to make love ended up sour coz i cudnt get my fella up. He gets hard but when i take it there he just gets soft. I like her a lot but i dont get aroused by her ...i mean i get excited but not hard on..We have recently decided to get married and i am thinking if everything will become alrright after the wedding or ...?
2006-06-15 09:35:18 · 16 answers · asked by mapleleafydude 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Only once before this i have had sex with my ex gf and it was really great for both of us.
2006-06-15 09:36:26 · update #1
There are a lot of good answers here, but I wanted to include my input. First of all, if you truly love each other, I wouldn't call off the wedding because of this. There is much, much more to a marriage than the act of sex.
I do agree that you may be putting too much pressure on yourselves. You may have this exaggerated picture in your mind, and when the time comes, all you feel is stress and anxiety. While I would normally promote waiting until marriage to have sex, I'm afraid that in this situation, that would just cause more stress, because of the anxiety leading up to the "the big night!"
I would most definitely seek professional help, be it physical or mental. In fact, you two should both go together, and discuss options on how to resolve this matter. Remember that you're not alone in this, and it's nothing to be embarrassed about.
Other than that, all I can say is to think about it less and enjoy it more. Next time you're alone together, try planning on NOT having sex. Make a rule that you can kiss and touch each other... anything you want, but you are NOT ALLOWED to have intercourse. You will both be more in tune to what each other is feeling and enjoying, and chances are that the longer foreplay lasts, the "harder" you're going to get. Sometimes, when you're truly in love, putting her first will turn you on more than thinking about yourself. Try even making a pact that the next time you're together, it's going to be all about her.... then see where the night leads.
2006-06-22 19:38:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, if it's not that great now what better is marriage going to do for it? A wedding is just a promised commitment between the two of you. Then you'll feel forced and will want out. Think ahead before you take that big step.
2006-06-15 16:50:21 · answer #2 · answered by Jenny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off I believe in waiting until AFTER MARRIAGE for sex. But maybe since you had sex with ex gf and it was great and it didnt work out. Maybe you are afraid that sex with wife to be would cause failure in relationship. Maybe you are wanting more then just a sexual relationship. On both cases I would say that is a good thing. Your marriage should be more then sexual.
Kathy
Kathy
2006-06-15 16:43:30 · answer #3 · answered by c2god2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all guys are drooling meat-heads when it comes to sex and it sounds to me like her feelings are a major concern to you. That is a good thing. But, either she is not attracted to you or you are not attracted to her. Like is not love. If she is not turned on it is probably having an effect on you and then you are turned off. Be careful with marriage especially if sex is going to be a large part of it, which I hope it is for both of your sake. Take it slow with all things and be sure before you say I do. Good luck.
2006-06-15 16:54:12 · answer #4 · answered by t.flowah12 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This problem definitely needs to be resolved before any marriage vows take place. Sex, no matter what some people say, is a very important part of a marriage. Go to your regular physician first, then to a therapist, if not resolved medically. It would be very selfish of you not to take care of this before saying "I do."
2006-06-15 16:47:54 · answer #5 · answered by Mom4_5 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are 2 reasons: 1-medical, like a side effect of perscription or 2-psychological, see a therapist, if you rule out the medical stuff. I would advise resolving this before you marry.
2006-06-15 16:42:25 · answer #6 · answered by danac210 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should wait until marriage for sex hon. It is much better and more pure that way and the marriage bed is undefiled! I dont know what it will be like after you get married you will just have to wait and see!
2006-06-15 16:38:22 · answer #7 · answered by Fast Steve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
either you to see your doctor for some viagra or maybe your having anxiety issues
spend time with foreplay
shower together first and play with each other..
then dont dry off, go to the bed and take turns giving massages ( these can be sensual ) but relax and let it come natural .. maybe she should be on top ..
these are just ideas
2006-06-22 22:05:37 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ Lisa♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to a doctor and find out why this is going on. It is not normal and will not get better when you marry her.
2006-06-15 16:38:16 · answer #9 · answered by lavenderroseford 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are lacking a physical attraction to her, sub consciously. If you truly love her I suggest going to the doctor and seeking medical advise. Or she needs to spice it up a little in the bedroom ! :)
2006-06-15 16:39:18 · answer #10 · answered by young at heart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋