I've been dating the same girl for 4 years.In the beginning, the first year or so, our relationship was strong and fun.Finally, out of nowhere, she gets into the hardcore partying stage. She wanted to live two different lives. One with me, and one with her friends partying and seeing other guys. One night she got caught up with the wrong people and took drugs and then was taken advantage of. That was it for me. We broke up for about 6 months and dated other people. It was so weird and different. I couldn't be with any other girl. I would just compare them all to my girlfriend, I wanted MY girl back. We got back together and our relationship has been 2x stronger for 2 more years. Now college is here. She's going to a college 3 hours away. She's been going up there for cheer camps and all she does it drink and go to clubs. Its starting all over again. She says she wants to be with me but all she wants to do is party now. Should I end it or risk getting hurt again!
2006-06-15 05:16:00 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
A anticdote: I have a friend who began dating a guy when she was 15 and he was 14. She was his first girlfriend and they were each other's first sexual experiences. They stayed together though all of high school, hit some bumps in college but pulled through that. They were together for 8 years, when it fell apart in their mid-twenties. My friend was devastated. That was a year ago. Now, she's doing far better, but she's discovring that she doesn't know anything about dating and men our own age because she missed out on all the experiences that teach you about these things. She also realized that their love, while real and deep, was a love based on the people they used to be and not the people they had grown up to be.
First and foremost, you are not the priority in this girl's life. She's juggling lots of things so unless you're ok being tossed around some more, this isn't the place for you. Someone who really cares about you would be showing you more respect than this. Additionally, considering your ages, (while I hate to be the downer), this isn't going to work out forever. While we all love the idea of being with our high school sweetheart forever, the reality is that in our teens and even into our early twenties, we're not done evolving into the person we are going to be. So our needs and desires about relationships are going to change drasically and the people and things who were so important to us are often the things we look back on and say "What was I thinking?"
My advice is to put yourself and you integrity as your highest priority. You've given her chances to get her life together and she hasn't managed it. You know what you want and deserve to be with someone who shares your values. Move on, bear the pain, and come out of it a little older, wiser and ready to open yourself to new people and relationships. Good luck.
2006-06-15 05:33:48 · answer #1 · answered by Hope V 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it depends on what you will tolerate. You can not change a person even if it is for the better, and you just need to figure out what you will tolerate and what you wont. It sounds like you need to walk away, but only you can make that choice. But definitely set boundaries.
2006-06-15 12:27:10 · answer #2 · answered by Micka 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry hun:( just give her the space she needs. i know you are worried about her and yourself. so i would move on and let her do her thing. if she didn't learn from the first time, then something is wrong. there is nothing you can do but try to let her go. try to be her friend and let her know you love her and care for her so much but you can't sit back and watch her harm herself any longer. sometimes you have to enforce whats called, "tough love". and maybe she will come back to you, but you have to move on and let her do her thing. good luck
2006-06-15 12:25:33 · answer #3 · answered by toni h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
End it. If it's that strong, she'll realize what a good thing she had and if she's lucky you'll still be around. You have your standards for what you expect in a mate and if they can't be respected by her, then she's not the one for you.
2006-06-15 12:31:20 · answer #4 · answered by purpleama456 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really think that if she was very serious about the relationship, she would NOT party all the time and she WOULDN'T go back to her old ways. and since she is obviously going back to her old ways, she is not serious about the relationship. you should end it to avoid more pain.
2006-06-15 13:09:13 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ ~*Angela*~ ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋