I have a brother who's not married but have a child. Recently he recieved a letter from the court. He supports the child with products but the mother wants cash... He strongly feels that she spends the cash on herself but not for the child. So he doesn't want to give her cash. Can he get trouble for it? How can he get full custody of the child?
2006-06-15 05:07:38 · 9 answers · asked by julie l 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He needs to go to court and seek custody or he will have to pay the child support. Buying diapers is not considered support by any court. He doesn't have a say on how the money is spent unless the child is not being properly cared for. If he doesn't pay the support he will have his wages garnished. He can also go to jail. Seems stupid to risk this because of petty jealousy. This is a good reason why people should be married before having children. It's a lot less trouble.
2006-06-15 05:14:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to the court and get a court order saying you either get full custody, or that certain items will work as child support. Unfortunately I've never heard of the courts granting the purchase of items in lieu of monetary support.
If there is a court order saying he must pay cash and he doesn't, yes he can get into trouble.
If he wants full custody, he has to fight for it in court. Good luck though, courts are very much biased towards the mother for child custody.
2006-06-15 12:10:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the exact same thing. If the mother has the child at this present moment, it helps his case if the child is a male child and he wants to have custody. If they live in the same area the judge is only going to grant Joint custody, which at that point they will set parameters on what each parent is allowed to do, and at what times. The best thing he can do on the financial side is go to the bank and set up an account in the child's name and put someone on the account that he trusts and allow them access to get the money he places in there for the child only. He can monitor the spending that way.
2006-06-15 12:20:52 · answer #3 · answered by jman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother needs to stop trying to control the mother of his child. He's doing that by not wanting to give her money, even though he does not live with her nor does he know the details of her life. The court will award the mother money, not material items. Your brother can try for custody, but it is a very expensive endeavor, and if he's doing it just to get out of paying child support, then shame on him.
2006-06-15 12:11:46 · answer #4 · answered by kathy059 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him toys and products don't heat the house..
Let him know that this baby needs not only products but a roof over its head heat in the house and lights and gas ext. and that cost money the gas co. wont take a rattle as payment..Let him know that child support isn't just to buy the baby products but to help keep a warm safe roof over the baby's head.
Tell him the judge will get pissed when he try's the old "but she spends the money on herself bit" ALL of the deadbeat worthless daddy's say that.
Tell him having the baby move in with his just so he don't get a measly 15% taken out of his check is a stupid reason to want a child and it will cost him way more them 15% to have the baby full time.
Also tell him to use a condom he is not ready to be a father and baby's deserve better them that.
2006-06-15 12:18:44 · answer #5 · answered by Lilly K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For full custody, well that's almost impossible unless he can prove her to be unfit for the child. As far as the support, yes she can go through the state and mandate that he pays support, in cash. They'll laugh at him if he tells them that he buys products for the child. There's more to support then products. Go to the child support enforcement's website and you can figure up how much he'll be required to pay.
2006-06-15 12:39:22 · answer #6 · answered by purpleama456 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its very hard to obtain a child from its mother if there is nothing real serious going on in the mothers house hold. however i do agree with your brother and no he doesn't have to put money in her hand. the smart thing for him to do is to put the money in money orders and or if he chooses to buy the child what he or she needs he should keep all receipt even though in some courts when a parent buys things for his or her child and the child is not living with them it is not considered supp or it is considered gifts from a parent so the the best thing for him to do is to give her the child support in money orders this way he has a receipts or his payments and proof that he does take care of his child if they should ever have go to court.
2006-06-15 12:14:05 · answer #7 · answered by dasure2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to visit a lawyer and express all concerns that he may have about the child and the mother.I know of alot of people who prefer to buy the things needed for the child rather than give money for the same reason as your brother.I'm guessing that he is right in his concern about the mother spending money on herself or she probably wouldnt be complaining. Good luck :) Remember that it is always most important to act in the best interest of the child. Your brother needs to keep all reciepts for proof that he is providing for the child,even if its buying milk.It will help for him to keep a book of conversations and things that happen as well. :)
2006-06-15 12:21:28 · answer #8 · answered by SuzanneInOnt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a guy, so getting full custody is going to be next to impossible. Unless he can prove he is doing alot of things for the child, such as Dr. Appointments. We send $500 an month to my husbands X-wife, and we still buy his clothes,shoes, schools supplies. A good lawyer is your only hope. Good luck
2006-06-15 12:12:40 · answer #9 · answered by mojo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋