Live with your partner you don't love anymore just for the children's sake or split up and explain to kids why their father doesn't live with them anymore.
2006-06-15 04:46:39 · 13 answers · asked by desperate housewife 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It depends entirely on your reasons for wanting to leave.
Here's one side of the coin: your husband is an alcoholic and physically abuses you, and on occasion, physically abuses the kids. Under this condition, without question, you should leave -- and bring the kids with you.
Here's the other side: you have been married for a while and are bored, and have developed an interest in someone else. Meanwhile, your husband is a devoted (if boring) guy, and your kids are both under five years old. Under this condition, you may not like to hear it, but you took on a significant responsibility when you decided to have children, and you need to live up to that responsibility. Even if you no longer have an interest in your husband, you owe it to your children to give them stability and support. Talk with your husband, perhaps go to counseling, but whatever you do, don't deprive those kids of the family they need.
Now, your situation likely falls somewhere between these two extremes, and you'll have to make this judgement call for yourself. However, I can say this: you may end up leaving, and that may be the best solution for everyone, but leaving is permanent, and even if you change your mind and somehow manage to get back together later, the kids will never trust you to stay together. Without that trust, they won't feel safe, and they'll be far worse off for it.
So talk to your spouse. Let him know how you feel, and sincerely try to work it out -- give it a chance before you throw the stability and support that your children rely on out the window. You owe them that much, at least.
2006-06-15 04:54:39 · answer #1 · answered by daveowenville 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's very hard but you need to split up if you truly feel there is no chance to get back together. If you stay together for the childrens sake as you said, they will soon see that their parents don't love each other and the strain between the two of you will affect them in a negative way! It will be hard on them at first but in the end, they will end up doing much better than it would be if the two of you stayed together in a loveless marriage.
It was hard on my two children when my wife asked me for a divorce 13 years ago but they grew up to be two wonderful kids! Do what is best for you first and your children second!
If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of them.
I wish you the best of luck in which ever way you go!
2006-06-15 18:26:05 · answer #2 · answered by Ekimo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is never a good excuse to stay in an unhappy relationship for the children sake, that is a reason we say for us as a parent to hold on to someone that we once loved, and is wishing that something miraculous will happen and bring that love back in reach, it never happens, and in the meantime our children aren't stupid they see, and can sense that things aren't the way it used to be, and that is definitely not healthy for their emotional health. We say we love our kids, and only want the best for them , well if that was a true statement then we'll amicably divorce, and not further harm them. For your kids sake, please do the right thing. Leave! Good luck.
2006-06-15 11:56:37 · answer #3 · answered by jusb4dawn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children are stronger than you think... If you can make the break without fighting than the kids will heal after time. But you will find happiness and real love. (so I am told) I have just got out of a 13 year marriage were the love between us had been gone for 3-5 years. He is happy, in love, and ready for marriage again (after our divorce is final) I am NOT going to settle again I am waiting for the REAL LOVE to unfold. So don't do anything that will not make U happy just for the kids....
2006-06-15 11:57:12 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I stayed many years longer than I wanted to for the kids sake. I can't tell you the right thing to do in your situation. I just ended my marriage after 22 years. My youngest is 15.
2006-06-15 11:50:07 · answer #5 · answered by lavenderroseford 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay and help those kids grow up with parents and an education and everything else that goes with a family. You can split in the future when your job is done.
2006-06-15 12:05:09 · answer #6 · answered by Irish 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Split. You want love, not hate.
my parents stayed together too long. My father cheated for years and my mother let it go. Finally, he wanted a divorce. It was the best for my mom.
So, go. You can get another loving man.
Take Care
2006-06-15 12:16:00 · answer #7 · answered by javarick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do what is best for the relationship if there is no hope then let it go.It is not far ti use kids as an excuse to stay in it, or make it work, think of what goes on in there head when you and your partner are fighting to make things work out.Trust me I used the same excuse for a long time, till I realize i was creating more damage first to my kids, then to myself, and lying to my partner
2006-06-15 11:57:16 · answer #8 · answered by vito194 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave...somewhere down the line your children will feel the tension and that not a good environment to raise your children either.
2006-06-15 11:54:16 · answer #9 · answered by mygirl971 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah yes, at what price happiness... I've said it before, you have to ask yourself Dear Abby's timeless question: "Would you be better off with him or without him?" Only you can decide, it's your life and your happiness. Children will understand as they age. He will always be their father.
2006-06-15 14:52:57 · answer #10 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋