SEX ADDICT....Help me! Why can I not control myself and any ideas on how to go about with abstinence?

Question

Someone mentioned that I was full of it and was lacking details. Being a "freak" I have noticed, has been considered by some to be the "in thing". I never said it was cool but I can't deny being one. Once you cross the line....it's hard to stop. I guess I'm not exactly meeting men to even consider as a boyfriend... I descriminate on meetin men on the scene. I am on the scene gettin it like that but once I get2 know a man on that level I haven't been able to deny temptations. Even if I tell my myself...I am going to "cut him off" I've not had the strength to follow through. I know it's against God's will but I am human & also a product of my upbringings. I wasn't brought up in a whore house, it's just that noone talked to me about sex and the importance of certain moral values. Let me note that I am 29 & I guess close to my prime. I feel like no matter how good...I never get enough!!

Someone mentioned that I was full of it and was lacking details. Being a "freak" I have noticed, has been considered by some to be the "in thing". I never said it was cool but I can't deny being one. Once you cross the line....it's hard to stop. I guess I'm not exactly meeting men to even consider as a boyfriend... I descriminate on meetin men on the scene. I am not on the scene gettin it like that but once I get2 know a man on that level I haven't been able to deny temptations. Even if I tell my myself...I am going to "cut him off" I've not had the strength to follow through. I know it's against God's will but I am human & also a product of my upbringings. I wasn't brought up in a whore house, it's just that noone talked to me about sex and the importance of certain moral values. Let me note that I am 29 & I guess close to my prime. I feel like no matter how good...I never get enough!!

Answer 1

Why fix it if it ain't broke? Sex isn't a bad thing, like the goddamned bible thumpers would have you believe. Don't worry about it.

I mean, why not do it if it feels good and you like the way it makes you feel? What is the purpose to not doing it as long as you go about it safely?

Answer 2

I could really talk about this, and perhaps need to find the answers myself. But speaking for myself, I haven't been properly laid in about 15 years, since I divorced my alcoholic wife. Quitting her was the most difficult thing in my life. I quit cigarettes when I was 30, and the cravings lasted about a year. But my third wife? How long?

She'd take me to SLAA (Sex And Love Addicts) and the people could tell in about a minute I didn't have their problem and asked me to leave. So I am not one of those. I'd try to explain that I was a Gayle addict (Gayle was her name).

I'm 55 now and haven't found another woman although I've tried a few, not necessarily trying to replace her or finding someone like her, just good relationship material, a gal I'm attracted to.

I think that as I'm getting older I'm getting a little more accustomed to being by myself and desire hopefully is waning, but I cannot say for certain. I go for extended periods without sex or masturbating, until it hurts and I have to do something about it.

I don't believe it's natural or right for a man to be alone, but then there are a lot of things that don't seem natural or right to me in this world. So perhaps that's just the way the world turns and I'm just visiting this planet.

Answer 3

Sounds a little bit absurd to me. How many invitations have you had here on line with that question? If you're an admitted "bonerfied" sex addict, you've already taken the first step to make things better, that is- if you think that things have gotten out of control...

If its an addiction, that means that you can't voluntarily stop.

Do you think that you need help? Then go and get it.

I have an acquaintance that's sexually out of control and I don't like it. To me, its similar to any other addiction or abuse... Drugs, OK once in a while in moderation - but every day? all day?

No Good!

Don't get me wrong... sex is great... with the right person at the right time... Get a hold of yourself or just ask some other questions...

Answer 4

First things first. Prime up yourself respect. You deserve better, freak or not. Only choose what's best for you, not the men. If you really think you have a serious problem look into Sexaholics Anon. they are real and very supportive. It's not about will power either, it's about self respect and your personal safety. Speaking of which, I do hope you are using protection, there are way too many nasty things out there that will hurt you or can kill you. Be safe, and make good choices for yourself. It's not about God either, if that helps keep you strong, great, but it's about you. You and your choices and your need to be loved and appreciated, but you gotta start with yourself.

Answer 5

to begin with....you have to stop thinking about yourself all of the time....if you get involved with something that will give you a constructive life that will keep you from thinking about your body parts......you also need to stay away from places where other people are only looking "for one thing" One of the best places to expand or find your calling in life is to find a hip church that is FUN....I don't know where you live, but almost every area has a church that is in tune with today's society....after all God invented fun. Many churches also have counselor's who are NOT judgmental and can help you find the reason behind your obsession. Do you feel unloved? The creator of the universe loves ALL His children...if you reach out to Him, He is always there...just ask for help and then EXPECT it....He has great plans for you....WE just have to DECIDE to let Him work in our lives.

Answer 6

You are only a sex addict if you are HAVING sex AND it is patholigical - meaning, that it debilitates you at work, home, your social life, etc.

(Forgive me if that sounds condescending, but there's a bunch of young teens on this site that don't know that urges are perfectly normal, especially for the first few years their hormones get fired up).

There are support groups out there, find one.

And this question should not have been posted in Games and Recreation.

Answer 7

First of all you are looking at the situation in the wrong manner. Think about all the good coming from not having sex. If you are going to wait then wait and stop stressing yourself. You are the only person who controls your thoughts which means you have the control to stop thinking of having sex yourself.

Answer 8

Try ******* yourself instead. If that isn't abstinence I don't know what is. Or you could just close your legs. Were you born in a 7/11 it sounds like you are open 24 hours a day. You open on holidays???

Answer 9

Seek counsiling. Or is this a bulls--t question. Kind of hard to believe your queston when you don't provide any more details that what you did. I would hazard a guess that you just get off seeing your own crap up online.

Answer 10

Just think about the worst time you had with a person of the opposite sex or about the fact you could die from AIDS or other diseases or that you could get pregnant or killed by someone you don't know. That should curb your lust.