get out of college?
they're both going to start college next fall. my daughter has had some really tramatic experiences in her life during highschool.
2006-06-15 10:25:48 · 9 answers · asked by taxman_ll 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
she has a part of her that doesn't trust anybody because of what happened to her.
2006-06-15 10:31:58 · update #1
Believe me... college changes how you look at life. It's not bad parenting, and they decided to wait until after college. That's good. Also realize that just b/c they are head over hills in love now, does not mean it will be that way four years from now. College will help them to decide if they really want to be with each other forever. It will either draw them closer together or drive them apart. It is critical that they go through this stage, but remind them that it is not easy. Things change and sometimes not in the most desirable manner.
2006-06-15 10:43:42 · answer #1 · answered by lynnotnet 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IMHO: if the you oppose the marriage and have valid concerns for it, you should sit down and discuss them with her. If she still wishes to get married, let her know that while you may not think its the best thing for her right now, you will be there to support her. It is her life and she will have to make her own decisions and suffer the consequences, good or bad. Just be there when she needs you. On a personal note, I got married after one year of college at 19 and have now been married for 8 years. It was probably not the smartest decision in my life and it has been rocky at times. We have made it thru and I can honestly say I wouldnt change it for the world. The good and the bad.
Best of Luck
PS: I had some serious trust issues too thanx to my childhood. Not overcoming those before saying "I do", I think, contributed to alot of the problems my husband and I have had over the years. Please let her know, these really really need to be addressed and resolved before getting married. Take it from someone who's been there.
2006-06-15 10:41:13 · answer #2 · answered by seanachaipriestess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are going to college, they are over 18 and therefore you can't do a thing to stop them from getting married anyhow, so what would be the point in trying to stop it?
You would probably just end up losing your daughter, because she won't dump her fiance just because you say so, she's grown up. The only thing you are allowed to do, as the parent of an adult, is support her.
Not to mention, in the 4 years they are in college they could potentially change their minds, and if not you know it's a solid relationship.
Besides, be greatful they are doing it AFTER college, not BEFORE, because otherwise they might not finish. It sounds like they're making the right choice, and like I said, there wouldn't be anything you could do if they weren't.
2006-06-15 11:42:27 · answer #3 · answered by Queen D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should support her no matter what her decision. my mom didnt like my bf when i was in high school but she supported me....we had plans to get married after i finished college also....but things didnt work out and im not with him anymore. atleast she's made the decision to wait until after college...and if she has trust issues then its good she's waiting. if your unsupportive she might want to get married sooner and like i said things might change between now and then.
2006-06-15 10:42:18 · answer #4 · answered by gaigesmommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you need to encourage your daughter in whatever decision she makes. I think you should also encourage your daughter to work through her trust issues before marriage. She should also work through whatever happened. I say this because if not it could cause problems in the marriage.
2006-06-15 10:51:42 · answer #5 · answered by angeleyes39042 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your place to interfere just support her decisions, so far they seem very good as she's waiting to finish school, could have married him already.
2006-06-18 03:48:25 · answer #6 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I don't think its bad parenting if they wait until after they are out of collage, but don't let them get married before Collage, and if you cant try and have her live on her own first. to gain that experience.
2006-06-15 10:27:44 · answer #7 · answered by fandj4ever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well its not wrong for u to oppose marriage mainly because its ur child but if she feels shes ready u may have to let her go.
2006-06-15 10:52:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think if they are happy they should support the decision
2006-06-15 10:29:48 · answer #9 · answered by sarahgirlxd56 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋