am i making the right decision?

Question

i going to leave my man he is a control freak and an instigater ha makes up mens names and asks who they are sense day one he thought i was seeing someone other than him every no name or privatecaller private or out of area he starts a fight w me is the saying true the accuser the guilty party we have had physicly abuseuve inseidenseshes a he tries to say if i leave im ******* our sons life up he down plays the reson im leaving too he says that i leaving just cause hes tired and has too go to work or cause some little bs thats not true hes a mysreable jerk even if were out camping or some where "TRING"to have a good time he finds something to gripe about is his mental hange ups my fault or my problem or do you think its cool for me to leave hem like this or should i stay and help him he is27 yrs im24 yrs i have 2 kids to rase should i rase him 2 to be a mature adult i dont have the patiens to i care for him bbut he has abused my fillens anough i
just need a out siders view

Answer 1

Decipher:
I'm going to leave my man, he is a control freak and an instigator. He makes up names of different men and asks me who they are. He has done this since the first day he thought I was seeing someone else. He starts a fight with me everytime he sees an unknown call on the phone. *Undecipherable* I have had several incidences of physical abuse. He tries to tell me that if I leave him I will be screwing up our son's life. He also dismisses the reasons for me leaving. He says that I am leaving because he is too tired from working or something else. I think he's a miserable jerk, even when we are out trying to have a good time he starts a fight. His mental hang ups are not my problem. Do you think that I should leave him or stay and help him? He is 27 and I am 24. I have 2 children to raise, should I have to raise him as well? He needs to be a mature adult, I do not have the patience to care for him and he has hurt my feelings. Its enough, and I would like your perspectives.

Would that be accurate?

Answer 2

Yes, you are making the right decision. It is far worse on children to be raised in an abusive environment than to deal with parents breaking up. The 'control freak' behaviors you are describing are part and parcel of classic domestic violence; so are his excuses. People get tired and stressed and are perhaps less patient than usual, but it is NEVER an excuse to be controlling or abusive.
You CANNOT help him. It will take therapy - and group therapy with other men who are seeking to take responsibility for their own behavior and won't let him get away with BS - for him to change. His problems are not your fault. His behavior is not your problem and I suggest leaving, getting some counseling for domestic violence victims, and furthering your own interests and education.