that allot of us adults think you have not found love yet. When yes at your age you can! What you need to understand is that as you grow older , your ideas of love is what changes. You think this guy was the perfect love, but in all actuality is was a cheater. When you find that guy who loves you more then you love hI'm and would do anything for you, you will know.And the love will feel and be different then anything you have felt so far. What you know it to be now is what you think all love should be like. It will change, your wants and needs will change, your ideas of love will change too. I use to think just like you until i found the one that I am spending the rest of my life with. And im 37 now. You will get there , you have plenty of time!

Answer 4

I'd say I could agree with you, but the reason why we (adults) usually say you don't know what love is, is based on our experiences. Typically you fall for someone or you "think" you love them at your age. But as I'm sure many older people are going to say to you, it's not usually what you really think you're feeling, it's really just hormones. I'd say you're at that age, but I'm sure you've heard it already. So give it some time, you've been hurt, but trust me when you look back on this in the future, you won't believe how upset you were over some jerk, and you probably won't even think twice about whether it was love or not.

Answer 5

Well, you answered your question. Theoretically, when you are mature, you'll be able to tell what guys are only 'players' without going thru the trouble of breaking up with them.
A true fact is, your tastes and ideas of relationships will change dramatically during the next 15 years, or more. Someone you swear you love at 18 will seem like a total fraud at 25.

Answer 6

People think they know everything and they don't. Everyone has to live through their own personal experience. If you feel that this is love, okay than your in love. I would listen to others, as far as sex and things of sexual nature may come in to play in your relationship, because you are young and a guy that age is in the sexual stage of mind. At 17 for guys everything is sexual and that is what most of them are thinking about. So just do your thing. Don't worry and stress over others.

Answer 7

oh i so agree with u! i hated when ppl told me that when i wa sthat age..lol.....im now 21 and married but i hated if ppl said oh its just a phase u guys dont know what loves is....its not true! there are different stages fo love.. its true that at 15 ur not the same as a married for 25 yrs couple but i believe u know love when u feel it.

u are exactly like me..i always felt this way! i wanted to punch everyone who said oh its not love its puppy love it'll go away..ahhhhhh! i mean back in the day ppl got married at 12! lol....

Answer 8

im 16 and i honestly agree with the adults. we dont understand love. we think we are in love everytime we get a new boy friend or girl friend but then we break up and fall out of love" which i just dont think is possible. if youve studied human behaioral sciene at all or watched the movie donnie darko... you'll know love is the strongest human emotion, so to fall out of love so easy, to me, seems ludacris. the word love has been twisted too. i was reading a book last summer... and the main charecter was asking his friend what he loved. his friend began listing things such as "my wife, the beach, twinkis, mornings etc." and then the main charecter said "do you find it sad at all that you used love to describe both your wife and twinkis?" I think kids, only understand twinki love... but not real deep emotional love.

i know a couple who have been together since 7th grade (they are now last yr college students and getting married) they were telling me how they thought they were in lvoe way back in 8th grade, but then now as they look back on it they reaised it wasnt until first year of college that they felt really was love, because thats when they really molded into themselves as individuals.... and you cant fall in love until you 100% completely know who you are.

i also think we just get confused between new excitement and our real emotions. tell me, what was more exciting to you? the anticipation of christmas morning when you were 4-6 years old or christmas morning when you were 13-present day? or how about halloween for that matter? we are young and most of us just getting into those "serious relationshps" and its exciting to us. we mistake this new exciting experience, because it has not really been felt before atleast not a many tiems before, for love. thats all. when we break up... we are sad because that experienceended and we fell in love with the excitement and the idea of being in love... i dont know. thats just what i think. perhaps youll realise it too when youre older and married and laughing at how naive you were to think you were in love at 13

Answer 9

Don't worry about it, rhea. Enjoy being in love when you can. Advice though, don't marry anyone 'till you're in your mid to late twenties. The real fun in life hasn't started yet.

Answer 10

Well it's because you're 13, and you do not understand love yet.