I am sick with cancer and my mom is here taking care of me. My wife has never been much of a houswife. She just recently started taking care of her own kids. My wife is more a career woman than a homebody. She tries but she just doesn't fit the bill. My mom runs circles around her in the cleaning cooking and pampering department. She is more attentive to my needs. She is available for me 24/7. For example. One night at 2am I nudged my wife awake to aske her to bring me a glass of water. I have a terminal illness and am bedridden so I can't do these things for myself. She gets up with an attitude and brings it. I don't have to worry about that with my mom. She does everything I ask with a smile. My wife quit her job and stopped going to school she says to take care of me, but, she doesn't do half the things my mother does. My mom wants to leave and go back down south because my insecure wife doesn't want her around. I know I will not recieve the care I have been getting once my mom goes
2006-06-15 04:47:17 · 5 answers · asked by Oracle 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have aches and pains all the time. I ask my mom for a massage and get it with no questions. My wife moans when I ask her and then gives me half of a massage. I can count on my wife financially but she just can't cut the mustard where it really matters. She is super lazy! I knew this when I married her but I really need her now. I am going away with my mom. I know for sure my needs will be met with her. I don't trust my wife to take care of me at all. She's incompetent.
Another thing is she can't get over the past either. I cheated on her repeatedly throughout the marraige and I have told her how sorry I am, but, she keeps bringing it up. I am ill and I can't deal with her drama right now. I need to be in a good frame of mind so I can heal. She is going to kill me with her constant nagging and whining. Am I being unreasonable?
2006-06-15 04:52:58 · update #1
Do you remember your wedding vows in sickness and in health? You know if my spouse wasnt taking care of me and showing the love and support I needed I might just pack my things and say ADIOS! I mean given you need help if your mother is there to help you then take what you can get. If she isnt being a wife or partner at all then what is the marriage about? Sounds like a house full of misery to me. Thats the last thing you need you need some love and support regardless of the mistakes youve made. If she cant trust you or get over the things that happened maybe you guys should get some help with your marriage. Otherwise if she cant get over it, I think she isnt going to change how she feels and maybe the marriage is over. I think if I was sick with cancer Id want positive things in my life and if someone is dragging me down Id either talk to them about it and work it out or like I said if that doesnt work and youve exhausted other options, stay with your mom. You need positive reinforcement right now to help you get through. Good luck.
2006-06-15 05:04:02 · answer #1 · answered by niteangel2283 3 · 5⤊ 2⤋
consider that your wife may be trying to seperate herself from the situation to make it less real to her. it probably terrifies her adn she is probably scared to lose you. Talk to her and let her know that you want you mom to be there for you and also to help life some of the responsibility for your care off of her. if she still has a problem with your mother helping you out, then i'm not sure how you would handle that, but let you r eife know that it is important to you to have your mother there to help you AND your wife through this difficult time
i wish you all the best
2006-06-15 11:56:24 · answer #2 · answered by plastik_persephone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its horrible that you have cancer and I'm very sorry. That said dont tell me you cant see your wife's side. You cheated on her for years and now she is supposed to take care of you with a smile on her face ????? The only word that comes to mind is Karma.
2006-06-15 12:21:56 · answer #3 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
when my mother had cancer, she imported her sister, my aunt to help me take care of mother. my aunt ( i called her sarge because she was bossy) just got in the way and tried to delegate the duties all to me. eventually, i told mother that my aunt had go go from whence she came. i took care of mother until the end and don't regret it.
2006-06-15 11:55:12 · answer #4 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r not being unreasonable at all, i think u should go with mum, she's the one who can take care of u best becos she gave birth to u.
2006-06-15 12:53:15 · answer #5 · answered by pOOhPhAT 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋