My husband met an older woman through his work.She is in her 40's and he is 31.We have been married for 6 years and all through our marraige he has complained about me having guy freinds.He has also accused me of sleeping with them when I havent even touched them.So needless to say they are no longer freinds of mine! But now he has this new freind from work and sees nothing wrong with her calling and talking to him,or coming by the house to hang out. All they talk about is work at least in front of me.Whenever i try to change the conversation or start one with her,she ignores it and continues talking about work.He thinks im overreacting,but i think shes being rude and disrespectful considering I am his wife. She called him last night to tell him about another girl at work spreading rumors that shes sleeping with other men and how she went to the boss and made a complaint. If I can have guyfreinds then he can have girlfreinds,if I cant then he cant! What do you think?
2006-06-15 07:50:41 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
uh, why do either of you need your own friends of the opposite sex? Any friends me and Hubby have, are both our friends, (usually other cpls) but we never have over friends of the opposite sex that we are both not friends with. He is 'friends' with everyone @ his work, (male and female) but never hangs with them other than at lunch, or the 1-2 times a yr their is a work party, or Christmas party, both of which I go to with him. One chick tried to get some alone time with him, but he told her no. (this was a few yrs back) I know what she was trying to do and it made me mad as heck, but he thinks she meant nothing by it. Wrong! Guys are very naive sometimes. Sounds to me like she's trying to wedge herself in there. I wouldn't suggest you getting a 'friend' too, I would suggest counciling to figure out why either of you feels the need for seperate friends. I can totally relate though, cause men always assume if you talk about another guy, (like oh so and so did this) or whatever, even when it's nothing, just you mentioning another guy's name, even in telling a story, makes them think you want the guy. But yet they can't see that when a woman hangs on to their every word (like she appears to be) or tries to spend time with a married man, that she is up to no good. A good councelor may be able to help him see that. Make sure you go to one that believes in manogomy though, because I know there are some strange councelors out there that swing and all that though, (saw one on Montel) so be careful where you go. I would definitely put an end to it, though.now.
2006-06-15 08:04:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you completely. Men ALWAYS have a double standard. I think your best bet would be to try and re-connect with those old guy friends of yours. Sitting there complaining to him is only going to open the door for him to say things like, dont be so jealous or your overreacting. The only way he will learn is to live it himself. Whats good for the goose is good for the gander.
2006-06-15 07:55:39 · answer #2 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should first talk to your husband. Its only fair if he doesn't want you to have guy friends, then he shouldn't have female friends. Needless to say, regardless of the sex of the person-RESPECT is one of the many things that should always be apart of any relationship. If this woman can't respect your position as his wife- your husband shouldn't allow such a thing, stop all unnecessary communications.
2006-06-15 07:59:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a hypocrite. He is a jealous whining baby. As long as your friends and his friends only come over when the other spouse is there. There should be no problem of trust. He gets to meet and get to know your friends and you his too. By listening to each other spouse's interaction with friends, both spouses might be able to learn more about each other.
2006-06-15 08:19:03 · answer #4 · answered by maybf22000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Amen, i'm having a similar problem with my GF(5 yrs). She is spending way too much time w/ this dude, but he's way younger than us.. and kinda ugly and outa shape so i'm not too worried, but it still bothers me. Yeah I don't know where to draw the line on this one, it's a difficult question and I think the answer is a relationship to relationship problem. Sry ur in this boat too... =(
2006-06-15 07:56:05 · answer #5 · answered by stratocastinator 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he completely pulled a double standard on you. Try to gently remind him about how he felt about you having guy friends and explain that even though nothing may be going on, it really bothers you and you dont think it is fair. Explain to him (calmly) that she makes you feel left out of their converstation. Dont say mean things about her like calling her names but explain how this behavior makes you feel. To him, it may not be a big deal because he doesn't understand why it is a big deal to you. Even though it is obvious to you, it may not be so obvious to him. Try not to make a big argument out of the situation but explain how you feel about it. If that doesn't work I would try talking to her and telling her that you have nothing against her, but when she is around and all they talk about is work, it makes you feel left out. Tell her if she is going to be a friend of your husband's you would like to be a part of it, but you feel excluded.
2006-06-15 07:56:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you and your hubby have communication and trust issues. Perhaps joint marriage counseling?
2006-06-15 07:54:00 · answer #7 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Re-open your guy friend relationships...he can't complain now can he?
2006-06-15 07:55:13 · answer #8 · answered by Mandalawind 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah it sounds really unfair, maybe try and talk to him about it. good luck
2006-06-15 07:56:37 · answer #9 · answered by laurennn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You Are So RIGHT get some guy friends GET REVENGE!!!! lol
2006-06-15 07:59:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋