im sitting here trying to figure out why im sitting here. i love my husband, and want to go home. we both stryed from the relationship, and we both want to be together. the man i am with now, well he threatens suicide, guilt trips me a ton. tells me he's lost everything because of me. which isn't the case i have. i left my job (2 different ones) to be with him, left my husband, my daughters, well they are with me when i am not working, and with their dad when hes not working so it works for us. and the BF isn't trusting. granted he's in the middle of a divorce, and brought his wife back 3 weeks ago, but says he realized then that shes not the one, and i am. what do i do?
2006-06-15 08:05:42 · 36 answers · asked by ckck1978 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
this is the email i JUST got from the boyfriend....I keep seeing you crying trying to leave me and me holding you down because I was scared to lose you. All I can think about is that she wanted to not be with me so much that she fought to get away from me, several times. And that you have tried to leave me so many times and given him so many chances. Seeing all this going on and what it's turning into, I just feel like I'm pulling you down the crap hole with me. I just feel like the harder we try to make this work the worse everything is going to get. I'm just being honest. Tell me if you think different
2006-06-15 08:24:05 · update #1
Leave the boyfriend for sure
If you love the husband, go back to him. But do it because it makes you happy...not because you feel "its for the best"...you left him once, so something must not be right with him.
If your still stuck, then email me
2006-06-15 08:09:34 · answer #1 · answered by icemanind 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your boyfriend doesn't trust you.........i guess he has some justification. but it sounds like he has problems that will only get worse as the relationship goes on. I'm not sure getting back with your husband is the answer. but staying with your boyfriend appears to be leading to a long road of misery. I'd seek counseling with your husband and go from there, whatever issues caused you to stray should be talked out with the help of an unbiased 3rd party. good luck!
2006-06-15 08:14:01 · answer #2 · answered by wiley c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend sounds like hes not in a good place to be in a relation ship right now. So either leave your boyfriend and be alone or go back to your husband. But either way you should leave your boyfriend!
2006-06-15 08:11:48 · answer #3 · answered by stmmay87 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this the example you want to set for your children? Remember, actions speak louder than words. Your daughters will grow up to have relationships like you. Do you want them to be with a guy who is cheating on his wife and threatening suicide all the time? Who would you want your daughters to pick?
I feel that the boyfriend needs to be history, no matter what you decide to do about the husband. If you and your husband want to try to work things out and you truly love each other, then that is probably what you should do. But, never stay together just for the sake of the kids. That never works and causes more problems than it solves.
No matter what you decide to do, you should keep your girls away from the psycho boyfriend. How would you feel if one of the girls found him after he tried to kill himself? You would never be able to forgive yourself and your kids would be damaged for life.
2006-06-15 08:24:47 · answer #4 · answered by MJL613 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am amazed by what I read here and at Yahoo in general...everyone here seems to think marriage is no more than going steady..! You are worried what a BOYFRIEND will do if you leave him. Get a grip! Your Boyfriend is a controll freak and that is his way of controlling your actions. IF he dies, he dies. You have a lot of repair work to do, and I suggest that IF you go back to your husband, you at least consider that Dating as you knew it is gone forever. This on again-off again stuff really does'nt get it. Grow up
2006-06-15 08:09:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is simple. Follow the right moral path. You will never go far wrong. Sounds like you have gotten into a lot of unnecessary problems. But don't worry, everything's not lost. You should just muster all your courage, leave the man, and return to your matrimonial husband and rebuilt the torn family that your children so badly need.
You can, and will do that.
2006-06-15 08:19:01 · answer #6 · answered by Philanthropist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Husband you already have a commitment with him and you have to keep the kids into consideration. Also the boyfriend has serious issues he needs worked out. Dont let him take you down with him. Sounds unhealthy and depressing also keep in mind your kids need a positive role model. Commiting suicide doesnt set that example.
2006-06-15 08:14:41 · answer #7 · answered by Im da Example 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you and ur husband both strayed and r in the process of working it out why wouldnt u give it ur all.. u both made a mistake and are both accepting it.. this other guy is putting a guilt trip on you, if he is going to hurt himself he's gonna do it no matter what sooner or later wheather it has to do w u or someone else. usually the ones who talk about it arent the ones u have to worry about its the others who dont share their feelings that do the deed...go back to ur husband and try to work this out get away from the other one he has his own issues he has to deal with u and ur children dont need that unstability...
2006-06-15 08:12:19 · answer #8 · answered by wildspirit1313 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the hell happened to common sence & respect for marriage?Do you hubby a favor & let him go.Do yourself a favor & leave thr BF.The best thing you can do is get your life & head straight before you try having another relationship.My answer might sound mean,but believe me if you listen you"ll thank me later.Good Luck.
2006-06-15 08:16:10 · answer #9 · answered by Troy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Husband sounds like the better deal
2006-06-15 08:09:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋