Should a 19 yr old be expected to pay rent?

Question

My husband thinks that our 19 yr old daughter should pay us rent. She is in college, works full time, has ALWAYS paid for her own things since age 15. She is the typical 19 yr old who likes to hang out with her friends nightly. She doesn't have a curfew but is pretty responsible about getting herself in my midnight when she has to work the next day. My husband doesn't like the fact that we have no control over her finances, she has chores around the home but doesn't always do them timely. She helps out by doing extra chores around the house on her days off. She really is a good kid. The two of them have never really had a good relationship but it has improved a lot over the last year, so I thought. He really just doesn't like how she spends her time (sleeping, going out) and thinks that we are subsidizing her going out. He feels that if he was being paid rent then he wouldn't care what she did. I disagree. I need advice, FAST!

Answer 1

yes you should charge her rent.... not a ridulous amount though.... and put it into a savings account, so when she needs extra, or her car breaks down, or she is ready to move out, then you can give it back to her.... unless you need it for financial reasons...
at 19 my kids paid "room and board" ..... they worked part time, so they only paid me 80.00 a month.... i actually used it to but things that they would need when they moved out on thier own.... pots and pans, kitchen and bathroom linens, silverware, mixer, mixing bowls, etc.....
this way, they understand about having responsibility as far as having to pay bills and such, and if you dont need the money, then its a great moving out gift. :)

Answer 2

Yes, as a father of an 18 year old, I would teach my kids the responsibility of being an adult. Now, I'm not going to take all of their money.
I would start with a low amount and see how she does. Her responsibilities would be her chores, as if she were in her own apartment. I would also charge her for the insurance on the car, gas expenses, you know the things we all need.
If you feel that you don't really need the money, then save the money for her for college expenses. But, by the time she's ready to move on, she'll know exactly what she can't take advantage of.
Be careful tho. Curfew may fly out the window.
There has to be give and take.

Good luck

Answer 3

I have a 19 y/o also, and she attends college full time and works. She has assigned duties around the house and pays her own bills, she also has alot of freedom. I mean she is 19, and a adult in most eyes. Her paying rent has never been a issue, but she has been putting money every month into a side account that she will use after school to set herself up in a nice little condo. Maybe you can do something similiar.

Answer 4

I would say yes she should pay rent, because it teaching her a sense of financial responsibility. I have three teenagers the oldest will be twenty in September. And my second child is on their own since seventeen and taken care of their responsibilities My oldest has yet learned how to be financially responsible. And we as parents often pay for it.

I don't think it an issue of control on your spouse's end but this is an opportunity to teach your daughter lessons she'll use for a lifetime. There are plenty of people with college degrees who can't balance a check book or pay their bills on time. Those who just haven't learn to manager their finances.

One of the things that can be done with the rent money is to put it away for her without her knowing. And once she finishes school she can use it as down payment on a house or start and business.

I just think your husband wants her better prepared for the future and all of it responsible so that it won't be a rude awaken later when she is out there on her on. She just may return back to your nest. Better to prepare now. Adults should be treated as adults, you and your husband don't live there for free. You have a mortgage or rent and utilities to pay for.

Answer 5

My 21 yr. old just came home for the summer from college and I told him and wrote down a list of what I expected of him during the summer and put a $ amount to each item he finished. So, instead of charging him rent, he has to work it off. He does have a job and has to pay his car payment, ins, cell phone, and extras with that money he makes. He has watched me take a 40% pay cut and knows that I can not support his wants. So far this arrangement has been working.
I would rather have my son at home than sleeping a friends' to avoid paying rent. He is a good kid.
Good luck to you.

Answer 6

I don't think a 19 year old working daughter should pay rent. Providing a home is parent's responsibility to their children. If your husband does not like how your daughter spends her time, ask him why? what does he expects your daughter do during her free time? Your daughter works full time and she pays for her own things, it is her money she is spending and that should not bother you or your husband.

Your daughter might be spending more time outside because she feels uneasy staying at home. You know your daughter more and you know better what to do.

Answer 7

I am also 19, going to college, and live with my parents. Luckily I do not have to pay rent, but if my parents ever asked me too I would gladly cough up. I think if your husband really wants her to pay rent, thats fine....just don't charge her that much. If she is paying for everything else, I would suggest just like $100 a month. This is not a lot, but it's still 100 dollars that your husband can have to suffice his need to charge her to stay in your house. She is your daughter though and you need to enjoy all the time you can with her, even if it means freeloading a bit. :P

Answer 8

She is 19, in school and working. What more does he want from her ? No, I dont think she should pay rent. First off b/c she is still in school and second when she finished school she should be able to save some money to move out on her own. He's just jealous that he cant go back and be 19.

Answer 9

In my family, as long as we were going to school full-time and getting good grades, we didn't have to pay rent. Your daughter is working FT-- is she paying for her own schooling? Is she getting good grades?

I guess my answer is no, she shouldn't have to pay rent, but at the same time a token amount wouldn't be out of line if it would calm your husband down. However, I agree with you that it is unlikely that he will stop complaining about how she spends her time.

Answer 10

You are wrong and you are selfish. Do you know what is the meaning of relations? Do you have your own daughter or son? Come to India and I'll show you what are relations? First of all you dont pay rent of the house, you are living with her free of cost. Your girlfriend did paid rents and other daily expenses for 3.5 years. You just want a free living. You are forcing your girlfriend to choose between and daughter. You trying to create wall between mother and daughter. THIS IS THE WRONG THING YOU ARE DOING YOU SELFISH BRAT.

Answer 11

Excellent question.
To teach children the proper growing up habits they are expected to do room & board is one of them. My policy was that if my children didn't want to finish school or attend college they were required to go to work and pay room and board if they wanted to continue to live at home. If they wanted to go to college no room and board was required but they would have to get a part time job to help buy their own school supplies and clothing. If you and your hubby are in a financial bind then I would say yes that the child should assist with household expenses if they are working. Common sense is actually the only issue in this matter. If your husband is only requesting it because he's stingy.... he's totally wrong.