What should I do about this...it sucks?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend now for a little over five months. A lot of things have changed in our lives since then, but we're still together. At first, everything was great with us. We spent a lot of time together and things always seemed peachy. But then, we began to fight...a lot. We fought constantly. Eventually, we always got over it, and things were wonderful with us again...but then, of course, we'd fight. We both love each other very, very much, yet we are very different people. He is extremely independent ''mr. 'I'll do it myself' man'', and he has been conplaining about being smothered by me. I admit, I have the tendency to be a bit clingy, but I enjoy doing things with him. Recently, our fights have been becoming more frequent. I hate it...it sucks...I want them to stop!!! We just had another huge fight this morning, and now he won't talk to me...I want to resolve this...what should I do?! If you want more detail, let me know. Please help! I love himso much!

Answer 1

Hey Buddy,
perhaps give him space. It can be VERY difficult to do. I actually just ended a 6 year relationship that yes like you we were both in love and boy did i love him...but we argued too much! it ends up becoming sole destroying....

I am in a new relationship now and my motto is to try and NEVER have a fight....3months and going well!! (this is why i live in passive agressive canada lol)

Good luck!! dont give up hope! i think i am like you and clinging too...but perhaps tell him you are thinking of leaving him for a little while. just a temporary break up. Stay monogomous but just dont see each other for 2 weeks...see how you go...

Answer 2

if you fight over little things..then that might mean u don't have much is common...and i've heard the saying of "opposites attract", but sometimes you have to find someone who is similar to you. however, if you fight over big problems, try to not yell, and be calm so he can talk to you. fighting happens in every relationship, but what makes the relationship last is how you forgive each other. people that break up for a silly little fight arent worth it..but since you say u have frequent fights, it's good that you're still together...

however, too many fights just..isnt healthy. try and make compromises to avoid fights. i really hope you two work out! best of luck

Answer 3

The first year is the hardest. Are there more good times than bad? Are you living together? If so the first year is just learning eachothers ways. If you can keep open lines of communication. You can walk away to cool off but don't let it go on for too long. Never go to bed mad. Being different is a good thing. Look at your faults but don't always be the one to give in. Go to him with what you did wrong. Love him or leave him!!!!!
Good Luck!!!!

Answer 4

5 months may seem like a long time- but it's nothing in the long run. You are most likely younger and you shouldn't be fighting with a partner- you should be having FUN 24/7.

You'll have time to be clingy in your late 30's. Get some great friends, bang around all you want, have a relationship later!

Answer 5

You need to back way off! He needs more space than you do, so give it to him...in fact, if you don't, he will take it by leaving your clingy butt behind. You need to address your insecurity issues quickly, or you are going to lose this guy pronto. "Marriage" should not be a prison, but you are trying to make it one. Sorry to be so un-sympathetic, but I have been there on both sides of the fence and neither side is a very nice place to be. Chill out, stop the fighting, or you will have no one to fight with. Please learn from this, or you will be doomed to commit the same errors again and again. Good luck

Answer 6

Although it is always important to respect other people in all situations, in a relationship such as this , it is also important to develop personal boundaries. Meaning that you each eatablish what belongs to you and what it is that belongs to them. Im not talking about possesions. These things such as likes, dislikes and what you each expect out of the relationship and what it is that your each willing to sacrifice for one another can be essential in a relationship. One thing that a lot of people dont inderstand before getting into a partnership relationship and even marriage, is that it may verywell be the most challenging experience of their life. So, to talk about these things with him, that could bring some stability to you and him, but if he is not willing to talk about them the road could become even rockier. Then you might just have to re-evaluate things.

Answer 7

5 months? Dude, I think that if you have been fighting for a majority of your 5 month relationship, then you two need to be realistic and break up. Unless you're willing to stop being cling wrap and he's willing to open up, it will never work. And if you're saying that you love him after only 5 months, it's a clue that you are moving WAY to fast.

Answer 8

relationship needs compromise from both sides. If u really serious about working this out perhaps have a concrete plan to lay it out. The together time versus the independent time for both of you.

Answer 9

Sounds like the honeymoon is over. Is it possible that you both might want different things now? Whatever you do, don't compromise for what you want, then you will end up miserable and in the end you'll regret changing your ways. Happened to me recently.

Answer 10

Time to evaluate why you are both together.

What does each of you want from the other?
What would each of you do for the other?
What holds you both together? and (now the painful one)
IS IT ENOUGH?

That's the baseline from which you should both talk.

Best Wishes