How long does it take for a woman to get back to her pre-pregnancy weight? Part question and part rant.?

Question

Our 2nd child was born 8 months ago. My wife mentioned one day,"It could take 9 months to lose all this weight". I remember thinking it could take 4 months if she worked at it, but I knew better than to say anything ;).

Now it's 8 months later. There won't be some miracle in the next 30 days. I feel bad, but I also feed bad for feeling bad. The bits of Oprah and Dr. Phil I watch have told me people need to lose weight for themselves and not for other people. I see her put cheese on eggs, ranch on everything, midnight snacks AND she eats more quantity and more often than I do. Seems like she doesn’t care about getting back in shape.

She is 5’3” and went from 130 to almost 180. I was never looking for a Size 4 but, damn, she’s outgrown TWO sets of clothes since we met. My (secret) rule for women has always been “no woman with a gut bigger than mine”. She is way past that and I don’t know what to do. I am not comparing her to other women. I am comparing her to HER, just 3 yrs ago.

Only had 1000 characters to work with at first. #1 She went to Bally's for like two weeks and then stopped. I never EVER bailed on watching the kids when she said she needed to go work out. #2 I don't have a gut and I am the same size as I was since college c/o '93. #3 I am not going to have an affair and I am not going to leave. #4 I have never said anything to her directly or by hints about her weight. #5 If I went bald then that would be beyond my control. If I grew a gut then I'd be at Bally's or at least cutting the intake.

More details: Mom watches the kids and I am the primary cook so it's not like she is a housewife slaving all day around the house. She has an easy office job with Thursdays off. I make reasonable-sized portions of healthy food and I know it's not the cooking that contributes to the weight gain. My issue is that she makes sure that not a hair is out of place on her head, but she doesn't show the same concern for herself below the neck. Hours at the beauty shop and discussions about hair. Like who cares about hair when your gut is bigger than mine? She speaks of losing weight when she was single. That means she must've looked at herself in the mirror at some point and decided to get in shape to get a guy. Now it doesn't seem to be that big of a priority. I consciously decide not to go back for seconds or Supersize it or eat before going to bed. She used to have the same kind of priorities, but not any more...

Answer 1

You insensitive A$$. She just gave you another precious life and you are thinking about her weight. Why don't you try having a baby for a selfish A$$ then have him rag on your weight. Go ask a doctor about this. It typically takes a year for a woman's body to even heal from child birth. And it took her 9 months to develop a baby so why the hell do you think it would take her half that time to lose the weight. How would you feel if your little girl just had a baby with some man who is supposed to love and cherish and you saw him ragging on her not just ragging on her but ragging on her on the net to complete strangers. Are you still you from 3 years ago change is a part of life! You didn't vow to love her as long as she doesn't get too big for your pleasing from being pregnant with your child. And as you get older it is harder for you to lose weight, you feel so strongly about her losing weight stay home with the kids, drop her off at the gym and cook all the healthy meals that you can think of. I am pretty sure you do not have as much hair as you once had or something has changed about you that she wished hadn't changed. (which more than likely your attitude.) What if she comes on here and says my lazy husband cant keep it up long enough to please how do i get him to take Viagra?

Answer 2

Well, I have 3 children and am 5'3" - 30 yrs old. I have a 3 year old and I am just NOW back to my pre preg weight (125). A lot of it was self-esteem, I was unhappy and just didn't care (although I had only 15 baby pounds to lose).

A lot could depend on her age too. It sounds like she has very low self-esteem and that is hard to overcome and with that she might not care about getting back into shape - it just doesn't overrule the desperation she feels. You are right, she has to want to lose weight for herself and she will not lose it until then. She should join a gym, suggest that as something you could do together. It might be out of the question financially but a trainer could help her work toward her goals and have someone besides as a cheerleader on the sideline. If you can't get a trainer work WITH her.

Answer 3

Well I am 5'2 and when I delivered my 2nd, I weighed close to 190lb. It took about 1 year to lose the weight. I had to want to do it. She will have to cut her calorie in take, and try to at least go for walks and do little things, like leg lifts and stuff. Most of women who gain weight, don't realize that it is water weight. NO soda pops!!! Drink water. I did it so I know it can be done. I weigh 119lb. and where a size 2. I have weighed the same for 6yrs. It's a way of life to eat right. Once you realize that it's not hard to lose weight and keep it off. Not, to mention if you are supportive that might help.

Answer 4

First you have to take in consideration how much weight did she gain when she was pregnant? Also it is harder to loose baby weight with the second child. You need to exercise with her, go for walks with the kids, offer to cook and fix healthy dinners. You have to encourage her.

I am trying to figure out why this is such a big concern of yours this is your wife, she has given you two children and you are concerned about her weight just 8 months after having a baby. That is probably why she hasn't lost the weight yet she is probably depressed, most woman eat more when they are depressed. This is the last thing you should be worried about, you might want to make sure she is ok.

Answer 5

well good fortune.....I used to be five'three and a hundred forty five whilst I obtained pregnant with my first. I did not devour excessively for the duration of my being pregnant however by some means I controlled to weigh 202 the day my son used to be born. Now after my moment little one I am at a hundred and fifty, however nonetheless none of my pre being pregnant garments will are compatible. Your frame shall be another form. Your hips shall be wider. It is particularly tough to shed some pounds after having a child in spite of cautious vitamin and pastime. My principal difficulty used to be stretch marks and additional dermis. I'll by no means see a bikini once more in my lifetime. Hope you're competent to achieve what you wish however my recommendation is to only revel in your child and now not fear such a lot. It will take you practically a yr to get again to wherein you wish to be. Most of in order to be considering the fact that you will not have the time or vigor to pastime (who needs to determine after breastfeeding an boy or girl each and every three-four hours across the clock) You'll mostly pick to make use of a while dozing alternatively. My motto is "It is what it's..." My frame is not precisely like I'd love it to be, however I have 2 lovely youngsters and that's what counts. additionally, I have a Mirena and the hormone may not motive you any disorders. The quantity of it's rarely whatever in any respect.

Answer 6

Just tell her you are scared for her health. She's no longer eating as healthy as she used to and it worrys you. Being overweight can lead to diabetes, higher cholesterol, and make her more tired than before. You want to help her get more healthy and start walking more. You have a gut you wanna get rid of and hope that she'll walk with you and eat better around you to help you both. Don't mention size or weight. It'll put her on the defensive and hurt her. Just mention health. If you do it together, it would be great for ya'll and your marriage. You might also start going with her when she gets groceries and add more fruits and veggies and less cookies and sweets. If you eat better too, it won't look like you are doing a double standard and expecting her to eat a banana while you eat cake.

Answer 7

Let me reassure you that you don't need to make any comments or suggestions to your wife. We don't like to hear it! So, you are right in not doing that. Trust me, your wife is aware that she has gained weight during pregnancy. It is extremely hard to get the weight off. I'm sure your wife is exhausted after watching the children, cleaning the house, doing laundry, dishes, etc. She probably doesn't feel like going to the gym and working out. I can honestly say the best thing a husband can do is share in household responsibilities: help her around the house, prepare meals, etc. You don't know how much wives appreciate their husbands for things like that. All I'm saying is, the easier you can make her life, the more energy and time she will have to take care of herself. Best of luck.

Answer 8

sounds like you're selfish s.o.b.i've had three kids and i lost after the first two but having a hard time with this one.let her enjoy her self in this life.she''l see it and when she relizes it she'll slow down on the eating. if you keep on her she'll only get insacure bout herself and then she'll never lose it or if she does it won't be healthy. try exersizing and encourage her to do it with you. she may not at first but she will. or if she starts then slows down, you have to keep going and she'll slowly get back on track with you. just dont do something you know she can't do. you have to find something you can do together or else it defetes the perpose of you even trying to get her out there. stop making this bout you. make it about her then you'll she it worked for the both of you. you help her gain the weight by getting her pg

Answer 9

Give her a goddamn break. You should love her for who she is and not how you wish she looked. When you got her pregnant you should have had some idea about the weight gain. She probably still has hormones going out of control from the pregnancy. Stop being so childish.

Answer 10

I realize that you came on here and were trying to get some honest answers, and are instead getting only a few of those & a lot of hateful replies. I just wanted to say give it some more time, not trying to be mean/hateful but it is HARD, HARD, HARD to diet. I know I have been there and done that. If you say anything to her Im sure she will probably be VERY upset with you. Just a warning....lol...Anyways have a nice day.