I have been married for 1 yr. now and I do not have a sex drive. I have been to my dr. and he said there is nothing wrong with me. I am doing good to have sex with my husband 2 times a month if that. I am not bad looking at all, I have been told i look real good for a mother of 2. I am not overweight by any means. What is wrong with me? Help I am desperate. It is affecting my marriage.
2006-06-15 05:50:25 · 23 answers · asked by snoopy041824 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You might consider counseling to see what emotional issues might be effecting you. High levels of stress, at home or work, or anywhere, can effect your libido. So can you sexual relationship. And you might be at a point now where your husband is pressuring you (you say it is effecting your marriage) or you might be putting undue pressure on yourself!!
The more the pressure builds up, the less likely you are to perform for fear of "failure". If you feel desperate about it, chances are you are starting to pressure yourself to perform, and it's no fun when it feels like an obligation, or a duty!
I really think a few sessions with a professional can help you get to the root of your problems...they might not be biological... they might be emotional.
2006-06-15 05:55:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your a busy mom of 2 kids, your tired, and probably don't get alot of help around the house. It's very possible your just to tired to care. Talk to your husband and see if you can work part time, or if he can help you more. Set aside a certain time EVERY week to have some type of sex (oral,sex, or just touching each other) The more you have it, the more you seem to want it. I think your just tired. Get away for the weekend at a hotel with a hot tub, take lots of lube and have sex all weekend. It won't change, unless you want it to.
Maybe HE needs to touch you throughout the day, kiss you for now reason, grab your butt when no is looking, whisper in your ear. If he starts early in the day, by bed time you'll be so wet you won't hardly make it. Put the kids to be no later then 9:30 EVERYnight. (even weekends) print this out and let him read the answers
2006-06-15 07:18:46 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant tell you what is wrong, but I do know that the person that says get it back soon or he will look else where is not so right. If you can't give him enough sex, make sure you give him enough love, attention, and affection. Allot of that stuff goes along way with a guy, with me anyway and men, yes men, like all that gushy stuff too, we just won't tell anyone.. Sex is great, love it, need it, don't get enough of it, but all the little thing matter just as much. You will have sex more often, quit counting the days in between, that could be a problem too. GOOD LUCK!
2006-06-15 06:26:12 · answer #3 · answered by Andy S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communicate with your husband. I was reading an article in a magazine the other day about sex between married couples. The ones that have a happy sex life are the ones who communicate with their partners. talking about different positions or toys or whatever it is that turns you on. If you know of something you have always wanted to try talk to your husband. And don't fall into a routine, where you know where, how and when you are going to have sex. That gets boring. When the kids are away for a night, try a new room, living room, kitchen, where ever!! just add some new things into your sex life and see what you come up with!
2006-06-15 05:56:03 · answer #4 · answered by curious_weebz06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your probably a little depressed with life right now or your husband maybe has said a few things that bothered you. Usually, its the other way around where men have a sex drive in their earlier years and then men lose it but then women hit their sex drive once they start to get older so the situation is kinda wierd. If your husband really loves you he's going to understand that either physically or emotionally you just don't feel like "doing it."
2006-06-15 05:54:10 · answer #5 · answered by thehereyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there are problems between you and your husband then your sex drive will be affected. If you can't stand the man then the last thing you want to do is make love to him. My wife and I have been married for 10+ years. The sex is really good when our relationship is good. And likewise when we are fighting or mad at each other than the sex and the sex drive is bad.
2006-06-15 05:58:12 · answer #6 · answered by IAmDamon1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you taking antidepressants? Because they can lower sex drive. Other reasons are stress, tireness or just routine. Ask you husband to go away for the weekend with you without the kids! Also, I've read that even if you don't feel like it, you should "just do it" and the sex drive will improve. Good luck!
2006-06-15 07:18:55 · answer #7 · answered by Belindita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you on any anti depressants?
Have you added any medications or herbs to your diet?
Have you been feeling depressed?
What would excite you right now? A trip, a massage, a night with the girls, shopping, anything?
Any yes answer to the first 3 questions is most likely your answer.
If you give 3 no answers, then there is something else missing.
Is there anything that turns you on the your husband doesn't or won't do?
Is there something about your husband that has changed or turned you off?
We need total honesty from you, total honesty.
Please comment for further advise.
2006-06-15 06:06:14 · answer #8 · answered by Nick R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this same problem at the beginning of my marriage. I don't know what the problem was either. We tried new things and they worked for a little while. Then I just waited and eventually it came back.
I can only suggest to you to try new things in the bedroom. Do things that you have never done before. Whether it be a different position or watching a porno or roleplaying. If all else fails, you will just have to wait. I believe that it will come back eventually. Hang in there!
2006-06-15 05:58:37 · answer #9 · answered by Babyred 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you and your husband should try new things such as role playing, food, ect... Plus you also have to remember that you are a mother of two and that can make anyone too exhausted to have sex. Being a mom and a wife is a big job but remember to always put your husband first and also plan a "date night" to bring the romance back into your relationship.
2006-06-15 05:55:03 · answer #10 · answered by rosie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋