For the guys.. How can I?

Question

How can I get my husband to feel my sexual desires are important enough for him to fulfill whether he gets anything out of it or not? What other sexual outlets are there for me? He says he doesn't have to get to give but I don't get!!!.
So I am left very frustrated and sexually deprived which leads into question two. While self touching is what it is because I use my husband in my fantasies it makes me want to be with him qreatly. I will not go to porn sites, do cyber sex, phone sex or physically cheat as I feel all these things are wrong when you are with someone so what is left for me as an outlet?.

Thanks guys, I didn't see anything that I could try as I have talked and talked til I am blue in the face. I am not going to do a woman, he would never go to counseling on something like this and giving him a lap dance would be a waste of my time he isn't into this. NO!! he isn't seeing anyone else and he says I look fine. Thanks again, I will keep searching for ways to get through to him though until I have had enough and divorce him. Maybe there's a pill out there I can take to stop having sexual feelings for my partner..

Answer 1

You are going to have to do something to get his attention again. Take control of your sexlife if he isn't going to. But remember the things that turn you on are not necessarily the same things that will turn him on.

Try something slutty and vocal. We men are all eyes and ears. Try turning off the TV just long enough to give him a lap dance in your favorite lingerie. I promise the TV will not come back on for an hour or so.

Answer 2

sorry I am a gal, but I had the same problem with my X husband of 26 years. Sex was a chore for him. And he really didn't seem to enjoy it. I need it, adore it. It was one of the reasons that I left him.
What did I learn? Before I have another long term relationship, especially if I remarry, I would make sure that person has a similuar level of sexual need and desires. I would also request that person to agree that if the sex life ever becomes dead, both people will agree to counseling, medication and do everything possible to bring back the sexual energy. I would even put it in writting.
Cheating isn't the answer. Tell your husband that you have these needs and to please respect the marriage promises. If he won't budge then you need to figure out the next step.
I used to read tons of romance novels. But, the best thing I ever did was leave the marriage. I believe that marriage is a life time commitment. So I did everything in my power to make things work. When that didn't help I moved on with no regrets. His behavior sinse I left proves that I did the best thing.

Answer 3

As a woman answering this question & in the same situation for a while. Masterbation is not a bad thing and watching a porno isn't either. If he is truly faithful to you wait him out eventually he will find u desirable again in the meen time make yourself busy & unattainable to him this will drive him crazy. Also when it comes down to it it also matters how long you will put up w/not getting any. Eventually u will realize that u have changed and need to rediscover your hot spots so he can too!!

Answer 4

Wow I feel for your situation. You really need to talk to him and I know that you said you have already but try again. Also when you are intimate stop when he is really to finish and let him know that is how you feel all the time. Leave him unsatisfied a time or two and he will come around. If not you need to seriously consider if this is the way you want to live the rest of your life. Good luck

Answer 5

Not a guy, but thought i would help ya a little. He needs a physical to make sure all parts are workin correctly. You should read up on sexual positions, find the one that rocks your world first. Then, roll over and begin to snore.. Maybe he will get the hint. A selfish lover is the worst thing. My hubby didnt know how hurtful it was to ignore my needs until i told him. Now its a running joke when i say ME FIRST!! ME FIRST!! Get a B.O.B. sit it on your nightstand, when hes done finish yourself off. I'm sure he will get the message. Take care hun hope someof this works for you!!

Answer 6

find some other activity to do around the him, that separates the time you use to spend with him. Make it, a hobby that you find interest in, but it has to be something you do alone, and needs your all or a majority of your attention! And it could be reading sultry adult love stories, and if your in to it, and you start late night chats that you read about, it might peak his interest. And if this does not work, go to an adult store buy a toy, and let him purposely catch you in a moment of pleasure, then maybe, just maybe he will enjoy it and join in, or he just might want to discuss
your situation, where you can voice your displeasure!

Answer 7

Your sexual desires not important?...That's because you next to him all the time and he knows he doesn't have to go extra mile for you anymore so my suggestion is ...Go to Lovers Lane store and you find a lot of useful stuff:)You don't need Viagra just try Spanish Fly , try aroma oils new sexy lingerie but before you proceed with everything...Don't sleep in the same bed for a couple of days. Make him desire you!!! It will bring out animal in him.You don't have to give him reason why are you not sleeping with him just say you don't know:).
Also you can try to start without him before you go to bed(go to the bathroom take vibrator with you and..)so when you go to bed you half there.Don't tell him what to do all the time just enjoy it.Tell him your fantasies but don't push him, eventually he 'll know if you satisfied there is more in to it for him.
But believe me if you won't change anything in your routine than everything will stay the same and eventually you will want out of it.
Good Luck.
P.S. I hope my suggestions are not too much for you but you have to be prepared.

Source: my friends(sharing helps to resolve problems)

Answer 8

Unfortunately it's the luck of the draw. Believe it or not, some of us would rather pleasure our women than ourselves. For us it takes a lot of energy , and lasts only moments. Even if we're capable of seconds or thirds or fourths, each time is the same.
But watching the incredible long lasting (and sometimes even incapacitating) effects on some women is a fascination not be missed. For me and others like me it extends our excitement in the act for one heck of a long time. And with a woman who can achieve bliss again and again, wow!

So, for me (and others like me) it's "You first". And again........and again. And its never any problem to eventually get there ourselves. And maybe again.........and again.

But guys who don't feel that way probably never will. Some of us get more when we give more. Others can only take. Wish I knew what to suggest in your present situation...............but I never believed a Tiger could change his stripes.

Answer 9

WELL I'M NOT A GUY, BUT I'M GONNA RESPOND ANYWAY. SINCE YOU DO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR HUSBAND, BUT HE'S JUST NOT CUTTING IT MAYBE YOU SHOULD CONSIDER BRING IN SEX TOYS. I MEAN I'VE SEEN THESE THINGS THAT YOU STRAP ON THE GUY, KINDA LIKE A PENIS RING AND IT HAS A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR YOUR UH......... CLITORIS. AND HE'S HAPPY AND YOU'RE GETTING IT GOOD LIKE YOU NEED TOO! SO YOU'RE BOTH HAPPY.

I'M NOT TRYING TO BE NASTY OR ANYTHING, BUT IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA CHEAT AND HE'S DAMN LUCKY TOO, THEN YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET SATISFIED AND HE SHOULD FREAKING PROVIDE YOU WITH THAT! EVEN IF HE NEEDS SOME HELP!

EITHER THAT OR LIKE YOU SAID, ONE DAY YOU'LL LEAVE. BUT IF THAT'S EVEN AN OPTION, WHY DO YOU BOTHER TO STAY NOW. I MEAN YOU'VE TALKED TO HIM TILL HE'S BLUE IN THE FACE AND BLAH BLAH BLAH, HE'S NOT CHEATING. AGAIN, IT AMAZES ME HOW SOME PEOPLE CAN SO BE SO SURE OF SOMETHING LIKE THIS! BUT HEY THAT'S YOUR BUSINESS. GOOD LUCK TO YOU.

Answer 10

Ok....I really want to know how you women do it???? you guys are like sexual camels, you can go for long periods of time without sex..Men never have this problem, we grab a playboy , head to the bathroom and we are cool.This is what you can do, get a nice hot bath going. Take a nice long soak,lay in the bed and discover yourself...