How do i know what made my husband cheat on me if he wont talk to me about it?

Question

we are still together but i feel he's only with me to be with someone im sure he's still cheating but i have no proof

i used to be a lively outgoing person and this really knocked my confidence I am not sure what he thinks of me because he doesnt talk about it anymore and i cant face talking to him about it as he just gets annoyed and makes me feel guilty

we barely touch each other now and the physical side is not very good at at all he doesnt want me that im sure

but i have had enough and although i do love him im not yet ready to give up on this marriage i just wish i knew why then if it was something to do with me icould put it right

Answer 1

Honey(not meant in a condesending way),if he won't talk he does'nt care.Ask him to go to counceling,if he does'nt want to work on your marriage suggest seperating & even divorce.I wasted over half my life trying to save a sinking ship by myself.Don't do the same.

Answer 2

YOU DON'T! And talking about what made him do it is only one of the things you need to do right now. First, don't have sex with him until he gets tested. Does he want to make the marriage work, do you? If you both want to make it work, then you should be the one making the demands, he has to give you what ever you need to make you feel right for staying with him after he cheated on you. Give him an ultimatum, tell him if he won't talk to you then it's over. Communication is very important in a relationship. If he won't give you what you need, talking, telling you where he is, what time, who else was there, what he did, then you need to end it. He may still be cheating and I'd say the odds are high since he won't talk to you. Don't let him get away with this crap. Make him talk and own up to what he did, if he does then maybe you can work it out if you both want to.

Answer 3

Maybe he has a Madonna/Whore complex and needs things from other women that he's too ashamed to admit to you.

Maybe he does not fancy you anymore and is trying to protect your feelings

Maybe his affair was about escaping his humdrum self and he does not want to tell you he feels a failure

Maybe he was fell hopelessly in love but chose you over her from honour / financial reasons, and so he can't admit this.

If you don't know then no-one on here can help, so don't be swayed by anything any one says. Just write a list of every conceivable reason, then from the way he is, acts and treats you, eliminate them one by one.

How sorry is he? How affectionate, communicative etc. Ask yourself whether if he stays exactly as he is, you'll be happy by his side forever.

If the answer is yes. Then draw a mental line and start looking forward, not back - afterall he chose you.

If the answer is no, then start looking for a B plan.

Answer 4

Here's what "made" your husband cheat on you: Your husband.

Nothing drives, forces, or makes a person decide to cheat on their partner; it is a choice that is made by some people, for reasons of their own. While something you have done, or did, or ARE, may have contributed to his decision to cheat, the ultimate choice was his -- he could have talked to you about your relationship, or about what was bothering him (whether it had anything to do with you or not), but instead he opted to cheat.

Now, if you're asking how you can find out why he made that decision when he won't tell you, then you're out of luck; only he knows (if he knows at all), and nobody else.

The deeper problem here is that you're not communicating. He did a bad thing, and it sounds like you're willing to forgive him if he'll just talk about why, but he won't. To be honest, it sounds like he wants to leave you, but doesn't have the guts, so he wants you to make the decision for you. It goes something like this:

Guy: I don't have the balls to break up, so I'll cheat on her and she'll leave me.

Girl: Oh, you've cheated on me and I'm angry, but we can work it out if you just talk to me about it.

Guy: Well, that didn't work, but she says talking will save our relationship -- which I don't want saved, so I'm going to refuse to talk to her and she'll leave me.

You get the idea.

Answer 5

why are you still there? and he cheated because he's a disloyal jerk. not because of anything you did or didn't do, this is about him and if you think the guy with the character to cheat is going to come to you and say hey baby i'm a disloyal jerk and you shouldn't trust me because i have issues you are waiting for something that will never happen. of course, your response to this says alot. you are waiting for him to give you a reason...really what reason could be good enough, is there any reason that would make it ok?

what are you waiting for? get out and start building yourself a real life. nobody is going to stick up for you if you don't start sticking up for yourself, as long as you allow him to do this he's going to keep doing it...and why shouldn't he? you are still there even though you know he's still cheating on you and you are still there even though he won't even offer so much as a lame explaination.

Answer 6

You need to get yourself back the way you were before you met him! Hes not important u are! Dont waste your time on him he would cheat on anyone hes a **** man! Dont even waste your breath ! men have sex when there weak and a gal put the moves on he gets excited and goes for it so get off tht is it me crap!Get dolled up look your best get out of your routine with him and get out with other people and youll find your going to be more attractive .Note needy people are not wanted its a sign of no respect for yourself so why would they have any! Go girl.....................

Answer 7

If he cheated ( meaning physical sex ) and he will not discuss it
Its time for you to get out. If he will not tell you why it happened and how it will never be repeated You have no chance of making the relationship work. Sadly, time to see the lawyer.

Answer 8

It doesn't matter why, it just happens. The real question here is what are you going to do about it? Are you going to work it out? Are you going to leave. Do one or the other, but don't waste time on what probably has no explanation.

Answer 9

Respect!!!!! He does not respect you as a person if he cheated and your dom enough to stay. Wake up your not that desperate for a man there's a lot of them that will treat you like your suppose to be treated.

Answer 10

If he wont talk to you about it how will you resolve this ? How will you be able to move on from it ? If he's not willing to talk or go to marital counselor you should bother trying to find out why.