My Sweet Love
I let my imagination
Take control
I close my eyes
And become one with his soul
I reach the land
Where I am meant to be
I open my eyes
And this is what I see…
I am with him
On a wintry night
There’s a pleasant breeze
Just no one in sight.
The stars are twinkling
High above
Only they seem to know
How much we are in love
We are chatting and chatting
Its and endless talk
Can’t seem to hold back
As we slowly walk.
Cold and shivering one minute
All hot and bothered the next
Don’t know what’s happening
Am searching for a pretext.
Suddenly we fell silent
As a car rushed past
Our eyes met for a split second
My heart was beating so fast.
A shooting star lighted up the sky
And together upon it, we wished
He gently put his arms around me
And upon my lips he kissed.
My feet was turning all wobbly
My head was becoming all fuzzy
As a sweet sensation spreading through me
Was making everything else hazy.
“What’s the matter?” you ask me
And it’s only then I realize
I had been staring at you, from the last bench
With a look of sweet surprise.
2006-06-15 06:28:48 · 19 answers · asked by sweet soul 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
No bull but I like your words, were it shorter could be the beginnings of a good song and if u want to send me an email
Apart from that excellent!!
The shooting star lit up the sky etc:::starter for ten
2006-06-15 07:55:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
i give it an 8 out of 10
2006-06-15 06:33:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lovely Quatrains, I give u a 10. U need to improve your rhyming scheme.
2006-06-18 17:53:53 · answer #3 · answered by Lee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from 1-10 i rate your poem a 9 it's very good!
2006-06-15 06:33:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the best poem I have read on Yahoo answers!Good job!
2006-06-15 07:36:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a very good poem. I like poems that rhyme, I think they are harder to write. I think you did a good job. Very descriptive.
2006-06-15 06:35:22 · answer #6 · answered by Marc S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't heard any Vogon poetry for ages. Thankfully.
2006-06-15 06:34:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds good
a couple corrections:
"a shooting star lighted up the sky" to "a shooting star lit up the sky"
"my feet was turning all wobbly" to "my feet were turning wobbly"
2006-06-15 06:34:38 · answer #8 · answered by Roz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a sweet poem
2006-06-15 06:32:08 · answer #9 · answered by GuRiYa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that was a stupid poem and a sappy one a well!
2006-06-15 06:54:30 · answer #10 · answered by KS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋