I have a problem. i need advice. please help..?

Question

Ok so I have this friend and she thinks i am her good friend. she calls me a LOT and she walywas leaves me comments on myspace. have never called her in my life...And she is so effing annoying. she talkes about NOTHING. And i donno what to do. I am a nice person, so i cannot just say "Go to hell"...And now it is summertime and she wants to spend a lot of time together. She doesnt have any plans and i dont either. but i know i would rather sit at home than spend tome with her. this might sound so mean, but its the truth. when she calls me, she blabs on and on for hours. im serious. all u have to do is put the phone down and say an occasional "yeah" or" really" and she wont even know IYoure not listening. I dont know what to do. she can really get onmy nerves. But then again she is a good person...but nobody likes her. Anybody know what to do? i am lost...

Answer 1

I wish I could help you there but in my case I told her that I just like to be alone having some private relaxing time alone. and I am not much o a phone conversationalist either. No matter how much I tried to give her hints she still insisted or kept calling and emailing me. It got to the point that I felt I couldn't go anywhere or do anything cause she would know and want to tag along. Well to make a long story short we don't talk anymore. She got upset only cause I told her that I don't like to hang out all the time just once in a while. At first she stopped then started again and I had to tell her that I just didn't want to hang out anymore if it would persist. So we are no longer friends she was too clingy. Sorry to say but that may be your problem too. Try to be honest with her and maybe she would change a bit.

Answer 2

OmG I had the same exact problem you do!

She called 10x a day, she thought I was her best friend, she wouldn't shut-up and talked about nothing but b/s, and NO ONE liked her and found her annoying and didn't want to be friends with her.

I was the only one who would because I felt sorry for her and tried to look at the positive about her. And checked this out, I totally believed that she was a good person, but I suggest you open your eyes because there's a reason why people stay away from her, and they probably are right! The thing is this girl has NO BOUNDARIES and is probably suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder (yes, she's obsessed with you!). If she's normal she WOULD GET IT if she senses that you are annoyed by her presense or behavior (unless you are totally two-faced, but I doubt you are), but she just doesn't get it right? That means she has no boundaries and thinks that the world evolves around her and her ONLY.

Soon enough you will be so fed up with her because you will find out that your relationship with her isn't balanced because you always let her take the shots (because you're too nice to say no to her), and that she will only TALK AND TALK about herself and don't really care about what you have to say. You will soon see that in this relationship, YOU ARE THE GIVER and SHE IS THE TAKER. Trust me on this. You will get sooo fed up later on that you will cut her off completely, and not in good terms.

If you don't want this to happen, I suggest YOU put some bounderies with her. When she calls and you don't feel like talking just say you don't feel like talking and tell her you'll call her tomorrow or next week or so. Change your myspace setting so that she can't just post comments on your page without your approval. If you don't want to spend time with her for summer then tell her you'd like to relax at home but would occasionally spend time with her when you feel like it. I know it's hard but stop thinking that you are being mean to her when you say or do all these things to her. Just remember to say it nice but BE FIRM. I hope you realize that right now she is walking all over you basically.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I've had a similar problem before. When she calls try to talk to her about yourself or something so that she doesn't just blab like that, ya know? And when you go see her during the summer, bring friends. I know what you mean about not wanting to hurt her, yet not wanting to be with her. In my situation I ended up warming up to the person and now he's my best friend. So yeah, I don't know if your thing will turn out the same, but, you know, just set things up so that you will be entertained whenever you're with her. If things get really annoying on the phone, just say that your mom wants you and you'll call her back. Of course in that case you should actually call her back, but then you can set it up so that you'll have to go soon after you call. I know that sounds mean, and it kinda is, so only use it if you really can't stand her.

Answer 4

You and your friend are good people.
At first, we all want to listen if our friends have problems but there comes a point when we get tired of listening to the same things over and over again. Does your friend know that she talks too much and maybe she doesn't give you time to talk and for her to start listening?

If not and that seems to be the case, you should let her know that you would like to spend little time on the phone because you are trying to manage your time to do something productive. Do you consider her your friend? Are you comfortable sharing your thoughts with her? If you don't really consider her your friend, then just confront her. Tell her nicely that sometimes she talks too much and she doesn't give other people time to talk. It becomes a one way communication. If you value your friendship, direct your conversations into something that both of you find interesting.

Good luck!

Answer 5

If it was me this is what i would do ,but id be more honest but since your too nice as you claim why don't you tell her your wanting to take some college courses or you found a new hobby and every time she calls you can say id love to talk but i really got to study and this is important to me i hope you understand.And every time she wants to do something blow her off and in time she will get tired of that and she wont call as much or wanna come over then eventually she will just stop all together.Don't answer the door when she comes over, have someone lie to her and tell her you not home if she calls she will get the hint!!

Answer 6

You have an extremely needy person on your hands. Interrupt the conversation when you have had enough and explain that you need to go...and when the next call comes let her know you have only a minute or so then interrupt again after the time is up...eventually the person should get the message without you losing your friendship with them....being kind is always better...and as time goes on you will not lose a friend...but be valued by them in a better way than being remembered as someone who hurts people....good luck with it.

Answer 7

I would set some boundaries. I have this problem with some people, of course I am a wife and mother and have resposibilities to take care of . If you have caller ID - Dont answer every time she calls. when you do answer- give yourself a time limit and tell her firmly but nicely- I have to go and start dinner, take care of whatever, go somewhere - whatever- you dont have to lie but you have a life and resposibilities- you need to make this clear. Set some time aside for her, obviously she does not have great social skills and needs a friend but if you are not always readily available, she will learn to entertain herself or start making other friends. Suggest to her some activities she might like based on her hobbies and interests that she could attend and meet other people. Get yourself involved in a class or group and make yourself some plans for the summer. this will help ensure oyu are not always readily available - it will be good for you too!

Answer 8

Dear Jess, I desire there used to be an effortless reply to those problems. Money and the way it's dealt with has a tendency to be a foremost hassle in each Christian and non-Christian marriages. St. Paul reminds us in Ephesians five:21 that we're to put up ourselves to at least one a further within the worry of God. This is of path less difficult mentioned than performed. In my marriage, it has taken five years to plot a process that works for us and maintains cash disagreements to a minimal. I needed to deliver a bit of (I'm the saver) and she or he needed to deliver a bit of (she's the spender). Though our process isn't best, while 2 humans are inclined to paintings in combination there's desire. It is principal that BOTH of you arise with a plan for saving, spending, giving, and so forth. that you just each consider. Marriages be successful while the 2 of you're ready to express regret and forgive one a further. Then you'll paintings at the difficulty and now not each and every different! If you have got obstacle running a plan that you just each agree on, search your pastor's recommendation, a economic counselor's recommendation, or ship me an e-mail with a few extra specifics and I'll be comfortable to take a look at to support. In Christ Jesus, gloria-dei

Answer 9

I know how that feels someone who loves to be stuck to you like a leech. I had a friend like that a long time ago and I just stopped answering the phone to her and stopped talking to her after a while she'll get the picture. Don't feel bad because some people need to realize when they are just too annoying, you might be doing her a favor.

Answer 10

I know exactly what your talking about. I had the exact same thing happen to me. It got so bad. I just never picked up the phone... I would let my friends answer the phone... when they would pick up the phone they would just ask who was calling and if it was her they would say: "uhh, he is busy right now" or "he's not here right now"... after about two or three weeks of this... I think she started to get the point and started calling less and less... until it wasn't a problem any more. so I would recommend doing the same thing...