im looking for something.. is it God, is it friends, another man?

Question

i am so lost and alone. i keep trying to find happiness in superficial things. i've tried spirituality before and also ended up hurt. what is missing in my life? im 25 years old and scared.

Answer 1

You are looking for your self-confidence, and it's definitely there. It's just that our world can cause you to lose focus and it seems like one is lost in that pool. The good news is that you are WAY ahead in the game, because you already are asking this question at 25. Many people never ask your question of themselves, or ask well into their 50's or 60's when it is very hard to teach an old dog new tricks.
The reason you probably feel scared is the same reason a lost child in a department store starts to cry when they realize they can't find their mom or dad. Being lost is scary at any age.
Nothing is really missing from your life, so don't be fooled into thinking you are missing something when you are scared. It is scary, at any age, to become a more complete person and question your values and beliefs.
The hardest work we ever do is self-improvement and you are headed in the right direction. Look within, and see the power you have to ask such a question of yourself. You may find that hidden self-confidence starts to emerge, and you will feel better knowing that it is OK to be scared, yet remain confident that you will achieve your goals.
Rock On.

Answer 2

First Presidency Message
Our Search for Happiness
By President James E. Faust
Second Counselor in the First Presidency

I wish to discuss our search for happiness. Having lived quite a few years now, I have concluded that since we don’t always desire that which is good, having all our desires granted to us would not bring us happiness (see Alma 41:3–7). In fact, instant and unrestrained gratification of all our desires would be the shortest and most direct route to unhappiness. The many hours I have spent listening to the tribulations of men and women have persuaded me that both happiness and unhappiness are much of our own making.

As the Prophet Joseph Smith told us, “Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 255–56).

The more faithfully we keep the commandments of God, the happier we will generally be.

Although “men are, that they might have joy” (2 Ne. 2:25), this does not mean that our lives will be filled only with joy, “for it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things” (2 Ne. 2:11). Happiness is not given to us in a package that we can just open up and consume. Nobody is ever happy 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Rather than thinking in terms of a day, we perhaps need to snatch happiness in little pieces, learning to recognize the elements of happiness and then treasuring them while they last.

Pleasure is often confused with happiness but is by no means synonymous with it.

What is happiness? Where do we find it? How do we obtain it? I remember reading the results some time ago of a national survey which attempted to summarize the responses as to what brings happiness.

While I don’t remember all the details of that survey, I do remember that most people felt money was a significant part of happiness. The author’s research, however, indicated that money alone seldom, if ever, resulted in true happiness.

Two thoughts come to mind here. I recall a talk given by President David O. McKay. He made reference to a statement by John D. Rockefeller—then one of the world’s richest men—who apparently had stomach trouble and had purportedly said, “I would rather be able to enjoy a good meal than have a million dollars.” Then with a wink of the eye, President McKay remarked, “Of course, he had a million dollars when he said that.”

I readily concede that it’s important to have sufficient money for our needs, but beyond that, money has little to do with true happiness. Often it is the work and sacrifice one experiences in obtaining money for a worthwhile purpose that produces the most satisfaction.

Answer 3

We have to take life as it comes. As with some of the answers that I have seen, I do not want to feed you with propaganda. Honestly, when someone looks deep inside, we do find that something is always missing, someone is always missing something...this important to know. The things that you seek are not from other world. We all look towards in some fashion or another, for a cosmic connection fulfills us totally. We also seek a partner to go through life and connect with these experiences on, and friends to balance out the good and times with. However, I recommend that you seek internal peace. You have to get use to the fact that as you seek for a bigger meaning of things, alone may be something that you'll quite alike, no matter how many people actually surround for. Be happy with you, not to sound cheesy, but there is no one like you. Go with the flow of life, things are not good for you, just because they make you feel safe, let it go, like with superficial things. But dont go over board, buy yourself something you like once in a while if it makes you feel good, not for what other people will say, thats the major difference. Good luck.

Answer 4

You have to find happiness from within (sorry if that sounds new age-y!). I went through a similar experience just chasing after things, and longing to find the right woman, and getting really stressed and depressed. And then eventually I realized I was the only one responsible for me being happy, and just decided to do the things I wanted to that made me happy and not worry about what the rest of the world was doing or thought. And it was great; a true load off my mind.
Don't force your happiness to come. Just think aobut the things in your life that give you joy and pursue those. Everything else will take care of itself.
I hope things work out for you!

Answer 5

I'll go out on a limb and say you're looking for Love. And by that, I don't mean another man.

God is Love. Find Him. I'm sorry if you were hurt along the way by those representing Him because people are people. They go their own way most of the time thinking they are right but not realizing the delusion they live in or the people they hurt.

Yes, it seems scary especially after many have used and scarred you. But there is true Love waiting for those to find. Seek and open your heart to Love and Truth and you'll find what you're looking for, whether it be yourself, someone else or divine.

Godspeed, girl. Godspeed...

Answer 6

You need to get involved in something that benefits others. Once you do that, it will help you in ways you cannot even imagine. You will get much more than you give. It will even provide with new friends who are genuine, not superficial. Look into Habitat for Humanity, or some other form of volunteer work. The Peace Corps might be perfect for you. This will give your life meaning.

Answer 7

I don't know what kind of "spirituality" you've tried in the past, but the only true happiness you'll find in life is through Jesus Christ. People are not perfect and they will hurt you, even Christian people. But Jesus will never hurt you, He'll never leave you, and He is a friend that sticks closer than a brother! My advice to you is to try to find a church where you live that is sound in Biblical doctrines, and willing to accept you where you're at in life.

Answer 8

Hey I have been there before.. The answer for that is God.. He is the only one that can fill that void in your life, not men or friends.. They might help it for a minute but it will always come back cause it will always be there intill you find God.. Justt find a good Christian church.. I dont know where you live but I go to the Potters House church and we have alot of them everywhere.. We preach straight from the bible.. If you want to fill the void before you even go to a church Just say to God,,,,,,,, God come into my heart forgive me for all my sins and be my lord and my saviour.. Then tell him anything else you want.. You will feel the lonelyness go away.. Then go find a Good church to help you through all that.. Thats what I can tell you I know from being there myself..

Answer 9

I would suggest to try God again. He will give you a 2nd chance. He did me and know my life is awesome. It might be you thinking that you do need a man because you are 25 and beacuse everybody has one by now but just don't hurry things up. The time will come when it comes.

Answer 10

whats missing is a sense of you! WHO ARE YOU?>??? Are you optimistic, engergetic... are you successful, are you ignornant, deciteful. Find out what things you want, need and appreciate in life. life will never be found in things you can buy or obtain, life can only be found within life, within the depths of the soul.

Maybe you need to write about it, speak to a counselor.


If you are young, this may just be a stage that you are going though, you mentioned another man..... some of your feels may stem from you not knowing exactly what you want. Try it.. see.. maybe you not really wanted the world to know who you are is what is holding you back.

best of luck friend... peace and love...msb