if your wife's baby passes away during her pregnentcy and she was only 4 months. well, lets say you dont have enough money to pay for the funeral and all, and the hospital asks you if you want to donate it to the hospital. Your mother in law pays all of it, because she doesnt feel right giving it away and convinces your wife. would you later pay her the 1000 dollars she paid. eventhough she knew you were having trouble with money and did it as a favor?
2006-06-15 11:05:29 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No I do not think you should have to pay her back for doing something that neither you nor your poor wife could afford to do.I mean she did offer the money and never asked that you to pay her back.So all I would do if I were you, would be to give her a great big hug and a thank you for the needed help in such a tragic event.May God bless you all and releive the pain in your hearts.
2006-06-15 11:14:25 · answer #1 · answered by DreamWeaver 6 · 7⤊ 1⤋
If you would have had the money would you have paid for the funeral?? That is the question you need to ask yourself because if the answer is yes then I say pay her back. Even if the answer is no then think what message you are sending to your wife about how important her and the pregnancy was to you. It might just be easier to pay over the money to stop the conflict.
However, if the wife sides with you then and the answer to my first question is no and you don't mind having a falling out with her family then stick with not paying. Just make sure that it is worth it to you to be in the right and you don't mind risking losing an important person in your wife's life and possibly a future child's life.
2006-06-15 18:12:39 · answer #2 · answered by Sully 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your wife about what would make her comfortable. If she wants to pay the money back you guys can come up with a time when finances will be easier or you can begin making monthly token payments now.
This business of funerals for unborn fetus' is a new one and a delicate area. I'm not sure why you refer to the baby as your wife's and not "ours" but maybe you were not yet used to the idea or attached? That's O.K. and perfectly normal, just make sure that your wife knows how much you care about her feelings of loss even if you do not share them. My condolences and best wishes to you both.
2006-06-15 18:21:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear what happened...
I probably would not return the money in full if I need to use my money in my family's survival but will give her some amount that I'm capable of giving back and tell her how much her help meant to you and your wife. In the future, if you still remember what your mother-in-law did for you guys and you are in a better financial position, you will find it in your heart to return the favor.
2006-06-15 18:15:54 · answer #4 · answered by Jivan S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same experience , I was 5 mo. and 6 mo. I lost two babies in two years. I did'nt have the money for a funeral, so I donated the babies. I had a very hard decision to make as you do also. I would just accept it as a gift and let it go. Do'nt try to go back and pay for something you could'nt afford in the first place.I'am so sorry for your loss. Let it go....
2006-06-15 18:13:37 · answer #5 · answered by Katherine C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your mother in law about it. If you have the money and feel like you need to pay her back then do it. Or maybe down the road she might need a big favor and you can pay her back that way.
2006-06-15 18:09:28 · answer #6 · answered by Werhere4lfedlwthit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like you need to pay your mom in law back. She did this because she wanted to do it for your wife and the baby. Just thank her and concentrate on being with your wife and comforting her.
2006-06-15 18:09:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
can you clarify with a comment? What are you being asked to "donate" to the hospital?
The money that you should be spending on a funeral? Geez, wouldn't your wife's hospital bills be a big enough "donation?"
2006-06-15 18:09:49 · answer #8 · answered by sassycali 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is a tuff one. Without involving your wife, I would approach your mother in-law and offer to pay her back overtime. Chances are that the gesture will be enough and if understands your situation at all that will all she needs.
2006-06-15 18:11:13 · answer #9 · answered by Moses 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation. I think your mother in law was very generous in helping you guys out. I don't believe if I was the mother in law in this situation that I would expect repayment. I think she was just doing what she believed was right and what was best for the family.
2006-06-15 18:10:30 · answer #10 · answered by rockinout 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋