I am 59 years old and from Davenport Iowa. I was kind of bullied in to droping what was going on in my life and come out to California and take care of my aging mother and step father. When I arrived out here I was told I would have to get a full time job and take care of them at the same time. It is a full time job just taking care of them. I have been here for about 3 years. My mother is confined to a wheel chair she has dementha and parkinsons and a bad heart and she is blind. He has prastrait cancer and a bad heart. All they do is talk about dying. There minds are almost totaly gone and I cant do anything right as far as there concerned. I had to drop my girl friend back there in Iowa and get rid of all my posesions. I have a sister who lives out of state she is single but she refuses to help at all. She wont even come out here to visit untill one of them dies Now is that selfish or not? She says she hasent got the time to be botherd with them. I have my own life to live.
2006-06-15 11:29:46 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We, as adult children, are not required to do this, but it is a responsibility that most of us will have. The good thing is, that in today's society, there are options other than a nursing home - there are companies that offer home care assistance, and although it is not cheap, it is much more affordable than an assisted living home.
You do deserve your own life, and your sister should be more helpful, but since that doesn't look to be in the cards, you may want to look into getting yourself some help with the folks!
2006-06-15 11:49:19 · answer #1 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With a six 12 months previous daughter im particular time is complicated sufficient to discover while not having a 17 12 months previous...i think you have completed no longer something incorrect and if your mom and dad cared a lot approximately it they could desire to come purchase during the week and take him off of your palms for a on an identical time as so which you would be able to have some time with Lizzy. Im particular they have taken showers at the same time once you and your bro have been youthful..dont worry approximately it bro they're going to recover from it and your brother is attending to that age the place he will initiate making his very own possibilities regardless of what you're doing.
2016-12-08 09:30:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not have your own life, because you allowed everyone to bully you into doing something that you don't want to do. You are in charge of your own destiny if you want to be, but you have an issue of some type that allows or makes you feel like the responsibility is yours. I think that it is great to take care of your parents when they can no longer do it for themselves, but if you cant emotionally handle the task, someone else needs to. The best thing for you and them may be to look into a nursing home. If the other siblings have a problem and start to badger you about it, just remind them who moved half way across the country and who didn't. Then simply tell them that they are welcome to take over the care that you don't feel confident about providing. Dont insult them, yourself, or your parents, but pay attention to what everyone has to say. They are being selfish and will probably accuse you of the same, but you are there. Where are they?
2006-06-15 11:40:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I understand what you are saying. It is a very difficult situation. I'm glad that you have stepped up and are helping them It seems they are making it very difficult for you. If they are terminal, why can't you get hospice in there to help you. Your sister is being very selfish. You have to realize that with their minds in the shape that they are, it's not really them but the disease. I realize that doesn't make it any better. The reason that all they talk about is death, is because that's all they have left in life. I sincerely wish you the best. I will pray for you and them.
2006-06-15 11:47:37 · answer #4 · answered by doglady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW.. Well try not to look at it in such a negative way, look you were once a baby and this now old lady.. took care of you, stayed awake with you, changed your dirty dippers, cleaned your mess, fed you with love and patients... don't you think maybe its fair u do this for her now....
we are all growing old, one day you will need from them and hopefully ur children can do for you what you do for them..
regarding your sister, that is so sad, but remember don't do to other whatn you don't want done to you...
she will one day regret being so sel-fish,,,,,
look you must be a really good guy to this much for them,, i am sure you will soon find you're self a woman that can love and care for you....
good luck and i know GOD WILL BLESS YOU..for what you do..
2006-06-15 11:41:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get help. Search on line or in phone book for "Senior Services", "Aid for Aging" etc. My Mom had visiting nurse, visiting practical nurse, house-keeping, grocery shopping and physical therapy in her home. Much of the burden was lifted from me. You must be healthy and happy to effectively take care of anyone else.
2006-06-15 11:45:58 · answer #6 · answered by NJ_PCRose 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry they are such an inconvenience... much like your newborn-a ss was when they had to adjust their lives into revolving around caring for you.
2006-06-15 11:34:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
care for them as long as they cared for you...you just may appreciate the time you spent with them when they are gone
2006-06-15 11:37:40 · answer #8 · answered by LEFTY 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
they gave you life
stop griping, you arent the ONLY one that has this issue...
suck it up
2006-06-15 11:36:15 · answer #9 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋