lead on someone they would never be interested in? He said he is embarrased of the truth, but he told me he had a crush and was flattered that I cared so much and so forth, but then later tells me he is gay. I don't get it, why did he tell me he had a crush then? Don't need any smart a** answers please. I love him very much and I am just hurt that he led me on.
2006-06-15 10:58:53 · 13 answers · asked by countrygrl278 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
we've been friends since we were kids and he said he always was gay, but he even lied about that he had a boyfriend. couldn't he have just told me that he was seeing someone
2006-06-15 11:06:08 · update #1
we lost touch when our moms moved us around and I recently found him again after looking for him for 10 years
2006-06-15 11:06:50 · update #2
he says he is ashamed and wish he wasn't gay so I understand him not telling me but don't understand the leading me on I guess. I love him with all my heaert and he will always be my friend no matter what
2006-06-15 11:11:20 · update #3
he cares for me very much, I know that cause he feels bad that he hurt me, and he hopes for me to be more"understanding" which I am trying to be just a shock to my system
2006-06-15 11:15:40 · update #4
he said he tried to make society happy before by dating a girl and he was engaged to her and everything but he wasn't happy, so why lead a girl on?
2006-06-15 11:58:15 · update #5
no I am not copying scripts I don't even watch the show, this is my life, I love him and do not condemn him. I know socirty can and I understand that, I am just saying that he could have just told me he was seeing someone and left it at that, he didn't have to tell me that it was a man, instead he said he was not seeing anyone, not married or nothing, could have told me he was not interested.
2006-06-15 15:40:06 · update #6
He does have a crush on you to the level that he can have a crush on a girl. You should be flattered but realize that it is not the same as a crush form a hetero boy.
I don't think your friend is confused - he clearly knows that he prefers the company of men for that type of thing. and he clearly knows that what he feels for you, a crush, is not the same as the crushes or love he feels for a man.
It's as if a girlfriend of yours said she loved you. You would know what that means and the boundry of that - right?
This friend of yours will make a great friend if you choose to keep him around - he's honest. He didn't lie, he told you he was gay. He didn't have to. Flirting is not lying.
You need to move on with your feelings; become better for this experience not bitter.
2006-06-15 11:07:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
I don't know what went through his head to cause him to do this, but I was in a similar situation many years ago and I would be happy to explain why I did a similar thing to a girl then.
I didn't want to be gay. My parents and pastor told me if I just dated girls and tried to fall in love with a girl, the gayness would go away. I had no reason
I tried. I did love the girl with all my heart. I knew a year into the relationship that no matter how hard I tried, I would never be the "man" she needed. When it came down to it, I knew she deserved better than what I had to offer. She was crushed to find out the truth, but we are still close friends to this day. She has been married to a wonderful man and has a wonderful son who is the same age we were when we first met. I didn't mean to lead her on. I really did want to be her man. I really did want to be straight, but I just couldn't do it and I felt it was more wrong to use her to "make that change" then it was to hurt her.
I hope this helps shed some light on what may have caused your situation.
Good luck and God Bless!
2006-06-15 11:53:13 · answer #2 · answered by Dustin Lochart 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not confused. He is wobbling between denial and reality...he must be young. At least, he is making progress, and I am sorry that part of the progress was at your expense. Some of us had to get married and have kids before we realized what was really going on. Count your blessings that nothing progressed that far. He is still the same person he always was, just unavailable as you might like him to be. But, look on the bright side..you have a confidante' that you can tell anything to, who will be there for you when times get rough, and he won't leave you. That is more than most lovers can be. This might be a much better deal for you in the long run. Good luck
2006-06-15 11:17:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are u copying the scripts from Will and Grace?!! Imagine you are a lesbian and all your friend and family are straight. and society condemn you for who you are...The President tell you can't married to the same sex. The Pope tell you it's a sin!! Bigot would beat the crap out of you if they don't kill you first...can u imagine living in a society like that? Have you not read all those bigoted question posed here? Perhaps he's desperately trying to make himself straight because of all these pressure , thinking that he can actually change . If u are angry perhaps you should direct your anger towards those who oppressed gay and lesbian all over the places. He did not mislead you, he mislead himself. This is the kind of game many gays and lesbians play to avoid prosecution by society. Whatever gain they have made only confine to selected cities and communities. Have you ever been afraid of showing emotion to your love one in the public? What straight society took for granted are forbidden againsts the homosexual communities....
2006-06-15 15:33:26 · answer #4 · answered by sstooc2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A crush and flattery are nothing more than that. It wasn't fair of him to lead you on, but it sounds like you invested more in him than he was interested in investing in you also.
Coming to terms with your sexuality is not an easy thing to accomplish. Can you imagine how hard it is for him to lead a double life to make one half happy and the other half to make himself happy.
Hope you are able to reconcile this and become a support for him. If not it would be best that you let him go. Good luck!
2006-06-15 11:05:53 · answer #5 · answered by Active Denial System™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, sorry you had that experience, maby they were confused? with everyone who makes fun of Gay's and are mean to them, it is probably really hard to come out, and Tell the truth, and they could have been in denial too, that is a real hard situation to be in, and not fair to you as well, but try your best to understand where they are coming from too, even though it does look like it hurt you bad......
good luck!
2006-06-15 11:03:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just didn't think that you would understand him being gay. And the flirting and leading on is probably natural, it wasn't to hurt you.
2006-06-15 11:02:29 · answer #7 · answered by Bethany Z 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you Love the guy and want to chance a sexual relationship, go ahead. Be prepared to get your Heart broken. Beware of STD andI want you to know I am pulling for you. Either way. I want you to be Happy.
2006-06-15 11:58:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE SOUNDS CONFUSED AND MAYBE HE JUST DOESNT WANNA LOSE YOU. MAYBE HE TRUELY CARES BUT AS SOMEONE WHO IS GAY, HE IS PROBABLY STRUGGLING WITH THAT AND THAT'S WHY YOU FEEL LEAD ON. HE'S FIGHTING WITH "HEY IM GAY" AND "OH MY GOD, I STILL LOVE THIS GIRL". TALK TO HIM AND FIND OUT WHATS GOING ON WITH HIM. MAYBE YOU SHOULD LET HIM GO SO HE CAN DISCOVER HIMSELF AND YOU NOT BE HURT OR LEAD ON ANYMORE.
GOOD LUCK AND LET ME KNO WHAT HAPPENS.
2006-06-15 11:21:09 · answer #9 · answered by jusslisten 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is REALLY confused - not someone you should get involved with beyond friends and even that is pushing it.
2006-06-15 11:01:00 · answer #10 · answered by BobTheBizGuru 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋