Caught my 47 year old husband in a teen chat room- what to do?

Question

Hi, I am absolutely confused, horrified and upset.
Last night or rather this morning, I woke up around 3:30AM (I smelled cigerette smoke and am highly allergic, my husband sneaks the occasional cigarette in the apt)
Well I walk into the computer room and see that my husband is in a TEEN chat room with multiple chat rooms open. My husband is 47 years old. I was really horrified and just walked out, this morning I couldn't speak to him and rather texted him asking if these teenage girls knew how old he was. He replied yes and I am a fool. I have known for a while that he fetishes over young women, I am 28, there is 19 years between us, we have been together for 11 years. Yup thats right since I was 17. For some reason i thought that I was an exception, new or whatever. But as I get older our sex life has waned and his use of "Barely Legal" porn has risen. But the fact that he is interacting with teenage girls is really alarming to me. I don't know what to do. I feel really betrayed

Answer 1

Out with the old in with the new. Good for him. How do you know the girls he was talking to were underage? Barely legal porn is just that..the day they graduate after they are 18. For all you know the girls he was talking to could have been just that. Maybe youre snatch is just a little too blown out anymore and he needs something new. Storming off to your room to text message him and putting your personal business on the internet? Maybe he found teenage girls more mature than his own wife.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

You are betrayed! I bet you feel cheated on. I felt the same way when my ex husband was doing similar activities. Sad to say, your husband is 47 years old, and he won't change now. For anyone. I think that you still have your whole life ahead of you. I'm 27, and disgusted that I wasted 10 years of my life with my ex. Now I'm happy, remarried, and living life, and feeling loved. I wish the same for you. Eleven years is a lot of past. Are you genuinely happy enough to overlook this fault of his, or are you going to always feel bad about it? If you are going to not be able to get over this, you should move on. Very hard to do, but you deserve happiness, and oneness with somebody who cares about you. He obviously doesn't, as the porn and chat rooms have shown you. Stand up for yourself and leave. Forever. Don't look back. Your future is in your hands.

Answer 4

Honey I will be honest with you and don't get mad at me. After all these are just my thoughts. Personally, (even with you) I would consider him a dirty old man. Yes he has probably cheated and yes he will probably do it again. My bet is that he would pick a young virgin over you any day. Him in a teen chat is very scary to me. But then again I had some bad things happen to me when I was 12. Give up now. Its not worth it. All I can do is hope he never hurts a little girl which I would put past him. Sorry again.

Answer 5

Oh my!! Yeah honey, sorry, but I think he's a sneakin' cheat!! If he had the chance he might get a newer model...that's really sad!! Maybe he is trying to relive his younger years or something. But he was obviously trying to be in that chat room behind your back. Any way you look at it.....unless he has your approval to be in those chat rooms w those teenage girls...he's cheating!!

He sounds like a dirty old man to me....and this is a real pickle ur in as you've been together for 11 years, but please don't compromise your beliefs for him. Let him know how this is hurting you and how you feel about it. If he loves you .... truly loves you, he'll give up the chatting. I've heard that there are ways to "spy" on him but I don't know what kind of software you'll need to use....I'll try to find out for you and I'll edit my answer if I do.

Answer 6

This is very serious. If you're husband tells you otherwise, then he is lieing. Trust me, he knows deep in his heart that it's wrong.

Jesus said in Matthew 5: 27. Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
28. But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

So even entertaining lustful thoughts of a stranger is completely unacceptable. I'll be honest, all men deal with these kinds of desires in some form or another.

You should seek the counciling advice of a good, Bible believe councilor. Some churches will provide this service. In our area of Florida, our church provides it for free.

This is a trust issue, an adultery issue, an addiction issue. It just can't be ignored. And if you're husband things that you are hounding him (and I'm pretty confident that he will), then you'll need to suffer through that. It may be uncomfortable.

He really must stop though.

I wish you luck in this issue and I'll pray for you and your husband.

Answer 7

You should have figure this out 11 yrs ago when he came after you! You were 17 he was 36 hello do that sound normal! How about doing the right thing and letting the authorities know of this! They will take care of it from there! Your just too young for him! And do you even know how long this been going on? He may very well be cheating on you without you knowing of it! Better think what your really want and than make your decision! Do you really want to live with a man like that now after knowing the truth?
Good Luck!

Answer 8

Call the police immediately! Your husband is a pedophile and he WILL at some point attempt a sexual relationship with another teen or child at some point if he hasn't already.He will get caught doing what he's doing and because you were aware of it you will be considered an accessory if you don't tell NOW! The FBI has a way of tracking online activity so your address and phone number as well as family name are probably on there list of suspected pedophiles.PLEASE call the police or FBI NOW!

Answer 9

I would hope that seeing this would upset you! At the age of 17 I could see how you could've thought that you were the "exception" but this is something you probably should've realized was not the case years ago but since you didn't If I were you I'd look into getting him some counseling and maybe some couples counciling as well because this is a serious issue. This could be the start of something worse to come. Good luck I hope that it works out for you!

Answer 10

It sounds like you know what's going on. You have it outlined:
1. Sexual relationship waning.
2. Teen chat rooms.
3. You were 17 when you met; he was 36.
4. You're now 28, and his interest in you is waning.

You know that it will only get worse, and you know that he might just get himself into some serious legal trouble. You also know... because you've been with him for 11 years and his interest hasn't changed... that this is something that isn't going to change, no matter how mad you get. And you know he's ignoring your concerns.

What do you do? (I think you already know...) Either stick your head in the sand, ignore it and await the inevitable consequences, or get out before something happens that will splatter on you too. You're too old for him now.

Answer 11

Darlin, you are married to a pedophile. See even though you are young and obviously love him...he is only turned on by a certain age. You are past that age and although you are very attractive to others...you can't be to him. It is not your fault and there is no way you will be able to satisfy him. I know of a high school teacher who threw away his career and marriage in the same manner. He went to jail and when she turned 18 they got married. Then she got to be about 25 and he was out looking for another young one. She wanted a family and grew up...he was finished. with her. Leave now because you will never be happy in this situation...he can not control what he is....a pervert! Run do not walk. Good luck!