In every disagreement, he feels threatened and becomes defensive then he tells you that he/she wants to get divorce but he does not. is it a habit or is he taking step towards divorce secretely?
2006-06-15 11:35:24 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's probably a tool to control you. Do you back down and give him his way?
Also, he probably does want out of the marriage and is looking for a justifiable reason.
Maybe he's having an affair or about to.
2006-06-15 11:38:54 · answer #1 · answered by babyitsyou31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means he's trying to strong-arm the situation and dominate you to keep you under his thumb. If he respected you, he wouldn't say something like that, and if he had a higher level self esteem, he wouldn't be trying to make up for it with a dominating personality. Call his bluff, tell him to go...and when he doesn't, tell him if he ever threatens to leave you again, he can just save his breath and go...because you deserve better than what he has to offer, you thought he was it, but he's showing you different. It's not your fault, don't blame yourself and don't put up with an ignorant or disrespectful person...because you'll be doing it for the rest of your life if you don't stop it now. You might be asking yourself "can I afford to take that risk, what if he really does leave", when you should be asking yourself, "how can you afford NOT to demand what you deserve, and let trash slide to wayside". Give yourself a little more credit, and a lot more respect...your love yourself in the morning for it, and so will everyone else.
2006-06-15 11:46:53 · answer #2 · answered by chrisalee38 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be a little bit of both - you should talk without arguing and let him know how you feel. Your spouse shouldn't be threatening divorce at every argument - in fact, divorce shouldn't be threatened at all. You both need to talk honestly with eachother. Counseling wouldn't be a bad idea.
2006-06-15 11:39:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that. He wants to leave you but he can't...either b/c he hasn't found another person yet or b/c he doesn't want to pay child support if you have children or pay alimony. Take him seriously. Work on your marriage but also plan for a divorce by putting some money aside and gathering some of his pay stubs and other important documents that you might needs such as his employer's address etc... Good Luck
2006-06-15 12:27:26 · answer #4 · answered by confused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably isn't planning a divorce but he should be shaking up your comfort level. I wouldn't feel too secure in a marriage where my mate threatened to leave me everytime we had an argument. Time to open up a "secret" rainy day bank account.
2006-06-15 11:40:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is an unfair threat. He is insecure in the relationship himself, and something is making him unhappy. Ask him when you are not fighting if he really wants to leave you, and then you guys have a talk.
I've done the same thing out of anger. My husband has ADHD and makes bad decisions sometimes, and doesn;t fulfillhis responsibilities. In anger I've said I was leaving, but as soon as I said it I was scared he would say he wanted that!! I was wrong in saying it even out of anger. So is your hubby. You guys should talk.
2006-06-15 11:39:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just upset and venting. Dont believe it unless he does. If he does leave however let him go! I dont think he is stepping towards divorce in secret at all!
2006-06-15 11:46:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be trying to tell you he wants a divorce or he says the one thing he knows that will hurt you most
2006-06-15 11:43:22 · answer #8 · answered by Lola B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's how it went for me. He was always ready to throw in the towel, but took 35 yrs and someone pushing him to do it. I found that he will never change,so you may have to decide to not beat yourself up over someone elses hangups. Can't change someone else. Now some hoochie has him and all his problems. Yes!
2006-06-15 11:40:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a control tactic. Don't fall for it. He is trying to get his way by threatening you. Leave the jerk.
2006-06-15 11:42:33 · answer #10 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋