Will Swingers Clubs Ruin Our Marriage?

Question

My husband and I are thinking about going to a swingers club. We have set ground rules regarding the whole deal but I am worried that doing this may have a negative effect on our marriage (mostly worried about when we are in an argument or something). I should mention that one rule is no touching anyone else. We like to watch and be watched.

Answer 1

If you have both discussed this and set an agreed list of groundrules, then there should be no problems. These clubs were created for open consenting couples, who like to do exactly as you do. Sometimes they like to do more, but that is the beauty of it. Each couple only has to do what they are comfortbale with and nothing more. If you are secure in your relationship with your husband and it is something you BOTH want to do, I wouldnt worry.

However, I think you need to ask yourself if you are ready. You seem to be questioning the safety of this practice, so do you think this is somethign you really want to do. If you can ask yourself that and honestyly answer that YES you want to do this, for YOURSELF and not just your husband, then More power to ya!

Also, do you really think your husband is the type to throw something you both agreed upon in your face? These are questions you should ask yourself, and him.

You need to express these concerns to HIM. that is the only way you can ever be sure.

Answer 2

My wife and I didn't want to be swingers either. After a little time and husband/wife bonding...we are having fun with it. Consider the following.. First and foremost, if both of you have expressed an interest in the "swinger lifestyle" then that is the first step. Secondly you both need to talk about what you may or may not be interested in. Last but not least, be honest! My wife and I entertained the idea over a year ago. We started off really slow and talked openly (without judgments) and realized we had vivid sexual imaginations. So we visited a swing club. People at swing clubs are generally very respectful and very nice. Remember, there are other open minded people there and they have the same respect for your boundaries as you would have of theirs. We only played with each other our first time which was no disappointment by any means. It was nice to have good conversation with like minded adults and we also learned how much we were turned on by other good looking couples showing interest in us. You honestly can't get upset when you talk to a good looking couple and the man is checking out your wife..when you are more than likely checking out that mans wife..and so on. Just smile and be grateful that you two are considered "hot" Now, all you have to say at swinger clubs when others show an interest is "we are new to this and just checking things out, so right now we aren't ready" Case closed, you two will be respected for that. Swing clubs generally do not allow single men so the meat market effect should be non-existent. There will be plenty of opportunity for voyeurism if that's what interests you. My wife and I are in the swing lifestyle, we don't partake frequently. We like to have that kind of fun as we have time and desire. We are now considered a full swap couple. We have become much closer to each other and have a greater appreciation for one another as well. So it's been a positive experience for us. I would say go and have an open mind and have fun with your wife. Otherwise, there is plenty of porn on the internet to explore your sexual adventures.

Answer 3

Swingers Groups

Answer 4

Your rule will be broken within a short time. What you are starting is a workable arrangement only if you are both very secure in yourselves and each other. If there is ANY jealousy or insecurity, you are headed for a divorce sooner or later. What you are setting up is edging into swinging, for being watched and watching will get boring, then it will be a 3 some, then ....well, no telling where it will end, but that is entirely up to you and your husband. Just make sure you are going in with your eyes wide open, and why are you setting up rules???? You are either into the whole or your are not into any of it. Make up your minds BEFORE you start down the road. Good luck

Answer 5

It is highly likely it could. As long as you hold to your rule...if you just like watching and being watched - then it could be a huge turn on. But if either of you wander from the rule - which is a lot easier when you are IN a swingers club... it could really hurt your relationship.

Answer 6

yeah i would have to agree with the person that said get a webcam. myhusband and i have both been to a swingers club and we both enjoyed it throughly. but with all the other people that will be there, if you dont want someone else to touch your man, i dont think that i would do it. cause at these kinds of clubs anything goes, and it might be really hard for him to say no, expecially since the reason he is there is to get laid. i would say get a webcam, there are tons of people out there that will watch you two, and the best part is, he wouldnt even have the chance to touch anyone else.

Answer 7

A swingers club is to trade spouses. Its not for voyerism. Yes, it will probably ruin your marriage. Eventually the temptation may overcome you and your husband.

Answer 8

From what I've heard most swinger groups are about 'sharing' your spouses with other people, which is why I wouldn't ever do it. That would also kind of interfere with your no touching rule.

You may want to look into it a bit more.

Answer 9

I think my answer got a little chance to be read by u after all the counselling above but remember one thing, if u r really thinking of an idea like above then both of u probably r tired of ur present relationship/bonding and need a change. Also the doubt is created becoz both of u dont believe in each other. I do not wish to lecture u but for me marriage is not all about sex and romance. Marriage is a pious relationship that develops on trust. And ur craving for the idea above clearly reflects ur attitude towards a lovely institution like marriage. Therefore sweetheart, think before u leap. U can have various other options to explore ur hidden passion in married life.

Answer 10

The whole concept of doing the Swingers thing is to meet other people who you will potentially have sex with, with or without the knowlege and/or consent of your partner. If you want to just do some people watching, I would recommend doing it at a "safe" location, like your local night club.