I feel lame right now, anybody got any advice so I can gain confidence?

Question

I just came back from swim practice feeling disgusted with myself and the way I look. Seeing the guy I like(at practice) for the first time in monthes pretty much confirmed my lameness. I feel so shy and have no confidence around him. I dont even know him! But I want to know him. I just feel so ugly and lame. I know it sounds ridiculous, but does anyone have ANY advice? I'd really appreciate it, thanks!

Answer 1

believe in your self

Answer 2

Sounds like you have low self-esteem, which is not something you can overcome overnight. There are things you can do over time to help you feel more confident in yourself and be the person you want to be. I know it is easier said than done...

First of all, you have to stop saying to yourself that you are lame, or ugly, or shy, or have no confidence. This sort of thinking is destructive, and it reinforces these feelings even more. It might sound impossible to suddenly change the way you feel about yourself, but that is exactly what you have to do. If you feel that way inside, that is what will show on the outside, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe you are ugly, lame and shy, then you will be.

Sometimes you just have to act. Get acting lessons if need be - join a drama group, perhaps. Learn how to act confident, even if you may not feel that way inside. Try walking around for an entire day saying to yourself (not out loud!) "I'm gorgeous. I'm really hot." Imagine you are one of those people in the movies you would love to be. Imagine you are a sexy person, and you will become a sexy person. Eventually, the way you feel on the inside shows on the outside, and when you feel more confident in yourself, the people you want to notice you will notice you.

One more piece of advice - look outwards, not inwards. Stop thinking about what you look like to others, and what they think of you, etc. Think about other people. Show an interest in them, and they will in turn show an interest in you.

Hope this helps!

Answer 3

Lack of confidence and shyness usually come from past experiences. Be aware that you are creating this situation in your head. The TRUTH is you don't know what he's thinking. There's no way for you to know what he's thinking. Your lack of confidence and shyness and lameness are all judgements that you are creating about yourself. "Try watching a movie called: What the bleep do we know" It's not directly related to what you're going through and at the same time it is directly related with what you're going through. Learn to love yourself.

Answer 4

Remember that confidence is attractive. Thinking highly of yourself and conducting yourself in a way that is respectable and intriguing will cause others to see you in the same light...and just think; the guy at swim practice might be SO excited that he just saw you...you never know!

Answer 5

Well around 1980 (I'm 42) WOW....I had the same thing going on that I fell in love with my first love. Unfortunately I was about 245 pounds in the 9th grade, great for football but not love! I focused on the task at hand and started running, training with weights etc. 6 months later she noticed me at a social gathering and we now have a beatutiful son together. Keep your mind focused on the goal and invision your task at hand, do not!! let any negative things (thoughts,people in your life) thats 25%, the rest is you!!!!!

Answer 6

alright dear.
this is natural but what is not so normal is u get lame around that guy.... U SHOULDNT! dont feel unworthy u are what u are u cannot be someone else! trust ur self that u can swim well u can chat well, u can be what u really are. that way u can exist in his mind. .. guys like confident WORTHY girls... dont feel ugly! God did create beautiful people with beautiful soul... u have a beautiful soul... if others insult u... please defend urself... if they say like *oh u are not worthy even a ugly* please always remember those people are jelous crappy, sick minded girls / boys::!:::: STAND OUT and BE URSELF§

Answer 7

if you're looking for practical advice, instead of looking down on yourself, look up. Think of at least five things about your body that you absolutely WOULD NOT change for anything. Write them down! Then do the same for the personality traits that you wouldn't change. Keep them close by. Then, when you feel down and low about yourself, get them out and read them. ALOUD! Be proud of who you are, because you are unique and that's the way God wanted you to be!! And remember, He doesn't make mistakes !!

Answer 8

Your not lame and I'm sure by far not ugly. For you to have confidence to approach this guy or even smile in his direction you first need SELF confidence. You need to work on YOU. tell yourself you ARE beautiful, don't just quote it BELIEVE it.

Answer 9

Get a hat that seems a little silly, but not too silly, and wear it proudly. If anybody makes fun, point out that your wearing a silly hat on purpose. It'll be a really fun day, and you'll feel a lot better about yourself, because everybody has to respect a silly hat!

Answer 10

all of us have this feeling sometimes in our life.. use this feeling and work hard on your look.. it's not what others feel about us that hurts us.. it's really what we feel deep inside that make us or break us.. you're thinking too much girl.. and it's normal to feel like that.. I would approach him and talk to him.. if it works out good.. if not just go to the next guy you like.. no hard feeling.

gosh i haven't swim for 8 years..

Answer 11

Don't feel disgusted with yourself! It'll be ok, really. Just take a chance. Trust me, taking one little chance will NOT kill you. It might be a little painful in the process, but afterward, you'll feel much much more confident about yourself. You'll be proud. Just strike up a conversation!