Ok, let me give you some background info. 1st. My mom and her fiance were to be married 28 yrs. ago. She slept with another guy. The fiance found out and they broke up. She slept with another guy the same week out of recentment I guess. My mom and the fiance got back togeather and a month later she found out she was pregnant. They broke up because she told him it may not be his.
My mom always told me "the fiance" was my dad. But the truth is noone knows for sure. I thought all my life he was so I wanted to get some DNA testing, although I never met him. I just found out that he shot himself in the head and died. The only fam. members left are his exwife and a daughter.
My ? is this: Should I get the DNA siblingship test on the possible half-sister or should I just forget it and have happy thoughts about a dad that could still be out there with a stable mind?
I could KNOW my dad was crazy or think that my hero is still out there. What would be easier to live with?
2006-06-15 09:45:13 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Wow... I am sorry that you have gone through all of this drama... I can only share that the decision is yours...what if you go get the DNA test and find out something you are not ready to deal with. If you have a supportive group of people in your life, you should just concentrate on making your dreams come true.....
Good luck either way!
2006-06-15 09:49:34 · answer #1 · answered by Nick's Mom 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you would be better served to know the truth, if the truth is available. Keep in mind though, it doesn't matter which man is your dad unless he is still out there because if the guy who shot himself was your dad, it says nothing about who you are. Who you are is your choice. I would think that the truth is better than a fantasy false hope, especially since the truth might be real hope. Go find the truth if you can. That's my opinion.
2006-06-16 21:20:34 · answer #2 · answered by brad 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Begin by talking to a professional counselor who will guide you through the entire process. It is probably important for you to know the "truth" and once you do know, regardless of the answer, you will find some peace of mind for having taken that step. Just remember to have a counselor to "hold your hand" through the process in case you run into a difficult issues or issues you have to deal with.
Good luck Sweetie!
2006-06-15 10:01:39 · answer #3 · answered by Just wondering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't pick your parents.......but you need to know, so that either way you can deal with it and move on. Have the DNA testing done. If that man was your father, then you have a half-sister who just might be terrific. If he wasn't, then at leats you will have some closure. Best of luck.
2006-06-15 10:00:32 · answer #4 · answered by notjunecleaver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people can't cope with the pain and pressure of life. It does not necessarily make them "crazy." That is one of the stigmas that prevents people from seeking help when they feel distraught. However, if you honestly believe that means he's crazy, then it is probably easier to hold onto the "hero" image.
Best regards
2006-06-15 09:50:53 · answer #5 · answered by jd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For myself, I'd want to know, I'd get the DNA test done. A 'hero' father 'out there' not in your life is not a hero to me, just a sperm donor. Depression is an illness not crazy. Suicide means he didn't see a way out from his problems. Crazy means you can't recognize reality from fantasy.
2006-06-15 10:33:07 · answer #6 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take a long walk donw (or up) a curvy road/path with a nice view and decide if you really want to know your dad. You can tell yourself he's a wonderful, sensitive man, still alive and helping people. or you could burden yourself that your dad was a phycopath and your mom chose a phycopath. your pick
2006-06-15 12:54:17 · answer #7 · answered by her half dead lover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you should find out. If anything it will put your mind at rest. But always the thought of what could have been is more appealing. Sorry, I'm not much help am I?
2006-06-15 10:02:01 · answer #8 · answered by cracker2423 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know the answer to that. But let me ask you this: Can you live with the mystery?
2006-06-15 09:51:06 · answer #9 · answered by thedavecorp 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth will set you free...
2006-06-15 10:02:52 · answer #10 · answered by educated guess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋